Angel25 Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 I hope someone can give me adive- I'm feeling so terrible today. Last night I told my married boyf that I needed more from the rltnshp and that if he wasn't prepared to give me that then I had to move on. The thing is, I love him SO much that this is tearing me apart. I just can't stop crying and feel so depressed. The stupid thing is, he was away on holiday for 2 weeks and during that time I went out with a coupld of guys (something that I'd never done in the 2 1/2 yrs we'd seen each other). These guys were nothing to my boyf though. And it made me realise just how much I value him and view him to be the Love of my Life. I want to be with him so much, and really really don't want to lose him, I can't understand why I told him that I didn't want to see him again- I'm so stupid, I think I was just wanting to provoke a reaction. I want him back, but I think that if I try to talk to him he'll only say that I've made my mind up and if that's how I feel there's no point in continuing. But I want him so much, I need him. What should I do? Can anyone give me some advice pls? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 he's married, and he wasn't going to divorce her, obviously, if he spent 2.5 years having an affair with you. Wouldn't you feel terrible being the "other woman" your whole life?? Sounds to me like moving on is JUST the right thing to do! 2c, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleAngel Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 Sounds to me like moving on is JUST the right thing to do! AMEN, well said yes! Why would you want someone else's man?? Why would you always want to be the 'other woman'??? Why would you always want to be in a needy position????? Why would you want to be with someone who will never be able to fulfill you completely?????? Why would you want to be with someone who is not committed to you??????? Let me tell you something you DON’T need him, you WANT him that much cos you cant have him! Set yourself free! You will never feel complete in this type of situation. Take control of your life, Don't give control to someone else! Read this book.. WOMAN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH by Robin Norwood. Good Luck ~PurpleAngel~ Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 Actually, there's a really good book called "How to Survive the Loss of a Love: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0931580439/qid=1059239279/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/102-2855116-4476924?v=glance&books&n=507846 Like any other 'addiction', it is going to be really rough for a while but you did the right thing and there will be somebody else for you who will commit to YOU. Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
aprilfool Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 i did the same exact thing on monday with my married bf. his wife has moved out but that was 3 wks ago and he still wears the ring and no divorce papers as of yet... he just wanted us to be friends that hang out and kiss and make out.(rrrrightttt) i've come to realize, and you should too, that i will and would always be second to his wife. i applaud you and every other girl that has made this type of hard decision. stand your ground, girl. ask yourself these questions: why would you settle for so little? if he did ever leave his wife, how do you know he would marry you? are you willing to be this man's consolation prize and wait desperatley in the wings for him to leave her? do me a favor, and go out tomorrow and buy the book, "The Rules" and read it from cover to cover. i did and have never felt better about a decision in my life. my only problem now is that i have to find another job because he owns the co. i work for! we've been friends for 2 yrs so i also lost a friend. take heart, you did the right thing! Link to post Share on other sites
lipglossboost Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 The first question you need to ask yourself is this ... how long are you willing to wait for this man to change his life for you? And how much of your own life are you wasting waiting for him to come around? It seems to me that, after more than two years, it should be fairly obvious that he doesn't appear to have any intentions to leave his marriage and be with you the way you want (and deserve,) him to be. Part of you must realize this, or you would not have given him the ultimatum that you did. You may love him, but it seems that isn't enough for him to leave his wife. The only thing you are accomplishing by staying with this man is wasting time that you could be using to find someone who can truly make you happy, and someone who is available to do so. I'm sure it is very painful to break it off with him, but once you work through that pain you will be able to find happiness again. If you don't, this relationship will likely continue to be painful as long as you remain in it. Why miss your chance at real happiness? Luck & Blessings, ~Lexi Link to post Share on other sites
IRULE Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 he used you why would anyone want to be used,whether you feel you got something out of it or not.was it really worth it?do you not deserve better? Link to post Share on other sites
bark Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 As a married man who was "dumped" more than 7 months ago by his married lover, after a 3 year affair, I offer this advice: Get over him, get over him get over him. Time will ease the pain and your "love jones" will eventually subside. Like any addiction you must go through painful withdrawal, but you'll come out the other side a better, stronger, happier person. You did the right thing. Don't relapse. Get out there and meet men who want you and only you. It will be nice not being "shared" with another woman. Let this guy go. Link to post Share on other sites
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