Seriously?...

[Sooby]

I am came to this forum seeking splice and understanding and I found it. The responses I got to my intial post were amazing. I have it say though the more I read about what others have experienced with their partner ( read married or not because it doesn't matter to me personally) has really astounded me. I am now wondering why we try to be in these perhaps unsustainable monogamous relationships? Perhaps the human condition is not built for it in this new global readily attainable, even an affair on line world. What will my children's

I've s be like? Will they Continue to strive for the realtionships that those of us in this forum are hurting from or will they obtain a higher unederstanding?.

I read your stories and fell mine paleinto insignificance. Peace to you all.....

[experiencethedevine]

Modern society is filled with a plethora of easy ways to discard moral fortitude and seek the gratification of self service. Heaven knows what future our grandchildren's children will face............................

[compulsivedancer]

I used to think we'd get past monogamy...but just like our biology creates lots of urges that cause us to be tempted cheat, it also causes jealousy and possessive rage that make it hard to be with multiple people. Biology wants us to maintain a certain amount of monogamy. It's an annoying conundrum. I think that we're doomed to be "monogamish." The couples that can sustain polyamory or open relationships long-term seem to be few and far between.

[oldshirt]

a lot of social scientists believe our basic hardwiring is not for lifelong monogamy with one partner but rather polygamy (multiple partners) for men and hypergamy (latching on to the best they can get and then moving on to a better one if/when the opportunity arises) for women.

 

Or at the very least that both men and women are hardwired for serial monogamy.

 

Lifelong monogamy is unnatural not instinctive. It requires a conscious choice and commitment to enter into and then it takes a lot or work and a lot of sacrifice to maintain and even then will involve a certain degree of frustration and dissatisfaction.

 

Monogamy is a social construct and not a natural, instinctive process

[Spark1111]

a lot of social scientists believe our basic hardwiring is not for lifelong monogamy with one partner but rather polygamy (multiple partners) for men and hypergamy (latching on to the best they can get and then moving on to a better one if/when the opportunity arises) for women.

 

Or at the very least that both men and women are hardwired for serial monogamy.

 

Lifelong monogamy is unnatural not instinctive. It requires a conscious choice and commitment to enter into and then it takes a lot or work and a lot of sacrifice to maintain and even then will involve a certain degree of frustration and dissatisfaction.

 

Monogamy is a social construct and not a natural, instinctive process

 

this is all true.....

 

But search the CDC...a man alone is a pathetic creature...his mortality rate jumps 400% after divorce...When IN a monogamous relationship...he LIVES LONGER when cared for by ONE woman.

 

There IS NO corresponding statistic for a divorced or widowed or single woman. We do not need a male partner to achieve old age successfully...

 

...just saying.....

[oldshirt]

this is all true.....

 

But search the CDC...a man alone is a pathetic creature...his mortality rate jumps 400% after divorce...When IN a monogamous relationship...he LIVES LONGER when cared for by ONE woman.

 

There IS NO corresponding statistic for a divorced or widowed or single woman. We do not need a male partner to achieve old age successfully...

 

...just saying.....

 

I said monogamy was a conscious choice and not a natural instinct. I didn't say is was a bad choice or the wrong choice.

 

There are lots of logical and legitimate reasons for long term pair bonding. That's why so many people choose it over just letting their natural instincts run wild.