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I cheated on my husband with our best friend, can it ever work out?

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Old 22nd May 2004, 8:33 AM   #1
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I cheated on my husband with our best friend, can it ever work out?

I have been married for 6 years and have 4 kids. My husband and I have a great friendship, but I've always found it difficult to kiss him and feel intimate with him. Our first child was conceived 3 months into our courtship and marriage and more kids just followed. During our marriage I found myself attracted to our mutual friend, but never acted on it. Through the years I've tried to work on the marriage with my husband, but, he never wanted to.

Four months ago I kissed the friend and it felt amazing and we've been together ever since. I've moved out of my home and live with my parents. We share the kids and it seems to be ok. I told my husband about the kiss a month after it happened and have been very honest about everything ever since. I have loved the friend for 4 years and now I'm aware that he has loved me as well. I love my husband very much, but I feel like it's just as a really good friend and I love the new guy and can imagine spending the rest of my life with him, something that I couldn't picture with my husband.

It's all very confusing and my husband has sank into depression. He constantly makes me feel guilty and I already have enough guilt. What I have done goes againt everything I've believed in, but I don't think people really know what a person goes through in this situation unless you've been there. Does anyone think that a relationship with this friend could turn into a long term relationship? Why does something so wrong seem so right? I've known that my husband wasn't the one for me since we started dating. I never thought that when I asked him out, three months later we'd be pregnant and engaged. Help! I need to regain control of my uncontrollable life!
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Old 23rd May 2004, 11:45 AM   #2
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You only love your husband as a friend & say that you never really did love him in the first place, so why the confusion now? You & the new guy love each other so divorce your husband and persue this new relationship unhindered. You are the only person who has control over your life. No one is going to be able to tell you if it will work out, you're just going to have to find that out for yourselves.
~~~ I'm not young enough to know everything.
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