Love is Tragic Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 I apologize in advance, because i feel the need to vent, and what better place to rant and rave about my exMM?? So my last thread talked about how i ran across his myspace profile and sent him a "remember me?" message. Of course i got no response and he even blocked me from sending him any more messages. Out of weakness i still visit his page from time to time, e-stalk if you will. Im looking at his page the other day and what do ya know! The wife has one now too! To make it even worse, he posted a comment on her page saying something like, "back off guys, shes all mine", and she has pictures of him referring to him as "my honey", and "my hero". And of course, he is looking absolutely gorgeous in all the pics. She looks the same-short, fat, ugly. Oops, was that out loud? my bad.. Im surprised shes even "letting him" have a myspace, she always told him no before. Although im sure she has complete control over it, she has to control everything. I am soooooo debating on sending him a message from one of my friends pages to just ask for my closure once and for all instead of him being a pathetic jerk-off who runs away instead of facing his problems. You know, if they have worked things out and are happy now, than im happy for them. Thats all i ever wanted for him was to be happy. But hes going against everything weve ever talked about-we both told each other if either one wanted to end it, that neither one would just dissapear and blow off the other. They probably deserve each other, they are both so jealous and controlling, what a perfect pair.. Sorry to sound so hateful everyone-but this just really burns me!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Do yourself a favour, stop e-stalking him and his wife. It is only pissing you off and upsetting you. Pretending to be someone else from a friends page is just silly and game playing. Im surprised shes even "letting him" have a myspace, she always told him no before. Although im sure she has complete control over it, she has to control everything. How do you know that's true? Is that what he told you??? Anyway, they've moved on, he's not answering your messages so maybe for your own sanity, you should as well. Digging around in his life is preventing you from healing properly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Love is Tragic Posted November 28, 2007 Author Share Posted November 28, 2007 I know i should just try my best to move on and forget-but when someone makes a promise to me i expect them to keep it. I dont expect him to keep me hanging on, i just want some closure out of this. He told me that his wife said no to getting a myspace because she is so insecure she thinks myspace is just for meeting and hooking up with people. She has even banned him from talking to anyone he met while staying in my home town, because she is so paranoid. Ive met and somewhat hung out with her several times, so i know how she is. Of course, who really knows for sure. I just want to erase him from my mind and i thought that time would make it easier to do just that, but i find that it has only made it worse-and i think of him more and more each day that passes. Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBRAT Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Ok...not sure if you wanted advice or just to vent... In regards to sending him a message via your friends Myspace page... I understand WHY you want to...but he has already BLOCKED you. Messaging him NOW on another page is ONLY going to make you look stalkerish and petty. He GAVE you your closure when he blocked you. That speaks volumes. I am sorry to be harsh...but sometimes we can't see the truth when it's staring us in the face. You REALLY wanna get back at him?? Move on....And don't look back. If you just CAN'T help yourself and HAVE to say something.. Say Something like.."You and your wife look like you deserve each other.Better her than me"..... I wouldn't EXPECT anything from him though...not even a reply. So probably best to just move on.... Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 By the way, he made a promise to her first. Link to post Share on other sites
annabelle75 Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Let it go. Its all just an act anyway. My MM and his BS did the exact same thing. Less than a month after D-day they both signed up for myspace and left messages about their undying love all over their pages. It was obvious they were putting on a show. It was very juvenile and was simply their way of trying to make other people believe they were "sooooooooo happy" and in love. Just let it go. The only closure you are going to get in this sitaution is from yourself. Close the door and walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
PLAYBRAT Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Annabelle is PROBABLY right...it is probably their way of attempting to resurrect their love or at least put on "airs" that all is well. This is a classic case of a man who knows his ass in on the line... HOWEVER...my advice to you still stands.. HE will get his OWN karma.Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
imstunned Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Hi. Last week my exmm cottoned onto the fact that he has a profile online that I could have looked at. He closed it down so only friends could look (he has 2). I was so angry I texted him telling him to shut down his face book too. He then phoned me the next moring - One week ago today. I am glad that I now cant look at his profile. There is nothing on it anyway. However he can look at mine - if he wanted to. So I make sure that my profile pic looks damn good. I aslo have posted pics of me at a party recently looking pretty hot and surrounded by men. I doubt he wil look - but if he does I look like I'm out there living the life of a singleton - which I'm sure is exactly what my 27 year old exMM wishes he was doing. No matter how much my fingers twitch I will never give him the pleasure again of contacting him again as that just lets him know I'm thinking of him. How much of an ego boost must that be - a good looking girl he has treated like Sh*t STILL contacting him. No more - not me. I'm too busy LOOKING like I'm having fun. Sooner or later I really will be having fun, and one of these days one of the men that surround me will be worthy of me!! Do the same - dont EVER let him know you are thinking of him. xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author Love is Tragic Posted November 29, 2007 Author Share Posted November 29, 2007 Hi. Last week my exmm cottoned onto the fact that he has a profile online that I could have looked at. He closed it down so only friends could look (he has 2). I was so angry I texted him telling him to shut down his face book too. He then phoned me the next moring - One week ago today. I am glad that I now cant look at his profile. There is nothing on it anyway. However he can look at mine - if he wanted to. So I make sure that my profile pic looks damn good. I aslo have posted pics of me at a party recently looking pretty hot and surrounded by men. I doubt he wil look - but if he does I look like I'm out there living the life of a singleton - which I'm sure is exactly what my 27 year old exMM wishes he was doing. No matter how much my fingers twitch I will never give him the pleasure again of contacting him again as that just lets him know I'm thinking of him. How much of an ego boost must that be - a good looking girl he has treated like Sh*t STILL contacting him. No more - not me. I'm too busy LOOKING like I'm having fun. Sooner or later I really will be having fun, and one of these days one of the men that surround me will be worthy of me!! Do the same - dont EVER let him know you are thinking of him. xx Great post imstunned!! thanks for the advice-my profile isnt private, so he could look at the entire thing, as well as blogs and pics. And i always make sure my default pic is a pretty smokin picture of myself, hahaha.. I only contacted him the first and only time because i wasnt even positive it was over-in his last two phone calls to me stated that he had been busted and that he still wanted to keep in contact with me, it just couldnt be as often. Link to post Share on other sites
child_of_isis Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 This is exactly what they are hoping for. Sorry to sound so hateful everyone-but this just really burns me!! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 II am soooooo debating on sending him a message from one of my friends pages to just ask for my closure once and for all instead of him being a pathetic jerk-off who runs away instead of facing his problems. Why? I am shocked by how love makes us so non-objective that we can't see the most obvious. He doesn't want contact with you, he wants tompreserve his marriage. Don't buy their lovey-dovey mesages on the web; they are not happy, unfortunately. But hes going against everything weve ever talked about-we both told each other if either one wanted to end it, that neither one would just dissapear and blow off the other. Frankly, he has no boligations to you. If his wife told him to keep no contact, he is respecting her desire and his promise to her - anf that's the one that counts and gives him more integrity. They probably deserve each other, they are both so jealous and controlling, what a perfect pair.. Ok, so let them be. Move on, for your own sake. Forget him and stop visiting his myspace page. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 By the way, he made a promise to her first. Yes, and look how well he honored that!! No matter how much my fingers twitch I will never give him the pleasure again of contacting him again as that just lets him know I'm thinking of him. How much of an ego boost must that be - a good looking girl he has treated like Sh*t STILL contacting him. No more - not me. I'm too busy LOOKING like I'm having fun. Sooner or later I really will be having fun, and one of these days one of the men that surround me will be worthy of me!! Now it's MY turn to be stunned!! Great turnaround!! You are finally seeing that he is not worthy of one more iota of your time. And I hope you will continue to walk briskly away from anyone who doesn't treat you well. Life is waaaaaay too short for that. You Go Girl!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ms_Natalie Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Being the OW myself, at one point...let me give you a word of advice; They are still together and are obviously trying to sort out the problems that they had before he ventured off to find you. Your constant e-stalking, although understandable, is completely wrong. You need to let go. The more you try and meddle with their lives, the more he will begin to dislike you and you could end up getting yourself into serious trouble. He doesnt want to be with you, sweetheart, he has made that perfectly clear. You should have known the risks when you first deceided to get involved with a married man, and understood the many ways the relationship could quickly turn nasty. There are plenty more, MM, unmarried blokes in the sea. Dont force all your energy into this situation, as you will get yourself increasingly frustrated and hurt. The bottom line is this; if he had wanted to spend his life with you, he would have left his W. I have experience of this and have just bought a house with my partner who was the MM and I was the OW. For us, things worked out...not without troubles tho. Some men will, and some men wont...even tho we can tar all MM as being the same cheating, untrustworthy people. They are all individuals... The best thing you can do is; show him how happy you are; only then will he realise what he is missing. Vow to never take him back... Good Luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Let it go. Its all just an act anyway. My MM and his BS did the exact same thing. Less than a month after D-day they both signed up for myspace and left messages about their undying love all over their pages. It was obvious they were putting on a show. I think everyone can see that that's the case, for certain. And like someone else said... it is meant to be a slap in the face and a simultaneous public declaration of happiness and togetherness. Public... who knows what the private truth is. No matter how much my fingers twitch I will never give him the pleasure again of contacting him again as that just lets him know I'm thinking of him. How much of an ego boost must that be - a good looking girl he has treated like Sh*t STILL contacting him. No more - not me. I'm too busy LOOKING like I'm having fun. Sooner or later I really will be having fun, and one of these days one of the men that surround me will be worthy of me!! Do the same - dont EVER let him know you are thinking of him. xx This is fantastic advice from imstunned. All you would be doing, if you contacted him, would be to demonstrate that their public show of togetherness is working. Not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 It might not be meant as a public 'slap in the face' for you. It might be that they're simply re-affirming the love that they feel for each other. Its a common response when a marriage begins to recover after an affair. The odds are, they're not even thinking about you when they're posting this stuff. Its probably meant to be a public affirmation of how they're feeling for each other at the moment. It sounds like they're "moving on". It also sounds like going to his/her pages is doing nothing but hurting you. Intentional or not, its easy to see how it would make you feel to read that. I'd suggest not going to his site. Quit giving him power over your emotions...take charge of yourself and your own life, and do things for YOU. When you feel the urge to check his site...do something for YOU instead. Pamper yourself instead of letting yourself be hurt by what you see there. Eventually, you'll quit having the urges to check in on him. And you'll find yourself a much happier person for it. Link to post Share on other sites
imstunned Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Have to admit - my talk is cheap - if I still had access to exmm's sites i'd stil be checking them as often as I did. It felt like a HUGE virtual F OFF when he made it so I couldnt access it - so I totally understand how you feel. Its not nice, and there isnt alot we can really do about it except try and move on. At least somehwere down the line the TRYING should come easier. I hope. x Link to post Share on other sites
Suny1 Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Stunned!!!!! We are *twins with evil grinsssss!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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