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wife cheated with "well-endowed" ex.

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Old 24th July 2005, 4:01 PM   #1
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wife cheated with "well-endowed" ex.

I found out about my wife's affair with her ex-husband shortly after we were married two years ago. I have posted on this before. We are still together and going to counseling but things are still touch-and-go, especially since I found out that her ex-husband is "very well-endowed." I am of average size and this is just eating away at my self-confidence in the bedroom. Any suggestions on how I can overcome my lack of self-confidence?
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Old 24th July 2005, 10:24 PM   #2
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Not to minimize your pain but I beleive you are worrying about the least of your problems about your W's affair. You should be more concerned as to why your W had an affair with her XH shortly after she got married to you.

But if it helps you any, my W [second W] was also once married to a man who was 'well endowed'. I asked her if his endowment gave her greater pleasure and she told me that it did not. She said that for a woman, sex is more than just intercourse and if there is no emotional connection with the man she is with, then the sex really sucks. The lack of an emotional connection when she was married to her XH had to with the fact that he cheated on her with many different women during their 20 year marriage.

Ask yourself the following questions, if your W's XH endowment is so important to her, why did she divorce him? Why is she still married to you? Sounds to me like size really does not matter when it comes to wanting to be with you and only you.

Always remember that women are truly different than men, and what you are doing is 'masculinizing' the woman in your life, your W, with your unfounded fears of not measuring up. Your real manhood resides not between your legs but between your ears.

"I'd rather live by a dream, than live by a lie." - Todd Rundgren
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Old 24th July 2005, 10:43 PM   #3
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how do you know?

How long ago did you find out about this affair? Is this a fairly new revelation?

How do you even know he's supposedly well-endowed? A rumor? You saw him in the locker room? She told you?

First off, as a 30something woman, I can tell you that I'd take "average" over well-endowed any day of the week. I've had boyfriends who were well-endowed and they were too large, it hurt - their length would be such that aggressive sex would cause their penis to hit my cervix and that didn't feel good, and performing oral sex on them was uncomfortable because it was hard on my jaw. Also, please believe me when I say that size has little to do with's what you do WITH it that counts.......and intimacy is so much more than penis's about intimacy, closeness, kissing, touching, foreplay, tenderness, trusting each other enough to lose one's inhibitions.....................some of the best memories I have of sex were with guys who were definitely average.
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Old 24th July 2005, 11:15 PM   #4
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I had more than my share of sex, and partners, in my day. And the man I am in love with has, without question, the smallest penis I have ever experienced. Not freakishly small - I have had endless conversations with girlfriends comparing it to other men (I guess I had been mostly with average to well endowed guys before) but it is small. And believe me, I don't care in the least.

Don't be concerned about the size of this guy's penis. Really.

I hope your marriage is going well and that the other, more important aspects of this infidelity are worked out. But as for the size of the penis, really, don't fret your pretty little head over it.
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Old 25th July 2005, 12:51 PM   #5
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Talking with my friends, most can't come from penetration so it doesn't matter about the size for that. Now oral sex......

A well endowed man looks better at flacid stage and in speedos - ha ha - but that's about it.

No pun intended but don't make it seem bigger than it is
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Old 25th July 2005, 2:48 PM   #6
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Well-endowed is a man-myth. You guys like to worry about it, but really, unless we can't find the little thing, it's not that big of a deal. We're not talking about the grand canyon here - our parts aren't THAT big.

The most important part, for a woman's satisfaction, anyway, is located about an inch and 1/2 away from where your part goes anyway. A 90MPH tongue can easily trump the largest of members, if applied well.

I'm guessing that the affair just made you feel smaller in general. That's got to hurt.
"I do," "I'll never lay a hand on you," and "The check's in the mail" are my favorite lies.
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