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I'm in an affair and she's demanding more from me.

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Old 26th October 2017, 10:01 AM   #1
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I'm in an affair and she's demanding more from me.

Hiya. Joined here since I don't know where else to post.

I am 44, and have a 13-year-old daughter. Since last December, I've been seeing this 23-year-old glamor model who I met at a McDonald's (she's well-known online, and has a large social media following), and she's been with her boyfriend for 18 months now.

As for my job... work in middle management, but this woman has more money than me, so she's not with me for the money.

I've seen her Instagram photos... her boyfriend is also a model too, poses shirtless or with his six-pack showing and loads of officialcouple hashtags.

She's told me she's bored with her Wentworth Miller lookalike boyfriend and is leaving him soon, and is demanding more from me. She wants to be stepmom to my daughter (who she's never met, but knows of) and has bought my daughter some underwear and some Doritos.

My OW is demanding I make my wife leave so she can move in and wants to be in my life more and more.

I do love my wife (she's 43), or did, until she became obsessed with Goth subculture and wanting to move to Manhattan from here in SoCal.

She also owes around $45k to the IRS but won't pay it because she doesn't like Trump.

Me and my wife have argued over a lot of things, mostly inconsequential, not serious things like finances. She's also been very demanding about how we have sex and refuses to wash her underwear, leaves dirty underwear around the house and hates my houseproud attitude.

She's also started watching CNN and become obsessive over food, demanding I get her plenty of Chinese takeouts and burgers to eat whilst watching Grey's Anatomy for hours on end from a Kodi box. She just sits in her underwear when doing this.

I've tried to be dutiful to her since this behavior, but it's like she cut me out of her life, this has been going on since last August, and she once said "I don't wanna divorce ya, but I need to stay married to you for the money, I love you, that's true, but I won't have sex with you until you're obese like I'll be. Obese sex is funky, according to someone online."

She's also shown bizarre behavior such as signing up to Wikipedia just to make legal threats to users on talk pages and Wikipedia caused a rift in our relationship in 2006 when she was obsessive about moving pages to "Pagename ON WHEELS!!" as a joke.

My wife hates the idea of us getting counseling.

I probably ****ed up real bad, having this affair, but equally, my wife hated any attempt for me to try and rebuild it.

She hated me going the gym, accused me of having an affair with my personal trainer (despite the fact it's a guy) and wanted to throw my gym gear out (this was in November 2015).


My OW wants to leave her boyfriend and insists I divorce my wife, but equally, I WANT TO be a good dad to my daughter, we already have a good dad-daughter relationship.

I feel like I've got conflict everywhere; OW demanding more and more from me, wife obsessive over food and obesity and Wikipedia, and daughter obsessed with studying at an unhealthy level, plus the IRS unpaid taxes.

I'm in a self-made hell, how do I get out from this and come out the other side?
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Old 26th October 2017, 10:17 AM   #2
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I think you should divorce your wife and let her move to NY. Marry your 23 year old and move on with your life.
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Old 26th October 2017, 10:23 AM   #3
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Wow, so much to unpack here.

First things first....what kind of Doritos?
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Old 26th October 2017, 10:38 AM   #4
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Wow ....

The only thing my head can cope with after reading all this is ....

.... is this post for real?
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Old 26th October 2017, 11:30 AM   #5
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This is like saying:

My friend and I robbed a bank, and now my friend wants a bigger cut - no fair!

If you ask your wife what to do, she might be able to give you some clarity.
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Old 26th October 2017, 12:21 PM   #6
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Wow...that is one super dysfunctional situation you got going on. Whatever you do, don't divorce the wife for the model...the model will not be there long. You need to try and help your wife and work on your marriage.
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Old 26th October 2017, 12:28 PM   #7
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Oh, the troubles we get ourselves into...

IF this post is for real, I am playing the world's tiniest violin for you...

Another who thinks you should talk to your wife. She should know exactly what to do.
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Old 26th October 2017, 1:49 PM   #8
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Hi view, My suggestion would be divorce your wife, get full custody of your daughter and drop the model cold turkey as they say. After that stay single for a few years till your daughter is an adult and then look for another partner. Good luck.
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Old 26th October 2017, 5:29 PM   #9
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Sounds to me like you made your own hell. Start by reading "How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair" and "Not Just Friends." I guarantee you will have a clearer picture after this.
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Old 26th October 2017, 5:55 PM   #10
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If this is a real post.....

My question would be was your wife's behavior change gradual or all of a sudden.
For someone to have this big of a change makes me wonder if there might be something medical going on. Her behavior just seems very odd.
I don’t want there to be things you “love about me”, I want you to love “all of me
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Old 26th October 2017, 6:08 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Sunshinechica View Post
If this is a real post.....

My question would be was your wife's behavior change gradual or all of a sudden.
For someone to have this big of a change makes me wonder if there might be something medical going on. Her behavior just seems very odd.
Or she found out about the OP sleeping the 23 yo model...
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