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xMM just keeps calling me, calling me.


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reachingskywards

Dear Girls

 

I’ve been feeling pretty depressed and low these last couple of weeks. It seems to be getting worse.I split from my MM 3 weeks ago. I guess Im still going through the withdrawal.

 

I’ve seen him a couple of times since we split – once for a work function and another time we went out to dinner (as friends).

 

But – I’m still having a hard time. One thing is that he calls me almost continuously at times. I asked him not to call me late at night because it’s hard for me to sleep – so he starts calling me 5 times a day at work. I share an office with my boss so that’s made things difficult and very awkward. My boss started to ask me what’s going on? She then said ‘are you having an illicit affair or something’. I emailed him and asked him to cool it … but he’s still called that afternoon and the next day asking if I could talk (which is a big improvement, but still!!).

 

When he calls it’s usually with the reason to discuss business ideas etc (we’re both interested in starting separate online businesses) – but it still impacts on me emotionally.

 

So the question is – why can’t I just ask him to stop contacting me??? I don’t really know. It’s some really deep seated emotional thing in me. I guess part of me doesn’t really want to let go completely. I wouldn't mind being his friend if it was just a call every couple of months or so. Another part of me has deep issues with not being wanted etc… things I’m working through as best I can.

 

I’m going to counseling next week and have ordered some books from the States to help me, hopefully. I live in Australia and they’re taking a long time to get here.

 

I guess the more I deal with fixing me the easier it will be to shake him off. Maybe then I can really get on with my life.

 

Sky

 

PS: One good thing that has come out of all of this is that I'm fast getting less and less attracted to him.

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You just answered your own question. The reason you can't let go is because you're not willing to. It's no wonder you're having a hard time; you're having dinner with him and talking to him multiple times a day. That doesn't sound too much like a breakup to me. Let him discuss business ideas with someone else and you do the same. If you want to end it, then end it. Otherwise, don't pretend to be broken up because that's only going to make you less and less credible in his eyes (and yours).

 

Please learn from the mistakes of others who have hung on for months and years and still ended up in the same place--alone.

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