Little me Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Hi people there, Ive been lurking here for about a week. Yeah.. soryy... Im just wondering, what do you leave for someone like me? I felt for someone who told others he was married but not me and its just feels like magic and "telepathy" and we both seem very happy when we are in the same room, like there is no one else, so I asked around and he is married, just had a baby, so I decided to kill the feeling before I act upon it and Im very much in deep pain, Ive done nothing to pursue it. Im just sad I wish him good cuz I feel al this tender feelings for him, and all his body language indicates he feels attracted to me, but I also feel uncomfortable that he might be a cheating bastard cuz he offered me a car ride the week I met him. I remember him saying a pick up line at a wedding! to me four years ago but I was too shy then and had just lost alot of weight so I didnt buy it when people found me cute. Maybe he wasnt married then? Ill never know. I love him, will never act upon it. But he started to be so goddamn happy around me, his eyes sparkling, and me too. And then I did a little research and I hate it. Its over. It sucks. Help me. He has family -a brother I think- living in my same building. I might have just bumped into his parents in the elevator. Why me? How can I kill the feeling? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 well - congrats on deciding not to pursue thing - dating married men is hell on earth. so it's complicated by the fact that he seems attracted to you as well. HMM. one option is to approach him and directly say - i know you're married, i find you attractive, STOP flirting. but i'd leave this as the last resort. otherwise, just keep on dating others and try to keep him out of your head. There's another trick that works for some - every time you see him, imagine him puking or smth like that - something nasty - eventually your mind will associate him with nastiness - might help. best of luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Little me M Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 No, the one thing Im going to do, since I have no choice now but to take a class with him -in college- is that if he approaches Im going to tell him Im never second and even tho I feel something for him Im trying to stop it and Im going to sit as far as I can from him. If it was to be a great love, then it would be so strong he would end his present relationship, the idea that he would cheat on me afterwards is not inviting. I mean if it was some sort of miracle his realtionship has gone rancid. But as it says everywhere it just wont happen except for miracles and those never have simpathy for me. And Ive never had sex even though I sould have by now and with someone I cant have for mysel its not inviting. Actually I havent been able to sleep much for a couple of weeks and my friends that a few dAays ago wondered why I was so happy they are worried why I am so sad, but theres no point in asking them. One is a slut the other would be horrorized I even have feelings for him. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 well, i'm glad you're clear on the fact that if anything were to develop, he'd have to have his divorce papers first. it's too bad you can't complain to your friends about it, but feel free to PM me and complain anytime. it's going to be kind of hard, given you have to be in the same class - any chance of not taking this class this term? do sit far from him, if not. but your best bet is to get out there and go on dates with other people. i'm currently getting a guy outta my head - and lemme tell you, dates are a grrreat distraction. also spend more time on your hobbies, with family, etc -don't let yourself get depressed over this, plz! good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Loving a married man is much like coveting a great car which just happens to be parked in someone else's garage. You may get a few joy rides in it....but you'll never own it. Unfortunately, love doesn't come with an 'on / off' switch. Once you have feelings for someone, it's hard to get rid of them. The trick is not to dwell on it and avoid the person at all cost. Knowing the end result of the emotional roller coaster of most affairs....I SWEAR I'd quit my job before even taking a chance of going thru that type of pain. Other than some magnificent drug....I can't think of one thing which presents itself as being so wonderful....but then ends up totally devastating your life as an affair does. It's mind boggling how your heart gets so wrapped up in them.....and then there seems to be no way out. It's in THAT frame of thought that you have to find the strength to walk away NOW. He may think you are really something and has a major crush on you.....but you know what??? As soon as you've serviced him a few times....he's going to get real mushy about that new baby and remember his obligations as a husband.....then you'll get left feeling a whole lot worse than you do right now. It's not worth it, Little, it just isn't!! Link to post Share on other sites
Little me M Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 I can stick to why I set out to, do but Im in pain because it pretty much felt like something magickal and a little bit of research on him blew it completely. Im not a big flirt. Im an incredibly shy girl and guys think Im this sex kitten, but they dont act "in luv" like him. I was fat some 5 years ago and I havent gotten used to my image. Its like he is everywhere now. Thats strange, isnt it? I just have to tell myself he isnt really that my type cuz he is even pretending to sound like a better person because he heard my opinion on certain issue. Why on earth cant there just be people you care about and love deeply but dont have sexual feelings for, because it just feels liek someone very close to me reincarnated and I could jsut hug him, Im ranting, But Im staying out of his reach and putting out there all signs Im not interested, body language rocks. Link to post Share on other sites
Little me M Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Originally posted by Arabess As soon as you've serviced him a few times....he's going to get real mushy about that new baby and remember his obligations as a husband.....then you'll get left feeling a whole lot worse than you do right now. It's not worth it, Little, it just isn't!! Exactly what I think, Arabess. But I cant switch if off that easily and you are right too, but at least its not a pattern, Im looking for someone for just me. ´ Picturing him in ugly ways worked for another crush I had tro dump because he was very bad for me, but with him I just guess I have to find something I dont like of him as a persona and deeper my knowledge on it so I really disike him. It worked for the other guy, then looked at his bad pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
Little me Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Id private message you, but it logs me out every time I try to. I registered thats not it and I log in, but thanks, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
mjk Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Of course this jerk is going to be "Don Juan" around you. His wife just had a baby...I have zero experience in this area as I have no biological children of my own, but I would think that he and his wife might not have been too sexual lately? I'm thinking your gonna need to take two classes one with him, and enroll in another, "The Heartbreak Hotel Class" You are headed for big emotional trouble if you keep around him...you know it...and I know it. Link to post Share on other sites
Little me Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Yeah... right! And you make me feel so lame. that might be the lust in litle sweeties eyes. Then my problen is completely different, I need an excuse home to get money to pay a different workshop this summer since Ive already told I cannot get my money back and I definitedly need to take one every year to finish my major in time. Argh yeah it might me so also because its not the type of subject where you stay seated and thats it. See people mostly come here when its too late so dont think its silly, this is how most things get going -by not pulling themselves out of "innocent" tempting situations in time. Link to post Share on other sites
mjk Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Well it sounds like you understand yourself and what you feel is right to you. The thing that's hard is you're only seeing him, not the "other side" of him. I wish you luck, falling for someone is tough and once you do it is hard not to keep feeling that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Little me Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 I was in this strange situation just an year ago in which mister pathetic bastard whore wasnt attached to anyone when we met but kept taking "official girlfriends" afterwards and several lovers, mostly male, with the excuse I wasnt a celebrity and therefore wasnt good enough for him, then I realized I just was too good for him -even tho he might think its not over it is. Well none of this people he cheated on me with had any respect or consideration for this little girl they even played along with him letting me know I was just his worthless toy. For over than five years! Note that he spent more time with me than anyone else tho. I rejoice in the fact that after I left his popularity went down the toillet, yeah! Link to post Share on other sites
Little me Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Nah, Im guessing that even tho I really fell really hard, I sure as hell dont want more pain and this has disaster written all over, Im picturing him in not too apealling ways as we speaks, its going to be over. Im coming to reason, this conversations are helping me. Link to post Share on other sites
mjk Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
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