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My Responsibilities to the Other Spouse


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I have a number of friends who are having affairs on their spouses. I see them with their spouses in social settings (dinners, birthday parties, etc) - I feel like hell knowing what they don't know - that their wives are sleeping with other men while these husbands are at home caring for their small children. Do I have any form of responsibility to say something at all? I have told these women many times how destructive this behavior is and I no longer personally associate with them for the most part - but these husbands look like total idiots. I have had two of these husbands ask for advice on improving their relationships with their wives. Ugh..

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purplesorrow
I have a number of friends who are having affairs on their spouses. I see them with their spouses in social settings (dinners, birthday parties, etc) - I feel like hell knowing what they don't know - that their wives are sleeping with other men while these husbands are at home caring for their small children. Do I have any form of responsibility to say something at all? I have told these women many times how destructive this behavior is and I no longer personally associate with them for the most part - but these husbands look like total idiots. I have had two of these husbands ask for advice on improving their relationships with their wives. Ugh..

 

No, the responsibility is on their spouses. Why do the husbands look like idiots to you?

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I'd stop being friends with them & stop socializing with them. I couldn't hold my tongue but I'd prefer to stay out of it because they always shoot the messenger.

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I'd stop being friends with them & stop socializing with them. I couldn't hold my tongue but I'd prefer to stay out of it because they always shoot the messenger.

 

Shooting the messenger only occurs sometimes. Usually, it happens when the BS is completely happy in the marriage and has no idea. In addition, I have rarely seen BH's shoot the messenger. Actually, I can't recall one story in which I hear the BH shoot the messenger. In reality, a lot of men get just as pissed at the people who don't say anything to them. OP, its completely up to you what you want to. Honestly, you would probably get more flack from the WWs then the BHs. I think the one thing that did upset me about your story is that husbands are actually trying to improve their marriages. These men deserve better than their wives.

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