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Recovery--"work" in progress

The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 3rd February 2018, 9:24 AM   #31
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 39
**** happens, Grey! I'm 100% taking that approach. I'm clearer today, and there was no follow-up phone call last night. I feel relief. You were totally right regarding that moment when the number popped up...totally paralyzed -- like WTF is THIS? In that same moment I was clicking it on. However, this phone situation is a struggle. All our colleagues use their main phone for both personal and professional, so it's not something I can block. Everything else is with social media, and there is very little email communication.

Anyway, the weekend is full -- I filled it up with activities with my children and friends, and we keep moving forward.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 11:48 AM   #32
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 154
Originally Posted by Poppy47 View Post

You can't give up any addiction by indulging occasionally. This is no different.

I think you are exactly right, Poppy. I found out by trying to reach out, but getting nothing in return. Now I have to start all over!

Sunrise/Sunset - I admire that you were the one to pull the plug. In my case, I was discarded, and that is the part that hurts the most. Good luck to you!!
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Old 4th February 2018, 4:26 AM   #33
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Posts: 215
Sunrise_sunset, I agree with Grey_Cloud about the call. In the early stages, it can be quite difficult not to answer when the the call(s) come through. I felt compelled to answer his calls, mostly because if the shoe had been on the other foot, I would want him to answer mine... Eventually, after telling him that we couldn't talk, I had to block xMM's number... and then force myself not to look at the list of recent blocked calls... and then busy my mind so that I wouldn't think about the fact that he wasn't calling me... it has taken me quite a while not to expect to hear from him and not to become sad when his number is not in the recent blocked calls list. Now, it is normal for me to think about it in passing and then quickly move on to something else.

Originally Posted by Poppy47 View Post
Why would you envy his wife?
The grubs is using her love and trust to betray her.... Is that what you want for yourself?
Well, Poppy, when you put it like that...

Of course, you're right, but for me, well, it took me a minute (and a lot of reading on here) to learn that it was her trust in him that he used to become involved with me. He was one way with me, and I imagined him to be the same with her. But like MJJean wrote, it is very possible that he was that and ALL of the exact opposite, too, with his wife. I can't possibly know how he is or was with her. But... the fact remains that she trusted him, and if she hadn't she might not have let him out of her sight at all.
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