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A shock


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Old 6th January 2018, 7:55 PM   #1
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A shock

I am writing this here, because there is nobody to tell.

This morning I was having coffee in my local shopping centre, looked up and xMM's identical look alike was walking towards me. For one moment, I was sure it was him.

Same tall thin build, white hair. The gentleman must have thought I was very odd because all I could do was stare at him.

It had a suprisingly profound physical and emotional effect. I immediately wanted to throw up and had to hold back tears. I drove home crying and still feel very upset. It was a huge shock to see somebody who could have been him.

NO, I have no desire to contact him. Just want to regain my equilibrium.

Poppy.
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Old 6th January 2018, 8:29 PM   #2
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I had a similar incident last night...similar car and similar build
I started shaking and almost had a full blown panic attack
Isn't funny how our body reacts, knowing how toxic these people are to us

Hugs Poppy
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Old 6th January 2018, 9:27 PM   #3
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I had a similar incident last night...similar car and similar build
I started shaking and almost had a full blown panic attack
Isn't funny how our body reacts, knowing how toxic these people are to us

Hugs Poppy
Thanks,

I felt trapped. What would I have done if it had been him for real???
Perhaps I would have thrown up on his shoes... oh well! Hopefully we will never know.

POppy.
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Old 6th January 2018, 10:17 PM   #4
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I had something similar happen recently. But it really was him. I do my best to avoid chance encounters at work but sometimes it is unavoidable. Passed him in the hallway. We looked at each other for a long instant, neither of us knowing what to do, and finally he nodded and I mumbled hello. I don't know how to interpret how he was looking at me - a mixture of confusion and hurt and anger, maybe. I know he doesn't get why I can't be around him. He just thinks I'm being mean to him.

But this encounter threw me off and my whole body was buzzing like I'd had an electric shock. I had to go sit at my desk and just breathe for a few minutes.
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Old 6th January 2018, 10:22 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Poppy47 View Post
I am writing this here, because there is nobody to tell.

This morning I was having coffee in my local shopping centre, looked up and xMM's identical look alike was walking towards me. For one moment, I was sure it was him.

Same tall thin build, white hair. The gentleman must have thought I was very odd because all I could do was stare at him.

It had a suprisingly profound physical and emotional effect. I immediately wanted to throw up and had to hold back tears. I drove home crying and still feel very upset. It was a huge shock to see somebody who could have been him.

NO, I have no desire to contact him. Just want to regain my equilibrium.

Poppy.
`I get it, it's like your body, though is on auto pilot & you are for a moment not at the helm.
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Old 6th January 2018, 10:48 PM   #6
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Oh wow, Poppy, you were caught completely off guard.
Although you might've looked "weird" to the stranger, I am glad this person was not your ex. The experience has given you something to think about though, right? Maybe you can think about what you would do if it were to happen... he walks in and you are confronted by his presence... Hopefully, it won't ever happen... but stranger things have happened

Recently, I dreamed that I saw an older version of xMM. He had been involved in an accident and was talking with the police as I passed by in my car. He was still quite beautiful but had a more pronounced beard. Anyway, I kept driving and that was that... some portion of my soul was sad for a moment, the way that he looked in my direction without seeing me. The way I saw him but didn't react or get his attention. People who used to know each other, one of whom loved the other, passing by now without a word.

Hugs to you, Poppy. You will ride out this wave and you will regain your equilibrium, all without contacting this person who has nothing new or different to say... a person who doesn't fit with your wonderful new life.
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Old 6th January 2018, 10:53 PM   #7
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Perhaps I would have thrown up on his shoes...
Haha well that's one way to break the spell!

I can definitely relate. Every once in awhile I see someone that from a distance looks like my nemesis - uh, xMM. My stomach turns over and I hold my breath. When I realize it's not him, I breathe a HUGE sigh of relief. Feel like I've dodged a bullet. Almost like a near-death experience.

Can't believe I'm still reacting this way. I mean, it's been YEARS since I've seen him or talked to him or even heard about him at all.
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Old 7th January 2018, 2:10 AM   #8
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I had that for a while. I would feel intense anxiety if I saw anyone who looked remotely like him. I eventually went on antianxiety drugs, off now. This of it as a PTSD, you went through a terrible event. I'm sure I'd feel it if I saw him.
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Old 7th January 2018, 2:29 AM   #9
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I had that for a while. I would feel intense anxiety if I saw anyone who looked remotely like him. I eventually went on antianxiety drugs, off now. This of it as a PTSD, you went through a terrible event. I'm sure I'd feel it if I saw him.
Well this man this morning could have been his identical twin... I kid you not.

Still unsettled and it was 8 hours ago. I can't wait for tomorrow and a new day.
Poppy.
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Old 7th January 2018, 9:26 AM   #10
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Oh Poppy :/,I dont know why this happens really. Stay strong Poppy.

As much as I never want to connect to xMM nor see nor talk. I would shake too, if he called me or messaged me. I would freeze too if he actually physically came in front of me (well, I only saw him at school never during EA , it was only my messaging and very few calls from him, funney hey). Its normal for you to get upset. I think it will pass slowly but surely. Hang in there .
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Old 7th January 2018, 1:37 PM   #11
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Hi Poppy -- I know how you feel and my thing was not as long nor as involved as yours. I honestly think these things are such traumatic experiences, it's almost a form of PTSD. (And as someone who works in mental health, I don't say that lightly). These chance encounters trigger such emotional and physiological responses and bring you right back to those awful days.

I've had similar reactions. Once, when I had another MM (and boss) try to start something while I worked at a job very similar to the one where I met xMM. It was such a helpless, nauseating feeling every single day.

And now I hear from friends that xMM is on a trip to the US away from the country he relocated to. Even that leaves me unsettled. He is not thousands of miles away but hundreds. As odd as it sounds, even that is unsettling.

I wish you well Poppy and hope a good night's sleep has helped.
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Old 7th January 2018, 5:11 PM   #12
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(((Poppy)))

That is unsettling, for sure. I would have reacted he same way. I still struggle a lot with anxiety when it comes to xAP. It's happened where I see him driving, or I know I might run into him because of our kids. You're not alone. Hang in there! I hope you have a good rest and like you say, tomorrow is a new day. You'll get through this!
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Old 7th January 2018, 11:48 PM   #13
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The reaction was normal. You really did love him so the unexpected encounter is a form of PTSD due to a trigger.

Hope it gets better and you just keep posting like you have so far.
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Old 8th January 2018, 12:12 AM   #14
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Those of you who really didn't have to see theirs xmm's, you all are so incredibly lucky.
I had to work with mine very closely, it was like dying thousands deaths every day.

Poppy, you will bounce back quickly, it just took you by surprise because you've reconciled with the thought that you will never see him again, so you were completely unprepared.

It always help to create little scenarios in your mind what to do if you have accidental run in - how to bow out quickly and gracefully if you are face to face with them, or how to avoid being seen and leave the scene quickly to avoid the situation altogether.

You've come so far, you'll be back on your feet in no time.

Best wishes, D.
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Old 8th January 2018, 1:11 AM   #15
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Thanks Everyone for your replies.

I am almost back to normal now. Still feeling a little upset, but no doubt tomorrow will be better.

He is not likely to cross my path again as he lives a long way from me. He would have no reason to be in my suburb. He will stay well away as he fears I will tell his wife if he annoys me.

POppy.
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