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My theme song as the OW


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LilGirlandOW

A song that makes me sad everytime I hear it, especially the live version, wow

 

Me looking at him and his married life from..... the outside,

 

Outside - by Staind

 

And you

Can bring me to my knees

Again

 

All the times

That I could beg you please

In vain

 

All the times

That I felt insecure

For you

 

And I leave

My burdens at the door

 

But I'm on the outside

I'm looking in

I can see through you

See your true colors

Cause inside you're ugly

You're ugly like me

I can see through you

See to the real you

 

All the times

That I felt like this won't end

Was for you

 

And I taste

What I could never have

It's from you

 

All those times

That I tried

My intentions

Full of pride

And I waste

More time than anyone

 

But I'm on the outside

I'm looking in

I can see through you

See your true colors

Cause inside you're ugly

You're ugly like me

I can see through you

See to the real you

 

All the times

That I've cried

All that's wasted

It's all inside

 

But I feel

All this pain

Stuffed it down

It's back again

 

And I lie

Here in bed

All alone

I can't mend

 

And I feel

Tomorrow will be okay

 

But I'm on the outside

I'm looking in

I can see through you

See your true colors

Cause inside you're ugly

You're ugly like me

I can see through you

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LilGirlandOW

I am struggling lately, I feel so lost and alone cause who can you talk about to about being in an A, its sad cause my family know I'm seeing somebody just not the whole story, and I'm sad cause everything "I want" is fighting inside me cause I want him, I want peace, I want someone all the time, I want the love I (think/assume) we share, I want free of living the lie...

 

I'm like a drug addict is how I feel cause I dont know how to not want him..

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LilGirlandOW

if he left his marraige today i would be very happy to be with him, and as much as we talk, text and hang out. its becoming a very lonely situation for me. and we started as boss/employee at the same company. i resigned to protect his job, i miss my old co-workers.... i feel like somedays i just need a hobby to occupy my mind and other days i worry ill miss a text if im off doing yoga, then theres the rest of the day i feel i need a labotomy to cut his presence out of my mind.

 

thank you for your kind words and support

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LilGirl,

 

I am so very sorry you are struggling right now. I can remember feeling the exact same way towards the end of my A and I KNOW it is a lonely, sad place to be.

 

I don't have much advice other than to be honest with yourself if your relationship is no longer "working" for you and talk with your MM. Regardless of whether or not you talk with him about your feelings, please start living your life and don't let him be the center of your world (as LFH said).

 

Please take care of yourself and so many of us are here if you need us...

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Sending you big hugs and the knowledge that things will get better.

 

Well that's what I am hoping :)

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