browneyedsweetie1281 Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 So I had been friends with this guy for about 3 years. About a a year ago we started hanging out. He was going through a rough patch in his marriage and he wanted to leave her, but she had severe depression so he was afraid to. We would just meet up and talk. It was all very innocent at first. Well, after a while, a kiss led to touching, and touching led to sex. We had sex about 3 times and then hung out a few more times after. I have not seen him in about 9 months. I never even really had romantic feleings for him. We were just pretty much each others comfort in tough times. So wrong and I have felt so guilty ever since. Then just a few days ago, his wife hacked into his facebook and posted that her husband cheated on her with me and it was very explicit. I am beyond regretful and feel so bad for this sin I have committed. I have not clue how she found out because he would not acknowledge my calls/texts and then she started sending me harassing texts and I told her for neither one of them to ever contact me again or I would file a PPO. I dont know what to do because I am so fearful that my reputation is going to be ruined. So far I have just denied everything. Please give me some advice!!!! How can I save my reputation when I don't even know how she found out??? I am just feeling so much remorse. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 Sounds like you are feeling regret, not remorse. You can't keep lying to cover the wrong and call it remorse. Remorse requires that you do the right thing no matter the consequences. Regret is when you hate you got busted. All you have done is talk about your reputation, saving your assets and how she found out, lying to still. Truly remorseful, you just do what is right. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 Don't deny it, own it. You chose to have an affair with a MM, knowing full well he was having problems, knowing his wife was suffering from depression. It was WRONG of him to cheat on her to begin with, but now it's out, take responsibility for your part in this. You are worried about your reputation, I have to ask, why weren't you concerned before you chose to have an A with a MM? People USUALLY get caught, and everyone gets hurt, innocent people like his wife. She is pissed off and yeah, she's announcing to everyone about her A's affair with you, but you DID help bring this on, especially knowing she was unwell mentally. SHe is hurt and upset, betrayed and right now, lashing out. If she tries to hurt you physically or threatens your life, then get the cops involved, until then just ignore them. Get rid of your facebook or make it totallly private so they can't find you. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 So I had been friends with this guy for about 3 years. About a a year ago we started hanging out. He was going through a rough patch in his marriage and he wanted to leave her, but she had severe depression so he was afraid to. We would just meet up and talk. It was all very innocent at first. Well, after a while, a kiss led to touching, and touching led to sex. We had sex about 3 times and then hung out a few more times after. I have not seen him in about 9 months. I never even really had romantic feleings for him. We were just pretty much each others comfort in tough times. So wrong and I have felt so guilty ever since. Then just a few days ago, his wife hacked into his facebook and posted that her husband cheated on her with me and it was very explicit. I am beyond regretful and feel so bad for this sin I have committed. I have not clue how she found out because he would not acknowledge my calls/texts and then she started sending me harassing texts and I told her for neither one of them to ever contact me again or I would file a PPO. I dont know what to do because I am so fearful that my reputation is going to be ruined. So far I have just denied everything. Please give me some advice!!!! How can I save my reputation when I don't even know how she found out??? I am just feeling so much remorse. Why were you contacting him if you didn't have romantic feelings for him? When was the last time you tried contacting him? You weren't concerned about your reputation when you started having sex with him....why are you concerned now? And who are you concerned about finding out? If I were in your shoes, I would OWN what you did. IF it hasn't happened in over 9 months --- then why the panic now? Admit what you did, admit you screwed up and then just let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 I have not clue how she found out because he would not acknowledge my calls/texts and then she started sending me harassing texts Isn't it obvious? She found his cell, saw the messages and that's history. She also has every right to be upset and react. Up to a point of course.. But, when you sleep with another woman's husband and there's a Dday (discovery day of affair), expect the wife to react! Sorry but it boggles my mind when some are completely shocked that a wife reacts and gets angry at the OW. *Her anger should mostly be directed at her H, but the ap isn't an innocent bystander. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 I have to agree with WWIU on this one. The OP played the game, yet doesen't like the fame. The affair was your responsibility not the BS's. The MM and you had a reat ol time for a long time. The BS is understandably angry and striking out as best she can. Link to post Share on other sites
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