guest Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 My last post was sad............................ but since then i've started seeing a councelor as has he............. we are separated right now.....................but have been discussing a completly open marriage ................i like the idea of it .........but can it actually work ..................or will it make things worse?.....................any perspectives on this i'd love to hear the negs and positves........................................................ty Is it really possible to make an open marriage work? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted June 15, 2005 Senior Moderators Share Posted June 15, 2005 In my opinion, an open marriage is no marriage at all. Marriage is a commitment between two people. In an open marriage, either party is free to see other people. That simply isn't a marrage, I don't even know what to compare it to. On the other hand, if both parties truly and sincerely agree that they want to exist that was in a relationship...it can work. However, if the parties truly love and care for each other I just so see how they could tolerate their partner seeing somebody else...having sex with them....whatever. I suppose the human animal is capable of most anything. Bottom line: Open "marriages" can only work in the rarest of circumstances and still be called marriages. Otherwise, they are something else and I'm not sure what. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyWheat Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by guest My last post was sad............................ but since then i've started seeing a councelor as has he............. we are separated right now.....................but have been discussing a completly open marriage ................i like the idea of it .........but can it actually work ..................or will it make things worse?.....................any perspectives on this i'd love to hear the negs and positves........................................................ty Is it really possible to make an open marriage work? that sounds like swinging....but you don't get to choose who your partner swings with I don't know of anyone who has done this Link to post Share on other sites
chaos70 Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Oddly, I had two close friends who did this. But it was more of a girlfriend for both her and him. They did it for a year while they still were together "sharing" said girlfriend. But after a year, they decided they had done their exploration and wanted to focus on a family rather than having a girltoy. Link to post Share on other sites
izzybelle Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 from what i understand there are a number of "swingers" who live in the area i live in. while i don't know any of the couples personally, i do know who some of them are and their marriages, on the surface anyway, seem to be a stable as some of the others i know. i know another couple that has a slightly different arrangement in that they are allowed to be with someone else but they have to tell their spouse first. if it's done behind the other's back, that's it, game over. i don't know if either of them have ever followed through on it, but in my opinion they have one of the strongest marriages i've ever seen! but like i said, i don't know if either of them had ever been with anyone else. i don't want to know, and i don't ask. wouldn't be my thing but ... it takes all kinds and i do think people find what works for them, but it has to be something that both agree to. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 It could only work if BOTH parties involved have open minds, don't mind sharing and can control their emotions. I would never be able to have an open marriage. I don't want to share my husband and I definately don't want to be with anybody else but him. I'd be waaaaay too jealous and terrified he'd fall inlove and leave me. Some men and women can separate sex and love, be detached. I'm not one of those women who can. Nor do I ever want to. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 i think its a whole different thing to swinging, swinging i find sleazy and totally about the sex. however an open marriage i think could work, if you want the comforts and easier practical arrangement of living together, especially if you have children, but you also want to be free to see others. one thing though, you have toboth be in the same place for this, or you have to be prepared for a lot of teething problems. dont settle for it if its purely a way of pleasing him and being with him and its not your ideal choice. Link to post Share on other sites
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