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husband cheated...now I'm dangerously close to screwing things up more


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 28th September 2013, 9:32 AM   #16
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Thank you! I will definitely look this up today.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliveagain View Post
Honesty is the only policy, your attempting to rebuild the damaged foundation that is your marriage, keeping secrets from each other is the same as attempting the repairs with faulty materials. You know it's going to fail again the next time it's challenged. Your counselor can't help you with key parts of the information missing, they are not there to judge you.

If you still believe your husband is withholding information from you, one of the best tools to help you get your need to know across to him is "Josephs Letter". It's a letter written by a betrayed husband to his wayward wife explaining his reasons for wanting to know everything that happened between her and her lover. Google search "Joseph's Letter" than just rewrite it with your necessary changes and address it to him and give it to him to read. It works. Regardless of his reasons for withholding the information from you your marriage will always include a third person until full disclosure is made. Accept nothing less then complete honesty.
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Old 28th September 2013, 4:07 PM   #17
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I am really feeling like crap today. I essentially was having an emotional affair with this person! It was short lived, but oh my word! What if it had been longer and what if I had met him in person for real. I would have been no "better" than my husband.

The difference is my husband's affair triggered this willingness to be open to another man, but what triggered my husband's willingness to open up to another woman?

THIs is all so messed up and I'm really feeling down today about talking to him. I've cut him off, but I feel guilty I even started talking to him and probably led him on. Wow. I hope he forgives me and starts talking to his wife. I hope something good comes of this and I am so glad it never went further. It does help me relate a little to my husband but I wonder if he feels the guilt I feel at all? :/
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