Easter Surprise....

[jnel921]

So my kids were spending the break with my cousin in Philly. My H and I drove down yesterday to pick them up. She asked me to pick them up from her brother's as they were celebrating there.

 

While we there lo and behold Ms.Facebook shows up with her kids.

 

Last year in February I posted a thread "Facebook is trouble.." Where I mentioned my H was having inappropriate PM's with a friend of my cousins whom we both didn't know. My H had lost his cellphone and I looked at his FB account while he was mowing the lawn. The weekend we were away she happened to be in town and clearly wanted to meet up with him. His response was "how convenient that you are in town when I am not" Anyway long story short, I wound up speaking to this woman who was sorry and embarrassed and begged me not to tell my family about this. She herself was married with kids and went to the same church. This situation happened the summer of 2011. At that time I was dealing with my H having too many conversations with a cousin in PR that I felt was inappropriate as well.

 

At the party my cousin introduces us. She asked me if we knew each other and I told her yes...we have spoken in the past. When my cousin pointed out my H and mentioned that he was the sports fan on FB and how we were from NY.

 

It suddenly hit her who I was and she almost turned green right in front of me. When I pointed her out to my H he went downstairs and never came up until it was time to leave. Ms. FB felt very uncomfortable as I am sure my H did as well.

 

When we left my H said he felt uncomfortable for me. He mentioned how he realizes now how those conversations were wrong and apologized in the car for making me go through that.

 

I told him that that was the beginning of him looking for something and obviously he followed through 6 months ago with the person who gave him the opportunity. He was assuring me that he currently was not and will not do anything wrong.

 

He told me how much he loved me and the kids and was not willing to risk losing that again for anyone. He also mentioned how I have not told him that I loved him since before D-Day and how that would be happiest day of his life.

 

It's still going to take some time. Facing that yesterday was a reminder. But it didn't feel so bad.

Edited April 1, 2013 by jnel921

[NotCamelot]

Wow, that had to be rough. I am glad you made it through with your head held high.

[BetrayedH]

Infidelity, it's the gift that just keeps on giving.

[krazikat]

It sounds like you handled yourself very well...better than I may have done. Your calm probably made her all the more uncomfortable. Lol.

[jnel921]

It sounds like you handled yourself very well...better than I may have done. Your calm probably made her all the more uncomfortable. Lol.

 

It sure did, she spent most of the afternoon sitting in a corner on the floor avoiding eye contact.

 

it's amazing how two people can talk so much crap and have nothing to say once they are in each others face.

 

I know she was as embarrassed as the last time I spoke to her in 2011.

[Spark1111]

It sure did, she spent most of the afternoon sitting in a corner on the floor avoiding eye contact.

 

it's amazing how two people can talk so much crap and have nothing to say once they are in each others face.

 

I know she was as embarrassed as the last time I spoke to her in 2011.

 

What you saw was the classic conflict avoidance that reigns supreme. Easy to communicate for countless hours via FB when no one is face-to-face.

 

You handled yourself with dignity and grace. You should be very proud of yourself.

 

As a word of caution, he is STILL avoiding conflict, as does my H from time to time.

 

Instead of hiding in the basement, he should have been at your side, IMO.

 

Maybe have a conversation about this.

[jnel921]

What you saw was the classic conflict avoidance that reigns supreme. Easy to communicate for countless hours via FB when no one is face-to-face.

 

You handled yourself with dignity and grace. You should be very proud of yourself.

 

As a word of caution, he is STILL avoiding conflict, as does my H from time to time.

 

Instead of hiding in the basement, he should have been at your side, IMO.

 

Maybe have a conversation about this.

 

I think him hiding showed he was embarrassed.

 

I saw this as an EA diverted at that time. Who knows how far it could have gone had I not read all of the IM's. The woman is attractive so I can see why there was an interest.

 

When he told me that he felt uncomfortable for me, I didn't believe that. I am sure he felt like an a$$. She sure did. Back then her only concern was the relationship she has with my family as they attend the same church. I made it clear to her that at that time that if she didn't know me why want to know my H better? Why ask to meet? She was clearly embarrassed and asked me to forgive her.

 

I am guessing she was missing something in her life at that time. But it didn't take away from the fact that my H went there. Those were red flags that he said I was overreacting over. That clearly wasn't the case fast forward into the next year when he decides it's convenient now to screw someone else.

 

I mentioned to him on Sunday how I was done pointing any of his behaviors out. if I have to question anything else then it's over.

 

I think I have dealt with enough over the past couple of years and he knows I can continue without him.

 

He says he loves me, he is working on changing and he has. He has been consistent.

 

It's a shame that the reminders are in my face. I can say it has helped with the healing. My H could have been different, he cold have stayed upstairs and tried to grab her attention and use that as an excuse to reach out again. But he didn't. He stayed away.