I4givehim Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 It has been 3 months. I have kicked my H out. I am going for a divorce. WHY IS THE OW HARASSING ME???? I don't want him but he won't go to her. Why bother me? She keeps sending me pictures of him and her together, gifts he gave her and love letters he sent her. She hacked my facebook account. Just leave me alone. How do I get her stop???? Link to post Share on other sites
Winterina Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Hacking a FB account is invasion into privacy and is punishable by law. Go to police and report this if you are sure she did it. Explain the situation shortly and say you just want her to stop harassing you. Try and put your case in 2 min explanation and do not show any distress, you are more likely to get help if you appear composed and if you don't try to make it sound like the most important case that they have to deal with. Police is pretty callous to these things so you have to talk their language, which is that law has been broken, you are a subject of constant harassment and you want it to stop. Police will most likely send her a warning which should be enough to make her stop. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Document, document, document. Everything. Next, go to a lawyer and have a Cease and Desist letter drawn up immediately and sent to her sorry ass. Is she THAT freakin' pitiful that she somehow thinks harassing you is going to win her back her 'prize?' Imbecile. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Block her on social media and deactivate your FB account. Keep evidence of what she sends you. If it were me, I'd be contacting her family and telling them about the affair and her subsequent harassment. If they have any morals , they'll try and get her to stop out of shame. I think she's doing this as revenge on your H for not going to her and to ensure you never get back with him. Forward all the stuff to your H as well. For any future relationship he gets into, he is now aware of the danger of bringing a third party into marriage. He'll also hopefully get it into his head that you can't reconcile , as it's HIS FAULT this crazy woman won't leave you alone. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 She's probably thinking that your H not going to her is your fault and made you the subject of her hatred. Go to the Police and do it calmly like you have been told. Get a lawyer if possible, and if the hacking and accessing has been done from where she works, inform her employer ... since they are liable. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Ignore her. That's really the only thing you can do. The police won't care that she's sending you stuff. They "might" care that she hacked your fb account, but it's hard to prove that. I tried the police route with my ex's psycho OW too and they didn't really care. They pointed me to family court, but family court doesn't care about someone who isn't a parent to the child. My point is, your best defense at this point is to block and ignore her as best as you can. Your only other response is to point blank tell her that you don't care about her relationship with your ex, that you kicked him out and it's not your problem that he doesn't want to be with her either. Document that you've told her to leave you alone. Document all of it just in case she continues to harass you. It's only been 3 months. That may seem like a very long time to you, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not very long. If she finds that she can't get to you, she may stop. It's hard to say. It's been 1.5 years since I kicked my ex out and his OW STILL finds a way to be a pain in my behind any chance she gets but it's nowhere near as bad as it was. Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 It's only been 3 months. That may seem like a very long time to you, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not very long. If she finds that she can't get to you, she may stop. It's hard to say. It's been 1.5 years since I kicked my ex out and his OW STILL finds a way to be a pain in my behind any chance she gets but it's nowhere near as bad as it was. I agree. Some people take it hard when they lose at love, and it takes them a long time to get over it. My H's xW has still not moved on after almost a decade, and takes every opportunity to hassle or harass us. Keep detailed records of any contact, in case she does anything illegal, so that you have evidence for successful prosecution. Chances are, she's only interested in you as a means to get to / at him, and once she sees that that is futile, she'll transfer her attention elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 It has been 3 months. I have kicked my H out. I am going for a divorce. WHY IS THE OW HARASSING ME???? I don't want him but he won't go to her. Why bother me? She keeps sending me pictures of him and her together, gifts he gave her and love letters he sent her. She hacked my facebook account. Just leave me alone. How do I get her stop???? Fact that she hacked into your facebook, that IS illegal, do go to your local police station, at least get the paper work started on what has happened so far. In the meantime, close down that account, create a new one (use your middle name or change up your last name, don't post a photo of yourself either), and do block her on the new account. She obviously thinks that you won't let your (ex) H go to her. Hope that she goes away soon, but if she continues to harass you, let her know ONCE that her contact is unwanted and if she continues to reach out to you, she'll find the police at her doorstep with an RO. Maybe a threat will make her stop! You could also tell her that you and your H are divorcing and you want nothing to do with him, and that she can gladly take him off your hands for good. Or, just ignore her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 It has been 3 months. I have kicked my H out. I am going for a divorce. WHY IS THE OW HARASSING ME???? I don't want him but he won't go to her. Why bother me? She keeps sending me pictures of him and her together, gifts he gave her and love letters he sent her. She hacked my facebook account. Just leave me alone. How do I get her stop???? I assume the FB hack was a one-time thing since you've since changed your password (right?) ....or is she some kind of actual hacker? Anyway she's just pissing on the bushes and trying to mark what she perceives to be her territory/property. I agree with just ignoring her, she'll get tired of it and go away after a while. Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Go on a date with a handsome guy. Take a picture. Send it to her and say "This is James, unless you have pictures of you and James together, you are wasting your time. Since you enjoy my garbage, you are more than welcome to it. Peace" 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Furious Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 It has been 3 months. I have kicked my H out. I am going for a divorce. WHY IS THE OW HARASSING ME???? I don't want him but he won't go to her. Why bother me? She keeps sending me pictures of him and her together, gifts he gave her and love letters he sent her. She hacked my facebook account. Just leave me alone. How do I get her stop???? It's common that WS's paint their spouse in a negative light. Also, it's common that affair partners see the spouse as a roadblock in their quest to be with their "soulmate". You're experiencing the fallout of two individuals who triangulated an affair that you unknowingly were included in. The only thing you can do at this point is to protect your well being and exercise it through legal avenues that protect you from stalking and harassment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Susmay Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 (edited) Hacking a FB account is invasion into privacy and is punishable by law. Go to police and report this if you are sure she did it. Explain the situation shortly and say you just want her to stop harassing you. Try and put your case in 2 min explanation and do not show any distress, you are more likely to get help if you appear composed and if you don't try to make it sound like the most important case that they have to deal with. Police is pretty callous to these things so you have to talk their language, which is that law has been broken, you are a subject of constant harassment and you want it to stop. Police will most likely send her a warning which should be enough to make her stop. Really! Hacking F/B is some sort of crime or illegal? Which law in particular and in which jurisdiction? The police only look at "crimes" not civil law, so I doubt it's as easy as you seem to think. Maybe they'll be interested in harassment, but not Facebook hacking! Edited June 22, 2015 by Susmay Link to post Share on other sites
bobwhite007 Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 It may sound kinda trailer Parkish but just kick her dad blame ass Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Really! Hacking F/B is some sort of crime or illegal? Which law in particular and in which jurisdiction? The police only look at "crimes" not civil law, so I doubt it's as easy as you seem to think. Maybe they'll be interested in harassment, but not Facebook hacking! It can fall under stalking, invasion of privacy, cyber stalking, cyber harassment, harassment. Fortunately, the law is starting to catch up with technology. There is never a justifiable reason for a person who is not a suspicious spouse with good solid reason to EVER touch another person's technology or privacy....ever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 (edited) Really! Hacking F/B is some sort of crime or illegal? Which law in particular and in which jurisdiction? The police only look at "crimes" not civil law, so I doubt it's as easy as you seem to think. Maybe they'll be interested in harassment, but not Facebook hacking! Depending on the country, it has various shades of illegality. Enforcement of it, is another matter altogether. It can be identity theft, to attacking the secret of corespondence, invasion of privacy, harassment ... etc. The first 2 are the big ones if you can prove them, they are pretty serious in certain countries. At least in mine, identity theft is taken very seriously ... if you also had work relations on FB, it's even worse. Even a woman [who will historically get very little in the way of sentences] can end up doing time. Even with something as low-key as harassment, if you complain to the Police they will get the other party in to give a statement and lock them into a story as a warning. And if they were stupid enough to make a death threat that can be tracked to them, you are looking at doing some time. It's very important to know the laws and customs of the area you are in. Edited June 22, 2015 by Radu 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Susmay Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Depending on the country, it has various shades of illegality. Enforcement of it, is another matter altogether. It can be identity theft, to attacking the secret of corespondence, invasion of privacy, harassment ... etc. The first 2 are the big ones if you can prove them, they are pretty serious in certain countries. At least in mine, identity theft is taken very seriously ... if you also had work relations on FB, it's even worse. Even a woman [who will historically get very little in the way of sentences] can end up doing time. Even with something as low-key as harassment, if you complain to the Police they will get the other party in to give a statement and lock them into a story as a warning. And if they were stupid enough to make a death threat that can be tracked to them, you are looking at doing some time. It's very important to know the laws and customs of the area you are in. It is not the hacking into the F/B or other account that is the crime or offence, it is what one DOES with it. Eg fraud (by pretending to be someone else), harassment, blackmail, making death or other threats, stalking etc. I'm not convinced invasion of privacy is automatically an offence, again it is what you actually do, apart from hacking into the account. Link to post Share on other sites
Lurkeraspect Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 It is not the hacking into the F/B or other account that is the crime or offence, it is what one DOES with it. Eg fraud (by pretending to be someone else), harassment, blackmail, making death or other threats, stalking etc. I'm not convinced invasion of privacy is automatically an offence, again it is what you actually do, apart from hacking into the account. Perhaps I missed it, but I didn't see that. OP, facebook has wonderful blocking options. Works as advertised as I've used them. Then lock your social media down. Not hard, not difficult. Just not that difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 It is not the hacking into the F/B or other account that is the crime or offence, it is what one DOES with it. Eg fraud (by pretending to be someone else), harassment, blackmail, making death or other threats, stalking etc. I'm not convinced invasion of privacy is automatically an offence, again it is what you actually do, apart from hacking into the account. Exactly, which is why the OP needs to get some lawyer help. Depending on what she did to get into the account or what she did on the account, and in regards to the law of the state/country ... it could mean jail time for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Hacking your fb account once might be a criminal offence, as others have said... it depends on where you live and what the laws are and whether you can prove it or not. The real issue here is that she has access to you. You need to block all of her access to you as much as you can. That's really the only thing you can do. If you've taken the necessary precautions to keep her from contacting you and she still persists or takes it to the next level THEN you have a reason to take it to the police. I will tell you though that the first question they will ask you (at least where I live anyway) is "Did you make it clear to her that you don't wish any further contact?" and the next will be "What did you do to block her access to you?" She can't text you if she doesn't know your number, she can't access your fb if she doesn't know what it is (change your account, use a different last name, block her). Those are simple things you can do. While a pain in the rear to do, it's your first step in keeping her at bay. How is she sending you pictures and such? Unless she's sending it to you via snail mail, it's pretty easy to block her ability to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I4givehim Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 Hacking your fb account once might be a criminal offence, as others have said... it depends on where you live and what the laws are and whether you can prove it or not. The real issue here is that she has access to you. You need to block all of her access to you as much as you can. That's really the only thing you can do. If you've taken the necessary precautions to keep her from contacting you and she still persists or takes it to the next level THEN you have a reason to take it to the police. I will tell you though that the first question they will ask you (at least where I live anyway) is "Did you make it clear to her that you don't wish any further contact?" and the next will be "What did you do to block her access to you?" She can't text you if she doesn't know your number, she can't access your fb if she doesn't know what it is (change your account, use a different last name, block her). Those are simple things you can do. While a pain in the rear to do, it's your first step in keeping her at bay. How is she sending you pictures and such? Unless she's sending it to you via snail mail, it's pretty easy to block her ability to do so. She sent information of the affair through facebook. After D-Day she sent me pic, love letters ect.... I informed her it is better we do NOT contact each other because all we are doing is hurting each other with the information we are sharing. I have blocked her but she is using a different name to access me. The sad part is that I lived by my vows my H and OW did not but I'm the one being harassed. This all amazes me. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 She sent information of the affair through facebook. After D-Day she sent me pic, love letters ect.... I informed her it is better we do NOT contact each other because all we are doing is hurting each other with the information we are sharing. I have blocked her but she is using a different name to access me. The sad part is that I lived by my vows my H and OW did not but I'm the one being harassed. This all amazes me. It's people with no morals. Just keep blocking her and change your settings to not allow friend requests or to accept messages for a few months. The joys of a third party in your marriage just never end. Doesn't she realise she was just an extra. Even more so because he dumped her before you found out. I think she was pressuring for more and he got fed up and kicked her to the curb. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 2.5 years past dday here and our OW still intrudes- Since dday she has: overdosed on tylenol and had an organ transplant lost her house to foreclosure had her husband expose her and her many affairs to their whole community we have: called police tried legal action tried being nice tried being mean ignored blocked But she is still at it- we get free magazines sent to our house with her first name and our last name, we get free email subscriptions for things like divorce counseling and how to please your man-you name it- we have received it- They say every storm runs out of rain- still waiting on that- hang in there and try to not let it bother you- hard to do, but really- in the end thats all you can do- Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Grab your STBXH by the ears and let him handle it. Geez, if folks at least didn't pick the crazy for their affairs... Link to post Share on other sites
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