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Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 15th January 2018, 12:27 AM   #16
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No contact i started last monday, 100%, when i went to my first break I booked it for a new different area and he tryed to chase after me, many people witnessed it. After break he was in my area and asked me what was wrong, and I said im done can't do this no more no more at all, in front of co workers only 3 others but they already know about the situation and how I have tryed to make it stop repeatedly. Then after that my one co worker went up to a supervisor and informed them. Next day, which would be monday night my tuesday, he appeared outside of my car wanting to talk. I told him no this isnt healthy I am not doing this. So that would be final no more exchange of words or anything since last monday night. He does NOT take no for a answer.
Do you see a pattern in the men you choose to get involved with?

Mr. Lucky
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Old 15th January 2018, 2:17 PM   #17
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Has he ever hit the kids?

If so why are you still with him. Stay with someone that hits you is bad enough. Staying with someone that hits your kids as well is criminal.
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Old 15th January 2018, 3:20 PM   #18
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Leave your abusive partner, cut ties with the OM and get learn to live on your own for a long while. Work towards a point where you are independent and need no man to support you.


Get into counseling and learn about setting boundaries for yourself, which include not cheating on an SO.


Then, a few years down the road when you are stable and more mature you can find a good man who will love you and your kids and be the kind of partner you deserve.


But you have a lot of work to do on yourself first.
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Old 16th January 2018, 6:02 PM   #19
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Has he ever hit the kids?

If so why are you still with him. Stay with someone that hits you is bad enough. Staying with someone that hits your kids as well is criminal.
If he does hit the kids, I wonder if she's aware that she could be charged for failing to keep them safe if anything were to happen??
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Old 21st January 2018, 1:28 PM   #20
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My partner has never ever abused my children. Thursday night (my friday, I am 3rd shift) AP came up in my work area and yelled at me in front of people. 2 people witnessed this. The past 2 weeks I have changed my break area(where I go smoke) , I go to a different preshift meeting room to avoid him, I make absolutely no eye contact and refuse to look at him. After this past friday when he yelled at me in front of people. One of them went to a supervisor and then we were all called indivisually into a office with 2 supervisors and a union stewart. I was asked what I want done, and I said, I just want to be left alone and do my job. I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble and I dont want any drama, I just want him to back off and get out of my life. I was once told in the past that I am a magnet for sociopathic people because I am highly empathetic... But anyways I will be going to a counceling in March.

Previous AP scares me to be honest, He has said things in the past that now when I think about it really just come off as... Well Something isnt right.

I know in my heart that the majority of work I need to do is on myself.

Some warning bells , at least to me they feel as warning bells about AP : He was overweight in school and teased very bad for it, But I will hear him call overweight people Fat A**'s now. How can you say that about another human being, as you lived it? That shows extreme lack of empathy to me. He would sometimes look at me, staring intensely actually, And when I would be like, What? He would say stuff like Oh I just like looking at beautiful *things*. He mirror'ed what I would say later down the road a lot. He talked about wanting me to *come home* (his home) when I only knew him about a month. He gave me a key to his house once at work and said I have a countdown of days to make my decision on him or my SO( I had already tryed to break it off with him i think 4 times then...) I told him I didnt want key to his house so his reply to me was "Just throw it in the trash then".

Last edited by lilbo; 21st January 2018 at 2:04 PM..
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Old 31st January 2018, 2:27 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilbo View Post
My partner has never ever abused my children. Thursday night (my friday, I am 3rd shift) AP came up in my work area and yelled at me in front of people. 2 people witnessed this. The past 2 weeks I have changed my break area(where I go smoke) , I go to a different preshift meeting room to avoid him, I make absolutely no eye contact and refuse to look at him. After this past friday when he yelled at me in front of people. One of them went to a supervisor and then we were all called indivisually into a office with 2 supervisors and a union stewart. I was asked what I want done, and I said, I just want to be left alone and do my job. I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble and I dont want any drama, I just want him to back off and get out of my life. I was once told in the past that I am a magnet for sociopathic people because I am highly empathetic... But anyways I will be going to a counceling in March.

Previous AP scares me to be honest, He has said things in the past that now when I think about it really just come off as... Well Something isnt right.

I know in my heart that the majority of work I need to do is on myself.

Some warning bells , at least to me they feel as warning bells about AP : He was overweight in school and teased very bad for it, But I will hear him call overweight people Fat A**'s now. How can you say that about another human being, as you lived it? That shows extreme lack of empathy to me. He would sometimes look at me, staring intensely actually, And when I would be like, What? He would say stuff like Oh I just like looking at beautiful *things*. He mirror'ed what I would say later down the road a lot. He talked about wanting me to *come home* (his home) when I only knew him about a month. He gave me a key to his house once at work and said I have a countdown of days to make my decision on him or my SO( I had already tryed to break it off with him i think 4 times then...) I told him I didnt want key to his house so his reply to me was "Just throw it in the trash then".
I think your current SO is far scarier than your AP.

Sorry, but pointing a loaded shotgun at you proves he hasn't changed.

I'm glad you've decided not to marry or have a third child with him now.
This is just his way of tying you to the relationship because he feels desperate in the aftermath.
I think it will soon flip to him punishing you for hurting him.

Even if he has never physically hurt your children, your children are highly affected.
If you can't think of yourself, think of them and work on leaving both men behind.
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Old 11th March 2018, 11:07 PM   #22
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Just want to say that I think you should GTFO.

I've known women that stay with abusers...and the men never change. Frankly, neither of the men you described sound like safe people to be with. I'd say take your kids and go. Get a restraining order on your partner. Get out while you can, and do whatever you have to do to protect yourself and your kids...
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