What would you on DDay or a few days after DDay?

[ItWillPass]

Just wondering for those BS what will be your reaction and behaviors on DDay or one or two days after the Dday. Will you still be able to go to work or go on facebook post or like different page?

[underwater2010]

Yep....I went to work that night. It was tough, but I put on a great act. Also, went on facebook. But I will admit that it took everything NOT to post anything about it.

[Friskyone4u]

I would hope that your major concern on DDay would be something other than Facebook. I am just guessing you must be very young and not have too many responsibilities if something as silly as Facebook is primary n your thoughts .

If you are an adult, how about some of the following

Get an attorney

Get a timeline of what happened

Decide what you need to consider R

Are kids involved

How do you begin to heal

Do you stay or go

 

The above might be a little more important than Facebook

[ItWillPass]

I totally agree with you. The reason I am asking is because I think xMM ( Which I broke it off after I found out he was married) is lying about DDay. He told me he had a DDay this Monday. he is traveling and his wife found concrete evidence on Monday that he was having an affair me (I was blindsided and broke up with him) and called him to call him out.

 

Then he texted me about it. I don't why he let me know about that he had a DDay. Somehow I don't believe there was a DDay. Out of curious I checked his wife 's facebook. The setting is private but I can still see her recent activities. Obviously on Tuesday, one day after DDay, She was on facebook and liked different pages of some celebrities.

 

If MM lied about DDay I wonder why. If he didn't, I am curious how can his wife still have time or engery to go on facebook to like pages of celebrities.

[Friskyone4u]

You made the right decision to break it off when you found out he was married. Why don't you just leave it at that and put it in your past.

You have no future in that relationship so why waste your time?

[ItWillPass]

If there was indeed a DDday, why he texted me about it cause it is over between us awhile ago.

 

If there wasn't a DDady why he faked one, what is the purpose of doing that.

[snappytomcat]

I can tell you when I had my dday,I never posted anything about it on facebook,this was a private matter,not something to scream to the whole world

[ItWillPass]

I can tell you when I had my dday,I never posted anything about it on facebook,this was a private matter,not something to scream to the whole world

 

thanks for sharing. She didn't post anything about it. I just found from her recent activities section of the facbook shows she liked pages of two celebrities the Day after the DDAY. Not sure if it is a normal behavior after a DDAY.That;s why i feel xMM is lying about the DDAY, but don't know why he would do that.

[whichwayisup]

I totally agree with you. The reason I am asking is because I think xMM ( Which I broke it off after I found out he was married) is lying about DDay. He told me he had a DDay this Monday. he is traveling and his wife found concrete evidence on Monday that he was having an affair me (I was blindsided and broke up with him) and called him to call him out.

 

Then he texted me about it. I don't why he let me know about that he had a DDay. Somehow I don't believe there was a DDay. Out of curious I checked his wife 's facebook. The setting is private but I can still see her recent activities. Obviously on Tuesday, one day after DDay, She was on facebook and liked different pages of some celebrities.

 

If MM lied about DDay I wonder why. If he didn't, I am curious how can his wife still have time or engery to go on facebook to like pages of celebrities.

How is her going on facebook for a few minutes here and there prove to you that there was or wasn't a Dday? Maybe she needed the distraction, preferred computer to the TV.

 

Do yourself a favour though, stop lurking her facebook page, it'll become a habit and since you and MM are broken up, why look up on what she is doing online? That will just make you focus on him (them/her) and not on letting go.

[whichwayisup]

thanks for sharing. She didn't post anything about it. I just found from her recent activities section of the facbook shows she liked pages of two celebrities the Day after the DDAY. Not sure if it is a normal behavior after a DDAY.That;s why i feel xMM is lying about the DDAY, but don't know why he would do that.

 

Someone I know recently lost a parent due to death. The day after she found out, she was on facebook commenting on a friends photo and also she gave me coins to one of the games I play. Didn't even go through my mind 'what is she doing on fb since one of her parents just passed away'...

 

Try not to assume anything or read into why his wife was on facebook.

[StrongHusband]

In my case, I filed for leave for the remaining of the week. Moved to my parents so WW can pay for all our expenses in the apartment.

 

I moved out to prevent myself from doing harm to her. More of an advantage for me.

 

The shock, disbelief, mixed emotions from that day could easily take over my senses making me do things I could regret when I am back to normal.

[ItWillPass]

How is her going on facebook for a few minutes here and there prove to you that there was or wasn't a Dday? Maybe she needed the distraction, preferred computer to the TV.

 

Do yourself a favour though, stop lurking her facebook page, it'll become a habit and since you and MM are broken up, why look up on what she is doing online? That will just make you focus on him (them/her) and not on letting go.

 

thanks. I still have feeling for him, but i know I did the right thing to break things off with him. I was brought up in a family where being the other woman is a disgrace and not allowed.

 

I admitted I still go on her facebook occasionally after the breakup. It's like an addiction. It is bad but just not that easy to get rid of

[ItWillPass]

Someone I know recently lost a parent due to death. The day after she found out, she was on facebook commenting on a friends photo and also she gave me coins to one of the games I play. Didn't even go through my mind 'what is she doing on fb since one of her parents just passed away'...

 

Try not to assume anything or read into why his wife was on facebook.

 

Thanks for your reply. I guess you are right. Maybe she needed the distraction.

[ItWillPass]

In my case, I filed for leave for the remaining of the week. Moved to my parents so WW can pay for all our expenses in the apartment.

 

I moved out to prevent myself from doing harm to her. More of an advantage for me.

 

The shock, disbelief, mixed emotions from that day could easily take over my senses making me do things I could regret when I am back to normal.

 

So sorry for what happened to you. I can't imagine how devastated u must feel. Did you get back together?

[jnel921]

I was at work when the OW decided to call me and spill the beans. It was tougher when I got home. My kids were there and my H and I had to leave the house to have that talk. He was a mess and so was I. A few days later I had to fly out as I was participating in a 3 day cancer walk. 20 miles each day. Had a lot of time to think about what happened and how to handle. It was tough because I camped out with my best friend and never told her what had happened. I did a lot of crying on those nights. Asked god to give me strength.

 

Kept the story to myself. Didn't want to talk about it. Didn't want to share, didn't want anyone to judge or comment. It was between me and him. Always will be.

[ItWillPass]

I was at work when the OW decided to call me and spill the beans. It was tougher when I got home. My kids were there and my H and I had to leave the house to have that talk. He was a mess and so was I. A few days later I had to fly out as I was participating in a 3 day cancer walk. 20 miles each day. Had a lot of time to think about what happened and how to handle. It was tough because I camped out with my best friend and never told her what had happened. I did a lot of crying on those nights. Asked god to give me strength.

 

Kept the story to myself. Didn't want to talk about it. Didn't want to share, didn't want anyone to judge or comment. It was between me and him. Always will be.

 

Sorry for the pain you went through. You sounded like such a strong woman. I don't think I could do what you did if i were you.

[notserene]

I don't remember exactly what I did. OW was calling and texting at all hours (WH had ended it) and we were stuck in the house during a snow storm.

 

If people act "normal" they are probably in shock or just don't want to share their business with the outside world. I felt this terrible grief that I had to hold in once I left my house. If someone had died I would have at least felt like I could tell others. The grief that I felt when my husband confessed was mixed with shame and humiliation, as well as a tsunami of rage like I have never felt in my life.

[snappytomcat]

im sorry for your pain,but stay away from her facebook page,it does not help in your healing,take care of yourself,and good luck

[whichwayisup]

thanks. I still have feeling for him, but i know I did the right thing to break things off with him. I was brought up in a family where being the other woman is a disgrace and not allowed.

 

I admitted I still go on her facebook occasionally after the breakup. It's like an addiction. It is bad but just not that easy to get rid of

 

Try to go one hour, then two, then three hours without looking. Go one or two days without looking. You'll feel better. When you can, block her so you can't have access to her page. Or his (if he has an account.) All the stalking does is make you feel worse and keeps you interested in what is going on in their lives.

 

I'm glad you found it in you to end it. You would have been more hurt as time went on.

[Red123]

I don't remember exactly what I did. OW was calling and texting at all hours (WH had ended it) and we were stuck in the house during a snow storm.

 

If people act "normal" they are probably in shock or just don't want to share their business with the outside world. I felt this terrible grief that I had to hold in once I left my house. If someone had died I would have at least felt like I could tell others. The grief that I felt when my husband confessed was mixed with shame and humiliation, as well as a tsunami of rage like I have never felt in my life.

 

Wow. I have tried to put in words exactly how I felt after Dday and what you wrote is dead on. We didn't have the snow storm, if we did he may not have made it through:)

[tornapart2002]

thanks for sharing. She didn't post anything about it. I just found from her recent activities section of the facbook shows she liked pages of two celebrities the Day after the DDAY. Not sure if it is a normal behavior after a DDAY.That;s why i feel xMM is lying about the DDAY, but don't know why he would do that.

 

My husband lied to the sister of the MOW about DDay and told her it had already happened. It happened because the spineless ****head never confessed. I had to dig it out of him more than a month later.

 

I wouldn't expect anything on FB to tip you off and in my case I didn't put much up at all because the OW is a damn narcist who loves the freaking attention.

 

F*** that if she thinks I'm giving her any attention at all. She can shrivel up and die if that's what she's waiting for from me.

 

I know....I obviously need to go eat some chocolate or something.

[tornapart2002]

I don't remember exactly what I did. OW was calling and texting at all hours (WH had ended it) and we were stuck in the house during a snow storm.

 

If people act "normal" they are probably in shock or just don't want to share their business with the outside world. I felt this terrible grief that I had to hold in once I left my house. If someone had died I would have at least felt like I could tell others. The grief that I felt when my husband confessed was mixed with shame and humiliation, as well as a tsunami of rage like I have never felt in my life.

 

Damn. This is so right on in my situation too.

[jbelle6]

I totally agree with you. The reason I am asking is because I think xMM ( Which I broke it off after I found out he was married) is lying about DDay. He told me he had a DDay this Monday. he is traveling and his wife found concrete evidence on Monday that he was having an affair me (I was blindsided and broke up with him) and called him to call him out.

 

Then he texted me about it. I don't why he let me know about that he had a DDay. Somehow I don't believe there was a DDay. Out of curious I checked his wife 's facebook. The setting is private but I can still see her recent activities. Obviously on Tuesday, one day after DDay, She was on facebook and liked different pages of some celebrities.

 

If MM lied about DDay I wonder why. If he didn't, I am curious how can his wife still have time or engery to go on facebook to like pages of celebrities.

 

 

 

I guess everyone is different. When I am really upset, to the point where I can't think straight to even read, I will sometimes hop on my Facebook or Pinterest to look at mindless junk I don't really need to pay attention to. I do it when I am not sure what to do until I calm down and figure stuff out. Maybe I'm a weirdo lol.

[waterwoman]

I don't FB. Apart from that I was calm and icily normal. I went to work, tmed, laughed, worked as normal. Until lunch time when I had to go home to pick something up and I had a panic attack and couldn't leave my house. I took a weeks compassionate leave (thankyou my lovely lovely boss!!).

 

Prior to h's confession I had had 24 hrs of gaslighting and confusion so by the time I found out the facts I was exhausted and distraught.

[EverySunset]

My prince of a stbxh gaslighted me while on travel for about a month, then trickle-truthed me for weeks, then months... So our Dday aftermath is blurry. I shared with almost no one.

 

My childs school thought I was sick, and I was... I had picked something up and lost so much weight my gym asked if I was battling something serious like cancer - I dropped about 20% of my bodyweight. I was quiet and drawn... When I wasn't crying. Mostly in the shower so my kids didnt see, or at night when they were in bed. He went back out on travel and his reunions were, well, dissapointing.

 

I have no idea what I did afterwards. I was not on FB, tho. I think I tried to spend as much time as I could on playgrounds outdoors. When I found out more (my 2nd Dday, sortof... It was a year later) I was DONE. I didn't get sick that time or fall apart. I managed to pull myself together, and left.

 

Everyone is different. Forget him, focus on you, and move on.