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My love of 5 years dropped a bomb on me!!


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 14th December 2017, 10:12 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by Jdoublenn View Post
Dude what the F*CK. Shes a trainwreck, I agree with others.

Pain is NO excuse to pull this BS and i'm glad you're getting out. I'm sorry you're going through this but trust me, you are better off. She needs help and you don't deserve to ride that 'coaster with her.
Yeah it is bananas. She was also sending bait texts like: "Do you hate me?" "How are you" "I love you very much, hope you are doing ok." Etc. I, of course, kept it cordial in short. As soon as I move out this weekend, I need to cut contact. She is a mess and needs to experience the consequence of what she has concocted.
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Old 14th December 2017, 10:15 AM   #17
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Bear in mind...

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Originally Posted by tvpartytonight View Post
Yeah it is bananas. She was also sending bait texts like: "Do you hate me?" "How are you" "I love you very much, hope you are doing ok." Etc. I, of course, kept it cordial in short. As soon as I move out this weekend, I need to cut contact. She is a mess and needs to experience the consequence of what she has concocted.
Bear in mind... That after this goes south for her, and it will, she may well try to come back to you.

Do not let her. Get your stuff worked out and ghost her, and never look back...
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Old 14th December 2017, 1:35 PM   #18
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Bear in mind... That after this goes south for her, and it will, she may well try to come back to you.

Do not let her. Get your stuff worked out and ghost her, and never look back...
If he goes hard NC, she will definitely contact him because this thing with the bar tender is guaranteed to go south.
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Old 15th December 2017, 6:31 PM   #19
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Move out day is tomorrow. Today she called me, I suppose to gather some closure for herself. Told me she was "happy" now and that she was sorry for what she put me through. That she was confused for a long time but not until she met this guy, was it clear for her. I kept calm and just listened. I felt it was the bigger thing to do instead of trying to call her out on every messed up detail and create a fight. I told her it made me feel used and that if she was feeling like she wasn't in it...then she should of just let me go a long time ago instead of dragging me through hell with her. It's great she feels like she found clarity and happiness and claims she is not in a rebound and that it is real...but, whatever, the damage is done. It made me feel like discarded trash. I feel like I was a rag doll for her while she figured out what she wanted out of life. Cruddy.
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Old 15th December 2017, 7:42 PM   #20
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No contact means no contact

You should quit hanging on
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Old 15th December 2017, 8:01 PM   #21
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No contact means no contact

You should quit hanging on
I'm not. I couldn't go no contact until after the move out and we never had a chance to even have a talk about it all...even though what she did was crappy. I guess I just needed to hear it from her when she was sober.
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Old 15th December 2017, 8:09 PM   #22
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BluesPower is right on the money when he said you canít fix crazy no matter how much you love a woman. Itís sad but true. If you love someone you want to help them. If they have lost it you canít.

Although I got zero details as to why my ex left, something snapped in her that I couldnít fix.

Along with what everyone else has said, I think she is telling you about this guy to hurt you like she is hurting now. She doesnít love you and didnít the minute she entertained cheating on you.

I used to postulate all these imaginary conditions that my ex would have to meet for me to take her back. They wonít do any of it. And the fact is if they will come back you probably donít want to take them. How could you ever trust her again?

It sucks but best thing to do is move on. You have some rough days ahead and I feel for you brother. No one deserves this crap.
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Old 18th December 2017, 2:54 AM   #23
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CRAZY UPDATE PT2!! I friend sent me a screenshot of her instagram post announcing she was marrying this guy in a couple weeks. Mind-blown. Insane.
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Old 18th December 2017, 6:19 AM   #24
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I take it back. I disagreed with bluespower earlier, but she could very well be undiagnosed bipolar. This sounds an awful lot like mania. I'm sorry you're going through it
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Old 18th December 2017, 7:11 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by tvpartytonight View Post
CRAZY UPDATE PT2!! I friend sent me a screenshot of her instagram post announcing she was marrying this guy in a couple weeks. Mind-blown. Insane.


She's mentally deranged. Seriously. This bartender guy did you a favor by taking a bat**** crazy woman off your hands.


You dodged a bullet. Now go find a woman of integrity to settle down with.
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Old 18th December 2017, 7:29 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by tvpartytonight View Post
CRAZY UPDATE PT2!! I friend sent me a screenshot of her instagram post announcing she was marrying this guy in a couple weeks. Mind-blown. Insane.
The bad news is he married a woman who will cheat on him. The good news is you didnít.

For your own sake, eliminate her from your life, social media, and block her number.

Sheíll wake up one day and say ďWTF did I doĒ and move on to another guyís crotch.

She sounds like a real POS and you are lucky youíre no longer with her.
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Old 19th December 2017, 12:14 AM   #27
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My ex fiancť is Bipolar type 1 she seems to be displaying manic behavior. RUN. Like your arse is on fire. You canít save her only she can do that.
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Old 19th December 2017, 12:48 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by marky00 View Post
She is basically a train wreck.

The pain she felt from the loss of her father has given her a "I don't care about anyone attitude".

She doesn't really love this bar manager jerk (she may be infatuated with him). It's just that he is the perfect mirror right now for her broken state. Deep down she knows she has major issues so she is looking for someone who matches her mindset (i.e. the bar manager).

She only wants light-hearted stuff. Being in a normal relationship where people talk about serious issues etc is just too much for her right now.

Walk away. And let her lie in the bed she made for herself.
I donít completely agree with this. She very well could be in love with the POS.

She has chosen a path of destruction, there is nothing you can do.
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Old 19th December 2017, 12:49 AM   #29
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First off, I am sorry for what you are going through. Secondly, what I am about to type is going to come across as harsh, but it's meant for tough love.

I know you are grieving, you have every right to. But at what expense? She is running you ragged, running you out of YOUR home. If you should do one thing, is keep your dignity, not hold onto the possibility of reconciliation. Another man has been inside her over and over again. Let that sink in.

As other's have stated, your job is not to fix her. She needs copious amounts of help from the mental health and substance abuse community.

My guess is that this has been going on for longer then you think. Get tested for STD's. I know you are upset, but YOU come first, right now her mental state and whatever bonehead thing she decides to do is not your problem.

Always remember that you are # 1, not her.
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Old 19th December 2017, 12:49 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by tvpartytonight View Post
Thanks guys! It's nice to hear some healthy point of views. I think I am just in a pure state of shock. That is how fast it happened.

I had went back on our texts like 3-4 days before this went down and she was like: "I'm not inching away from you. I love you. You are my man. I only want to be with you. No one can steal me away from you" etc etc.!!

And of course, the way she did me...right after that is utterly mind blowing! I don't think she has had a sober/alone day to really assess everything since this happened. Today, I found out that she may be moving in with him!!! Just...speechless.
Doesnít surprise me at all.
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