Agent M Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 So, I was hangin' with this really hot, awesome guy last night...we are involved in projects together and were having a blast working on them. He started telling me how attracted he is to me.....and he is married... Of course I was like no, no, no, even though I am devilishly attracted to him too. So, when I went to leave I gave him a hug goodbye and he kissed me and man, it was so hot, like I don't think I've EVER been touched that way before and I was up most of the night thinking what it would be like b/c I was SO aroused. I guess the question is, I wonder why the hell I have so much fun with guys that are taken?? Maybe it's b/c there is no pressure. But why are all the attractive ones either taken or dysfunctional? Can we be happy with just a "normal" guy? Sometimes I think I should be like Samantha of S & TC, and skip the emotions and crap, and have sex if my body needs, and not get involved otherwise, ya know?? Unfortunately, it seems to make sense at this point in my life. Does anyone else feel similar? Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 So, I was hangin' with this really hot, awesome guy last night...we are involved in projects together and were having a blast working on them. He started telling me how attracted he is to me.....and he is married... Of course I was like no, no, no, even though I am devilishly attracted to him too. So, when I went to leave I gave him a hug goodbye and he kissed me and man, it was so hot, like I don't think I've EVER been touched that way before and I was up most of the night thinking what it would be like b/c I was SO aroused. I guess the question is, I wonder why the hell I have so much fun with guys that are taken?? Maybe it's b/c there is no pressure. But why are all the attractive ones either taken or dysfunctional? Can we be happy with just a "normal" guy? Sometimes I think I should be like Samantha of S & TC, and skip the emotions and crap, and have sex if my body needs, and not get involved otherwise, ya know?? Unfortunately, it seems to make sense at this point in my life. Does anyone else feel similar? Depends what you are looking for in a realationship, You can not compare yourself to a scripted character from a popular TV show, but if you are going to do that she did have feelings about a few of the men she was with, and anyway that is fictional, this is real life. For me emotions are why I get up in the mornging so it is hard for me to see that you can just push them aside. If you just want a physical relationship with someone that atrratcts you wildly then go for a single man, and if you feel that there is just too much pressure buy a fake ring and ask him to wear it during lovemaking, or in your case F***ing... Sorry for my bluntness guess I am having a bad day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Agent M Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 Thanks but I don't think you understand what I mean. Don't worry about it...I'm starting to think it was a mistake to post some real feelings and frustrations, as people seem to get more upset rather than understanding about this situation..... Link to post Share on other sites
freakygal78 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 OK I'm not going to get on my high horse about this one - I have been involved in an emotional affair with a MM and the most physical contact was a hug and a hand-hold. That aside I know how powerful the feelings you had are....it is tempting to say screw the world and just shag whoever the hell you feel like and blow the consequences considering the rather slim pickings of 'normal' guys or realising the really yummy ones are actually other girls' bfs...lol. I too find 'normal' guys boring - or dysfunctional. For years after my divorce, I was a known as a bit of a sex bunny amongst my friends - I guess I was trying to recapture a sense of self-esteem and control by validating my attractiveness with men. Needless to say, I had a string of meaningful one night relationships or short-lived, ill-fated ones - one of the guys I met told me afterwards he had a gf and that we had just slept together in their bed - he thought it would turn me on but instead I felt repulsed! I guess in time even that kind of lifestyle has its day. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy sex but now like to wait till I meet somone with at least something in common that way there is a bit of an emotional connection also because as fun as it is in the short term - you do get to a stage where you feel empty and numb and almost forget what it is to feel positive human regard towards the opposite sex because basically you are seeing them as a sex object...I wonder if men feel this way towards women sometimes? (Duh...) Anyway point is - it's your call - if he's hitting on you, I wouldn't think he has a lot of integrity. And if he is lying to his wife and stuffing around with their marriage, he has the potential to lie and stuff you around just as much - just make sure you don't get hurt in this thinking it's a Samantha thing - funny thing is, I started to identify with her as well at one point which is why I'm bothering to actually give you a comprehensive response. Not sure if it is helpful.....I know one thing for sure....this is real life baby....a LOT of hard knocks out there especially if you start playing like the boys do.... Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 screw the world and just shag whoever the hell you feel like I have to agree with this. Link to post Share on other sites
freakygal78 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Magichands, that was SO out of context.....lol. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Magichands, that was SO out of context.....lol. I do apologise. Very sorry. Maybe the paragraphs made it a little difficult to read, though. Are you really freaky? And, if so, in which context? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I guess the question is, I wonder why the hell I have so much fun with guys that are taken?? Maybe it's b/c there is no pressure. But why are all the attractive ones either taken or dysfunctional? Can we be happy with just a "normal" guy? You might want to look at why you seem to want to pursue MM, maybe you're right in your reasoning (no pressure)...but I think that some MM in general hit on women alot...especially single, attractive women...they want to know they still got it... And when you reach a certain age, most of the normal attractive males are married, if they want to be...but with the divorce rate at 60%, at some point, some of them will be single again... Link to post Share on other sites
puddleofmud Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 But her character did "grow" quite bit. Remember when she was engaged to "Richard" who she caught messing around on her? Then she could never forget he did that and the suspicion got the best of her, climbing about 40 flights of stairs IN 4" heels and cocktail dress because she thought he was making it w/ the hotel maid (end of episode you found out he was!). She returned his ring, exhausted from the stair climb and her emotional misery:To which he said, "But Samantha, I love you" And she replied (when taking off the amazingly multi carot larger than life rock): "Yes, BUT I LOVE ME MOOOORE".... From what I recall, sex is great: HOT! HOT! AND MORE HOT! But a body does have emotions, one can't cut off emotions any more than one can cut off an arm or leg. Samantha did learn that... And one must be prepared for the fact that a MM or an attached person may not even be sexually available when one is wanting sex! One may have to put one's "desires" on hold until said person is available. That could be hours, days or weeks. May not bode well for spontaneous sexual needs. I would think a single guy would be better for the "booty call" "sex bud" scenario. Gawd knows there are a zillion of them (single men) out there--ready for uncomplicated sex-buddy fun filled days and nights...and they don't have to leave or come or go at any given second. Not that I would know anything about that (ME, demurely looking innocently at the keyboard). So, I was hangin' with this really hot, awesome guy last night...we are involved in projects together and were having a blast working on them. He started telling me how attracted he is to me.....and he is married... Of course I was like no, no, no, even though I am devilishly attracted to him too. So, when I went to leave I gave him a hug goodbye and he kissed me and man, it was so hot, like I don't think I've EVER been touched that way before and I was up most of the night thinking what it would be like b/c I was SO aroused. I guess the question is, I wonder why the hell I have so much fun with guys that are taken?? Maybe it's b/c there is no pressure. But why are all the attractive ones either taken or dysfunctional? Can we be happy with just a "normal" guy? Sometimes I think I should be like Samantha of S & TC, and skip the emotions and crap, and have sex if my body needs, and not get involved otherwise, ya know?? Unfortunately, it seems to make sense at this point in my life. Does anyone else feel similar? Link to post Share on other sites
freakygal78 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 I do apologise. Very sorry. Maybe the paragraphs made it a little difficult to read, though. Are you really freaky? And, if so, in which context? freaky as in the 'crazy' sense - my latest nickname I have heard recently is 'Luna' - hmmm......not saying i'm a big sex fiend - just a very eclectic eccentric! Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 i'm a big sex fiend That's freaky! Link to post Share on other sites
ratingsguy Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 You know, when someone new comes to the board and posts that they're in the beginning stages of potential A, I almost get jealous. Why? Because at this point in time, you can turn around and walk away without any hurt! Most of the people here, myself included, don't have that luxury. Some of us have been in OW/MM, OM/MW relationships for years wishing we had never gotten involved! Being able to separate feelings from sex is a tough call. I guess it depends on the person. I was able to do it for a few months, but then me and my MW got really close. She was stuck in a loveless marriage and the stories she would tell me really made me feel for her. Now she's separated, and is going through the typical emotional roller coaster that a newly separated woman goes through (wish I knew about that earlier). It makes things more difficult, but I remain hopeful. Bottom line, getting involved with a MM or MW will create many new challenges and heartaches like you've never imagined before. I love my xMW, but part of me wishes I had never met her. Do yourself a favor and don't get involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Agent M Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 Thanks for your candid and caring replies. I couldn't bring myself to check this posting since the first reply, as I just started feeling like a low life. Well, I did decide to go for this single guy I know, one who had previously told me that he wanted an "open" relationship with me. At the time, I was like, "what are you, from another planet??" , but having been single now for so long, I decided to pay him a visit. Basically, he looks great, but he's dull as hell unless he's drinking (not good), and I just wasn't into the Samantha treatment. I went to see him thinking I would be...but there's just not enough of a personality type attraction for me. Maybe that's a good thing....maybe he's the right one then, just for sex? Well, I asked him if he had a g/f, he said no, and I raised my eyebrows like well, well, that's good. I told him I'd stop by to see him and the last thing he said to me was, "and wear your sexy black glasses and a short skirt", and then, instead of feeling jazzed like Samantha might, I felt like ****. And the other single men I know...? Well, even less of an attraction, unfortunately, and that includes sex appeal and personality. So what's a lonely girl to do, how long do I have to wait?? I probably shouldn't admit this, but when I started adding things up, in the last 15 years I've had sex with 5 guys...ONLY....and have not been in a relationship with any of them that lasted more than 1 1/2 yrs. Ugh! It's b/c I've not wanted to just go out and just get laid. So, you see my dilemma? Maybe I will just "try" it with this one single guy friend...ugh...ugh... Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Thanks for your candid and caring replies. I couldn't bring myself to check this posting since the first reply, as I just started feeling like a low life. Well, I did decide to go for this single guy I know, one who had previously told me that he wanted an "open" relationship with me. At the time, I was like, "what are you, from another planet??" , but having been single now for so long, I decided to pay him a visit. Basically, he looks great, but he's dull as hell unless he's drinking (not good), and I just wasn't into the Samantha treatment. I went to see him thinking I would be...but there's just not enough of a personality type attraction for me. Maybe that's a good thing....maybe he's the right one then, just for sex? Well, I asked him if he had a g/f, he said no, and I raised my eyebrows like well, well, that's good. I told him I'd stop by to see him and the last thing he said to me was, "and wear your sexy black glasses and a short skirt", and then, instead of feeling jazzed like Samantha might, I felt like ****. And the other single men I know...? Well, even less of an attraction, unfortunately, and that includes sex appeal and personality. So what's a lonely girl to do, how long do I have to wait?? I probably shouldn't admit this, but when I started adding things up, in the last 15 years I've had sex with 5 guys...ONLY....and have not been in a relationship with any of them that lasted more than 1 1/2 yrs. Ugh! It's b/c I've not wanted to just go out and just get laid. So, you see my dilemma? Maybe I will just "try" it with this one single guy friend...ugh...ugh... Agent sorry if my reply was harsh, just trying to save you some future pain down the road... I hope that it all works out! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Agent M Posted January 28, 2007 Author Share Posted January 28, 2007 Agent sorry if my reply was harsh, just trying to save you some future pain down the road... I hope that it all works out! Thanks, Pricillia....it'll be fine, I'm sure!! Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Maybe you need to change HOW you meet men...Who cares if you've only slept with 5 guys in 15 years? What matters is what have learned from those relationships... Take what you know about yourself, what you've learned from the past and what you are looking for in a R and then make a plan...What kind of guy are you looking for? Where do you normally meet men? Wherever you're meeting them now, probably isn't a good place... Join a class, a club or a gym...go for the reason of meeting people...open up your circle friends...give off the vibe that you are happy with yourself and you'll attract people to you naturally... Anyways, hope this helps... Link to post Share on other sites
freakygal78 Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Originally Posted by freakygal78 i'm a big sex fiend That's freaky! you really are very cheeky! *spanks* Link to post Share on other sites
Author Agent M Posted January 29, 2007 Author Share Posted January 29, 2007 Maybe you need to change HOW you meet men...Who cares if you've only slept with 5 guys in 15 years? What matters is what have learned from those relationships... Take what you know about yourself, what you've learned from the past and what you are looking for in a R and then make a plan...What kind of guy are you looking for? Where do you normally meet men? Wherever you're meeting them now, probably isn't a good place... Join a class, a club or a gym...go for the reason of meeting people...open up your circle friends...give off the vibe that you are happy with yourself and you'll attract people to you naturally... Anyways, hope this helps... Yes, I've learned a lot, but the biggest thing I've learned is that it's much easier not to be in a relationship, unfortunately. I'd LIKE to be in a relationship, but things tend to go awry every time. And then I stop sleeping, or rather, I can't sleep from the start, for many, varied reasons. I guess I'm the type who needs a relationship to develop, as friends, then I feel more secure and relaxed. But in the meantime...ugh. I definitely attract people but, for some reason I can't handle dating right off. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
puddleofmud Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Does it have to be IMMEDIATE or w. a single guy you already know? How about the thousands of single men you haven't even met? Just because you aren't w/ someone or not having "the sex" doesn't mean that you are an undesirable--loser- ulgy--troll! It just means that you are SINGLE and very very available...much like the rest of world awaiting their next date. Thanks for your candid and caring replies. I couldn't bring myself to check this posting since the first reply, as I just started feeling like a low life. Well, I did decide to go for this single guy I know, one who had previously told me that he wanted an "open" relationship with me. At the time, I was like, "what are you, from another planet??" , but having been single now for so long, I decided to pay him a visit. Basically, he looks great, but he's dull as hell unless he's drinking (not good), and I just wasn't into the Samantha treatment. I went to see him thinking I would be...but there's just not enough of a personality type attraction for me. Maybe that's a good thing....maybe he's the right one then, just for sex? Well, I asked him if he had a g/f, he said no, and I raised my eyebrows like well, well, that's good. I told him I'd stop by to see him and the last thing he said to me was, "and wear your sexy black glasses and a short skirt", and then, instead of feeling jazzed like Samantha might, I felt like ****. And the other single men I know...? Well, even less of an attraction, unfortunately, and that includes sex appeal and personality. So what's a lonely girl to do, how long do I have to wait?? I probably shouldn't admit this, but when I started adding things up, in the last 15 years I've had sex with 5 guys...ONLY....and have not been in a relationship with any of them that lasted more than 1 1/2 yrs. Ugh! It's b/c I've not wanted to just go out and just get laid. So, you see my dilemma? Maybe I will just "try" it with this one single guy friend...ugh...ugh... Link to post Share on other sites
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