Found out about cheating in the workplace

[anks]

My husband when on a business/leisure trip to greece beginning of October, he came back for 5 days (working late all of a sudden), 5 days later he went again on another work trip with the same people, handing be a divorce settlement on return.

 

After a view draughts we signed the divorce settlement, I received my summons on Tuesday (with 10 working days to appeal). My hart was very sore and broken, but according to my husband it was mainly my fault. I am pharmacist working at a cancer treatment centre, working half day, driving and watching my 3 year old girl's activities, coming home and have a full cooked dinner every night when he comes home. I were a number 6 jean, with long blond hair, and an attractive lady looking after myself, my daughters education and activities, and bringing in half the money of the household. But when I was told that that was not enough, and he needs to find himself again, I tried to make peace. I received the summons of the cherrif's, I have 10 days to appeal, but thought it wasn't worth it.

 

This morning I found paperwork in his briefcase, informing him of a disciplinary hearing that is going to be hold against him for having an affair with a collegue (the same one he went away with to greece and the next trip.

 

I am so angry and hurt, I need to do something. I did no get anything out of the divorce only the stuff I bought before the wedding, I even have to leave my maritial home with my 3 year old daughter.

 

I tried to contact his company but no one wants to speak to me.

 

I feel that if he is having a affair with a collegue on sponsered trips they should be a part responsible and I want now to keep my house. Should I oppose the divorce? I only have 3 working days left

 

Is there anything I can do?

[will-ow]

I'm really sorry you've been hurt, but I honestly think the best thing you can do now for yourself and your daughter is try to put all this behind you and move on. I'm sorry if this seems cold, but why on earth would you want to contest the divorce and stay with a man like that?

 

You cannot hold your (ex)husband's employers in any way responsible for his affair - HE made the choices to cheat on and then leave you himself, no one else is to blame (unless you allocate yourself and the OW at least a little share of the responsibility...). It is completely inappropriate (and useless!) for you to be discussing your private affairs with anyone at his work.

 

You don't say where you live but you must be entitled to some level of alimony/childcare/support from your ex - don't let him get away without paying for his responsibilities.

[GreySkyMorning]

My husband when on a business/leisure trip to greece beginning of October, he came back for 5 days (working late all of a sudden), 5 days later he went again on another work trip with the same people, handing be a divorce settlement on return.

 

After a view draughts we signed the divorce settlement, I received my summons on Tuesday (with 10 working days to appeal). My hart was very sore and broken, but according to my husband it was mainly my fault. I am pharmacist working at a cancer treatment centre, working half day, driving and watching my 3 year old girl's activities, coming home and have a full cooked dinner every night when he comes home. I were a number 6 jean, with long blond hair, and an attractive lady looking after myself, my daughters education and activities, and bringing in half the money of the household. But when I was told that that was not enough, and he needs to find himself again, I tried to make peace. I received the summons of the cherrif's, I have 10 days to appeal, but thought it wasn't worth it.

 

This morning I found paperwork in his briefcase, informing him of a disciplinary hearing that is going to be hold against him for having an affair with a collegue (the same one he went away with to greece and the next trip.

 

I am so angry and hurt, I need to do something. I did no get anything out of the divorce only the stuff I bought before the wedding, I even have to leave my maritial home with my 3 year old daughter.

 

I tried to contact his company but no one wants to speak to me.

 

I feel that if he is having a affair with a collegue on sponsered trips they should be a part responsible and I want now to keep my house. Should I oppose the divorce? I only have 3 working days left

 

Is there anything I can do?

 

Yes. If it were me, I wouldn't be going anywhere. He gets to have an affair, destroy your family, and you have to take your baby and leave? Do you have an attorney? If you do, call him NOW. If you don't, get one today.

[Dark_history]

You need to get legal advise on this and quickly. Seeing how your husband has business trips, he must make a significant amount of money. Lawyers would be more than happy to help you in this situation

[bentleychic]

You need to get legal advise on this and quickly. Seeing how your husband has business trips, he must make a significant amount of money. Lawyers would be more than happy to help you in this situation

I agree. May I ask where you live? If you are in the U.S, many states have specific rules which will insure that you get some of the marital assets, as well as child support and possibly alimony (depending on how long you have been married, again, depending on state).

 

I agree that step one Monday morning should be contacting a lawyer. And make copies of those papers from his work, if you possibly can. Some places are no fault so it won't matter, but in some states, it does very much make a difference.

 

Good luck!

[tiredofitall2]

Expose the affair to everyone you can that can impact him in any way. Find out if the OW is married. If so expose to her H. Don't move anywhere! You have a 3 year old DD and he should be concerned about your DDs well being. Go NC (no-contact) on him.

 

Don't be a doormat. Take a stance and even though you are heart-broken get angry so that you can move on. Unfortunately for him his affair will soon enough prove to be a big mistake. only 1-3 out of every 100 men who leave their wives for their AP (affair partner) end up marrying or married for a long time. 75% end in divorce within the first couple of years.

 

Many return back sorry after their affair fog dissipates. Search the term affair fog.

[painfullyobvious]

From your post it sounds like this divorce has already happened is this correct? If not follow the advice of the above posters. If the divorce is finalized just let it all go.

 

The only thing I would tell you is do not let him convince you that the divorce was your fault. He wanted to cheat and he cheated. He is now looking back with the affair fog glasses and rewriting your relationship in his mind. When he snaps out of this in a few months and real life creeps in with the affair partner have the strength and support to not allow this person a second chance to cheat on you. Be there for your daughter and be amicable for family events.

 

I was cheated on and ended up marrying a pharmacist myself. It seems to be one of the occupations where beautiful intelligent women flock to. I doubt you will have too much trouble finding anyone once all of this garbage settles. Sorry you have to deal with this.

[whichwayisup]

You cannot hold your (ex)husband's employers in any way responsible for his affair - HE made the choices to cheat on and then leave you himself, no one else is to blame (unless you allocate yourself and the OW at least a little share of the responsibility...)

 

How is this the BS's fault? She didn't drive her husband to go have an affair, he did that by choice. He could have divorced her first instead of cheating. Also, the OW is partially responsible, she knew going in he was married. It takes two people to have an affair. The BS is 50% at fault for any issues in the marriage, but NOT at fault for her husband going outside of the marriage.

 

 

You don't say where you live but you must be entitled to some level of alimony/childcare/support from your ex - don't let him get away without paying for his responsibilities.

 

Agree with this 100%.