Hurt & Alone Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Hello everyone, Have not contributed to any of the posts in the last few days. I still find myself getting into trouble even when try to do the right thing. I took a week to myself, my daughter spent the week at my mothers so I could try to glue the broken pieces of my life back together again and get over the continual emothional breakdowns I was having. Ended up going to happyhour yesterday and we all drank too much, but because it was my last day bf my child came home I did not want to end the night so I ended up going to a strip club with this man I know from work (not xmm), but he is married. Did not think anything of it because people can go out together all the time, did not have nay intentions of anything happening 1. bc he was married and 2. had no interest in him. I had never been to a strip club so I wanted the cultural exp (it was my idea to go). We get to the club and we are still drinking, I an well over intoxicated level, did not know how I was going to get home but figured worse comes to worse I will call a cab. Anyway, I really liked a few of the girls outfits and offered to buy from a girl but she didnt want to sell her favorite outfit. Later on I saw a girl with a long sparkly red dress on that swooped down in the front ahd back was completly opened. She came over and I asked her she said $110 I stated no I wont pay that much for a dress, so the guy I with says "you really like It" and I did but told him I would not spend that kind of money. So he bought it and tole me to go put it on and I did. I was still in work clothes so I put in on bc I wanted to feel sexy but not for him. Night continues and we have to leave otherwise I was going to pass out (drank waaaaaaaaay to much, shots really sneak up on a person). He suggests thta we get a hotel room for a few hours to sober up, I refuse bc I knew what he wanted and I told him he was probably in enough trouble with wife bc it was late and there was no way that I would put myself into another predictament with another mm. Instead I ask him to take me to my bf's house and he does but he was furious, you could see it in his eyes. I do not believe that I ever lead him on to think that we would have sex. Anyway he drops me off and my bf is pissed bc she thinks that I will build a rep for sleeping with mm eventhough, I did not sleep w him. Question I have should I give him the money for the dress he bought, give him the dress or leave the situation closed becasue I never lead him on to think I would have sex w him? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 What's done is done... Too bad, so sad for him he bought you the dress...Just because he spends money, doesn't mean he gets sex... If people are going to talk, they're going to talk...won't matter if you paid him back or not...His loss here... I am curious as to why you would suggest going to a strip club with a man that you're not interested in...I'm sure you understand that they are arousing to men? I think if you are truly not wanting to develop a reputation, you should be careful about who you are with and where you are going...There is really no need for a single female and married man to go out as a pair, it's too tempting, even if you're friends...There should always be someone else with you, for appearances sake... Don't talk to him again, if you're not interested in him... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurt & Alone Posted August 4, 2007 Author Share Posted August 4, 2007 I had never been to a strip club before and wanted to see if it was like the movies. Orginally there were going to be others from the group but they did not show up. It was a bit crazy and actually he did not have much interest in what was going on up on the stage. The laws here to dont allow for touching and the only things a person can see is the breast but w clear tape over the nip. I have decided not to go out anymore, I tend to find myself into too much trouble when I drink. I hang out with people from work bc I dont have anyone else. I guess my bf is right when she says I have no street smarts just book smarts. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 I am not saying there's anything wrong with going to a strip club...Just that with a MM you're not interested in, well, he could get the wrong impression, which he apparently did... There's nothing wrong with going out either...Just watch how much you drink so that you don't find yourself in situations you'll regret later... Link to post Share on other sites
child_of_isis Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 I am having a hard time getting past the"buying clothes right off the back a stripper" part. Is that protocol in strip clubs in your neck of the woods, or just something wacky that went on that night? I would give him back the money for the dress. Personally, I wouldn't be doing this stuff around the people I work with. I would find friends outside of that circle when I felt like getting wild. This is just not good. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 5, 2007 Share Posted August 5, 2007 Hello everyone, Have not contributed to any of the posts in the last few days. I still find myself getting into trouble even when try to do the right thing. I took a week to myself, my daughter spent the week at my mothers so I could try to glue the broken pieces of my life back together again and get over the continual emothional breakdowns I was having. Ended up going to happyhour yesterday and we all drank too much, but because it was my last day bf my child came home I did not want to end the night so I ended up going to a strip club with this man I know from work (not xmm), but he is married. Did not think anything of it because people can go out together all the time, did not have nay intentions of anything happening 1. bc he was married and 2. had no interest in him. I had never been to a strip club so I wanted the cultural exp (it was my idea to go). We get to the club and we are still drinking, I an well over intoxicated level, did not know how I was going to get home but figured worse comes to worse I will call a cab. Anyway, I really liked a few of the girls outfits and offered to buy from a girl but she didnt want to sell her favorite outfit. Later on I saw a girl with a long sparkly red dress on that swooped down in the front ahd back was completly opened. She came over and I asked her she said $110 I stated no I wont pay that much for a dress, so the guy I with says "you really like It" and I did but told him I would not spend that kind of money. So he bought it and tole me to go put it on and I did. I was still in work clothes so I put in on bc I wanted to feel sexy but not for him. Night continues and we have to leave otherwise I was going to pass out (drank waaaaaaaaay to much, shots really sneak up on a person). He suggests thta we get a hotel room for a few hours to sober up, I refuse bc I knew what he wanted and I told him he was probably in enough trouble with wife bc it was late and there was no way that I would put myself into another predictament with another mm. Instead I ask him to take me to my bf's house and he does but he was furious, you could see it in his eyes. I do not believe that I ever lead him on to think that we would have sex. Anyway he drops me off and my bf is pissed bc she thinks that I will build a rep for sleeping with mm eventhough, I did not sleep w him. Question I have should I give him the money for the dress he bought, give him the dress or leave the situation closed becasue I never lead him on to think I would have sex w him? I find you very naive for the following reasons: going to a strip club with a guy you're not even interested in... this guy is married... you are well over the intoxicated level... you want to buy a long sexy dress a strip girl wore... you accept that this married guy pay for the dress... you keep drinking when you know you are wayyy passed the 'intoxicated level' you put that sexy dress... 'but not for him' LOL in a strip club with a married guy... he wants to take you to a hotel room to 'probably' have sex... because he probably thought you 'teased' him all evening... and you do not believe that you ever lead him on to think that you would have sex with him... then... you need to give your head a shake sweetie...cause IMO you very well knew where that was leading...you just chose to ignore it... Question I have should I give him the money for the dress he bought, give him the dress or leave the situation closed becasue I never lead him on to think I would have sex w him? YES of course... reimburse the money for the dress... and yes you did lead an 'intoxicated' man to have sex with you... sorry but it was just that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurt & Alone Posted August 6, 2007 Author Share Posted August 6, 2007 Naive, yes probably so. It was a crazy night, not something I would ordinarily do. But, I was able to walk away with saying no but I will give him the money for the dress. The dress was remarkable and that is only the reason I wanted it. I was expecting others to show that night but they did not. But lesson learned, never drink beyond logical thinking abilities. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Naive, yes probably so. It was a crazy night, not something I would ordinarily do. But, I was able to walk away with saying no but I will give him the money for the dress. The dress was remarkable and that is only the reason I wanted it. I was expecting others to show that night but they did not. But lesson learned, never drink beyond logical thinking abilities. You got to be in control 24/7. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 I find you very naive for the following reasons: going to a strip club with a guy you're not even interested in... this guy is married... you are well over the intoxicated level... you want to buy a long sexy dress a strip girl wore... you accept that this married guy pay for the dress... you keep drinking when you know you are wayyy passed the 'intoxicated level' you put that sexy dress... 'but not for him' LOL in a strip club with a married guy... he wants to take you to a hotel room to 'probably' have sex... because he probably thought you 'teased' him all evening... and you do not believe that you ever lead him on to think that you would have sex with him... then... you need to give your head a shake sweetie...cause IMO you very well knew where that was leading...you just chose to ignore it... Lizzie will tell you that it's probably less than one out of 50 posts where I will emphatically agree with her, but when I do, I'm willing to admit it. The sequence she described above is an ever escalating yellow-brick road to sex. Now you can arguably say, "but I never promised... he shouldn't have assumed..." whatever. And I admit that different people will draw the line at different places - some will say you shouldn't have gone to a strip club with a MM in the first place, others will have little problem with that, but will find fault with your getting drunk, etc... Regardless where each of us draws the line, you have to be either very naive or else knowingly manipulative to make it all the way down that list. Personally, I think you made a mistake going with the MM at all, but even if I were less conservative in that regard, letting him buy the dress and then putting it on definitely clinched it. There's no way he thought anything other than that you were putting it on to look sexy for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurt & Alone Posted August 6, 2007 Author Share Posted August 6, 2007 Really did not put much thought into anything that night. I will call him and apologize for my behavior and give him the money for the dress. I have to take full responsibilities for my actions that led him to think this and guess being too drunk really is not a good excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted August 6, 2007 Share Posted August 6, 2007 Really did not put much thought into anything that night. I will call him and apologize for my behavior and give him the money for the dress. I have to take full responsibilities for my actions that led him to think this and guess being too drunk really is not a good excuse. Do not call him! Leave it as it is... Link to post Share on other sites
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