My story

[wayward 99]

Here is my story. I am ready (slightly) for what I deserve in sharing this. M for 16.5 years, mostly rocky. H is 42, I am 39. Have three kids (13, almost 11, 8). We married young, and it was my first real relationship, rushed into things, blah blah blah. Within months of being married my H lied to me about some financial and job related issues that I probably have never been able to get over. After having been in therapy about this, I have to come to realize that I lost my respect in him then and since we have had many financial strains on us for the duration of the marriage, as well as his difficulty in telling me the truth, I have never really trusted him. As a result, the walls I have put around myself are pretty thick. I feel very sad about this and honestly don’t know where to start to take the walls down. (Although I realize I have mad this pretty hard through my actions, read on) We did have done MC through the years, although most likely not enough of a sustained effort for any long enough period of time. He did some IC (not much) and I have been in IC for many years. We did a marriage intensive for about 3 days a year and a half ago where we flew to another city and worked with a therapist. I feel like it only superficially helped with some communication issues couples might have, but didn’t do much to heal some long-seated wounds and resentment.

 

Now, here’s my ugly part of the story. I did cheat on him about 6 years ago. It was an awful mistake and I am sick about what I did- it lasted about 6 months and was not an EA. It was a cheap, sordid PA. At the time I didn’t even know why I was doing it except maybe that I was starting to look for a way out. I know I liked the attention but really wasn’t doing it for sex. I have nothing but remorse when I look back on that experience. I was able to end that affair and not look back on it with any sense of nostalgia even, even though the OM did try to contact me for some time following that. I changed my phone number and then he was not able to contact me (we never contacted via email, facebook etc.)

 

However, after that experience the emptiness with the marriage persisted. I then (ugh) met someone in my community, and that turned into a full-blown love affair. I felt that this relationship met so many needs that had been missing for so long, as I probably have never really felt in love with H. I know in my head though that love is about actions, and not always feelings, but the feelings are usually missing for me when it comes to H. The guilt for him and OM was and is terrible though. We have probably tried to end it between us at least 30 times because of the guilt, and it is going on now 4 years even though I ended it again last week. We’ll see if that sticks. H is aware of both affairs and it has devastated him. I know he has wanted to forgive me, and we are in this very sick cycle of me getting caught, him getting angry, me saying I wanted to work on M, and then once I would see him soften towards me I would have this overwhelming desire to put the walls back up. I feel so terrible because I realize how selfish I have been in choosing to fulfill my own needs, and because it has hurt him very much. I know in my head that he does not deserve how horribly I have treated him, and I do not want our children to suffer, although I know they have and will. At the same time I have this resentment for him that bubbles under the surface all the time and I don’t want to live like this.

 

I have been cake-eating a long time because the A meets needs of romance and companionship, but I am terrified about even going 50/50 custody for my kids. I am terrified of how I will potentially harm my children. H tells me I am destroying their lives. I am just so tired of feeling resentful of my H, even though he is the one who should feel resentful.

 

To add to this, we had a really rough year when H exposed my affair to my parents and church. My pastor sought to have me excommunicated from the church, and my parents threatened to remove me from their will if I divorced H. They said that even if I stopped seeing OM, they still would not support any divorce. My mother said it would be better if I died than to get a divorce. I am working on forgiving her for that as she has apologized. In August of this year H and I got into a physical fight (he has never previously been abusive) and I felt unsafe. I tried to take my boys (daughter was sleeping) to my parents’ house because I had nowhere to go. They did not want to take me in. It turned into a hellish fight and my father ended up physically assaulting me. That relationship is cooked now as well.

 

This made me even more angry with H as I felt for months that he was trapping me; I had nowhere to go and our finances are such that we probably can’t even sell our house right now.

 

Now, in the 11th hour, I feel sick about my life. I don’t know how we can go on like this, but I don’t even know if we have any chance in the M if there is no respect or trust on either side.

 

We came up with a separation plan so that we will rotate nights in and out of our home to make it easier on the kids. H can stay with his mom when not in the house, and I found a rented room. That situation is miserable though too. We tried it for a week and I hated it- I wanted to come home to my kids. H wants to keep doing it though (I guess- deep down, I think he thinks this is a nightmare and wishes it could be different). H is asking me to go to the room again, and start our birds’ nest custody agreement again.

 

I guess my question is, how awful of a person am I? Does this marriage sound like it has any shot in hell of working?

 

Fwiw, OM is not married. He is divorced and was when I met him with three children of his own, and he wants very much for me to be free and marry him. He feels that I have been stringing him along for a little while, which I realize he is probably right and I have been unfair to him as well although he knows about all of the issues I’ve had in getting out.

[Black Jack]

Here is my story. I am ready (slightly) for what I deserve in sharing this. M for 16.5 years, mostly rocky. H is 42, I am 39. Have three kids (13, almost 11, 8). We married young, and it was my first real relationship, rushed into things, blah blah blah. Within months of being married my H lied to me about some financial and job related issues that I probably have never been able to get over. After having been in therapy about this, I have to come to realize that I lost my respect in him then and since we have had many financial strains on us for the duration of the marriage, as well as his difficulty in telling me the truth, I have never really trusted him. As a result, the walls I have put around myself are pretty thick. I feel very sad about this and honestly don’t know where to start to take the walls down. (Although I realize I have mad this pretty hard through my actions, read on) We did have done MC through the years, although most likely not enough of a sustained effort for any long enough period of time. He did some IC (not much) and I have been in IC for many years. We did a marriage intensive for about 3 days a year and a half ago where we flew to another city and worked with a therapist. I feel like it only superficially helped with some communication issues couples might have, but didn’t do much to heal some long-seated wounds and resentment.

 

Now, here’s my ugly part of the story. I did cheat on him about 6 years ago. It was an awful mistake and I am sick about what I did- it lasted about 6 months and was not an EA. It was a cheap, sordid PA. At the time I didn’t even know why I was doing it except maybe that I was starting to look for a way out. I know I liked the attention but really wasn’t doing it for sex. I have nothing but remorse when I look back on that experience. I was able to end that affair and not look back on it with any sense of nostalgia even, even though the OM did try to contact me for some time following that. I changed my phone number and then he was not able to contact me (we never contacted via email, facebook etc.)

 

However, after that experience the emptiness with the marriage persisted. I then (ugh) met someone in my community, and that turned into a full-blown love affair. I felt that this relationship met so many needs that had been missing for so long, as I probably have never really felt in love with H. I know in my head though that love is about actions, and not always feelings, but the feelings are usually missing for me when it comes to H. The guilt for him and OM was and is terrible though. We have probably tried to end it between us at least 30 times because of the guilt, and it is going on now 4 years even though I ended it again last week. We’ll see if that sticks. H is aware of both affairs and it has devastated him. I know he has wanted to forgive me, and we are in this very sick cycle of me getting caught, him getting angry, me saying I wanted to work on M, and then once I would see him soften towards me I would have this overwhelming desire to put the walls back up. I feel so terrible because I realize how selfish I have been in choosing to fulfill my own needs, and because it has hurt him very much. I know in my head that he does not deserve how horribly I have treated him, and I do not want our children to suffer, although I know they have and will. At the same time I have this resentment for him that bubbles under the surface all the time and I don’t want to live like this.

 

I have been cake-eating a long time because the A meets needs of romance and companionship, but I am terrified about even going 50/50 custody for my kids. I am terrified of how I will potentially harm my children. H tells me I am destroying their lives. I am just so tired of feeling resentful of my H, even though he is the one who should feel resentful.

 

To add to this, we had a really rough year when H exposed my affair to my parents and church. My pastor sought to have me excommunicated from the church, and my parents threatened to remove me from their will if I divorced H. They said that even if I stopped seeing OM, they still would not support any divorce. My mother said it would be better if I died than to get a divorce. I am working on forgiving her for that as she has apologized. In August of this year H and I got into a physical fight (he has never previously been abusive) and I felt unsafe. I tried to take my boys (daughter was sleeping) to my parents’ house because I had nowhere to go. They did not want to take me in. It turned into a hellish fight and my father ended up physically assaulting me. That relationship is cooked now as well.

 

This made me even more angry with H as I felt for months that he was trapping me; I had nowhere to go and our finances are such that we probably can’t even sell our house right now.

 

Now, in the 11th hour, I feel sick about my life. I don’t know how we can go on like this, but I don’t even know if we have any chance in the M if there is no respect or trust on either side.

 

We came up with a separation plan so that we will rotate nights in and out of our home to make it easier on the kids. H can stay with his mom when not in the house, and I found a rented room. That situation is miserable though too. We tried it for a week and I hated it- I wanted to come home to my kids. H wants to keep doing it though (I guess- deep down, I think he thinks this is a nightmare and wishes it could be different). H is asking me to go to the room again, and start our birds’ nest custody agreement again.

 

I guess my question is, how awful of a person am I? Does this marriage sound like it has any shot in hell of working?

 

Fwiw, OM is not married. He is divorced and was when I met him with three children of his own, and he wants very much for me to be free and marry him. He feels that I have been stringing him along for a little while, which I realize he is probably right and I have been unfair to him as well although he knows about all of the issues I’ve had in getting out.

 

I think you should just divorce him. You've cheated on him multiple times and from what I'm reading, you still are. He deserves to be rid of the pain you're dealing him and he especially deserves to have custody of his kids.

[Owl]

I kinda agree with Blackjack. Divorce him. You don't love him, you're not faithful to him...there's no foundation for a relationship to even be rebuilt from here.

 

As far as custody...that's for the courts to decide.

 

But let's face it...you've been resentful and angry at him for years, and you've cheated on him for years. What's the point of keeping this cycle (farce) going any longer?

[SandieBeach]

So whom do you truly want to be with? Other than your guilt about cheating, and your family rejecting you if you divorce, it does not sound your husband is the man you want (correct me if I am wrong).

 

It also sounds like your husband has been lying to you about certain things, and you've resented him. What are your real reasons for wanting to save your marriage?

[Betrayed&Stayed]

Reconciling a marriage after adultery is extremely difficult even in the best-case scenario. This situation is far from best-case scenario. I don't see you or your husband able to survive the years (yes, I said YEARS) of work and self-assessment it takes to reconcile your marriage. But,that's just my opinion from putting in the hard work.

[Kidd]

I recommend that you make a choice and go all in on that choice. Believe it or not, marriages have survived worse. I find it positive that you have some of the knowledge of "why" you have had these affairs. Hello unresolved resentment. It's th culprit almost every time. Poor choice in resolving it via an affair. How's that working out for you?

 

Either fix the M (it's remarkable and noble that your H has given you this chance repeatedly) or cut the poor guy loose.

 

By the way, the OM ain't gonna work out. The thrill will be gone and next thing you know, you have a real relationship with dirty dishes, dirty underwear, and you will still not know how to resolve resentment (thus bringing it into your next relationship). Plus, it's one built on lies, deceit, and betrayal. Statistically, you have a 3% chance of it working out.

[Steen719]

If you leave, it should only be because of your relationship with your H and not your relationship with the OM. Even though the affair has gone on for 4 years, who knows what it would be like with the everyday life. You have 3 children, he has 3 children, you cheated twice, he had no wife during your affair...but he had an affair with another man's wife. I am saying that you and OM's relationship certainly has a poor foundation to build on. If you do not love your husband, then you should not be with him. Everyone should find love if they can and maybe he can find love with someone else.

 

Children can adjust. My 21 yr. old son felt I had been unhappy for a long time. I was living and breathing and going forward, but he saw it. What kind of example are you being for your children? You and H had a physical altercation, your father became assaultive with you and this is so unhealthy. Your church wants to excommunicate you? I don't know....the whole thing is very sad and it seems that you and he and your children will never be happy all together. I would not go to your parents for help, I would find another church, I would get counseling for your children if you are worried and I would get a divorce. I don't think you are doing your H any favors by staying with him and not loving him and cheating.

 

Finally, my XH cheated on 2 times (that I know of). I really do not know how long he had been unhappy, but based on his behavior, it may have been for a long time. It's pretty hard to tell as he lies with no problem and always to his benefit. I can tell you this; I wish he had told me he was unhappy before he cheated and I wish I had the knowledge and experience I have now because after the 1st time, I should have left him. I have no respect for him and worse, his son does not, either. People are always saying once a cheater does not always mean always a cheater (could be true, but I don't care), but really, for me, right now in my life, I should have realized that MY feelings about it are I don't want a person who can look me in the face and lie to me EVER. I don't understand how a person can do that to anyone.

 

My 2 cents.

[eamherst14051]

Put a fork in it WW99, this one is DONE!!

[Steen719]

 

By the way, the OM ain't gonna work out. The thrill will be gone and next thing you know, you have a real relationship with dirty dishes, dirty underwear, and you will still not know how to resolve resentment (thus bringing it into your next relationship). Plus, it's one built on lies, deceit, and betrayal. Statistically, you have a 3% chance of it working out.

 

Kidd posted this while I was posting and he said it better, but it is what I meant.

[Meatballsmom]

I am not sure whether the marriage can be saved or if it is worth it

 

My advice to you is that you need to cut off all contact with your OM immediately. He can never be a part of you life again.

 

The truth is he is a low life that is fooling around with a married woman.

 

The reason that I say this is for your future relationship with your children. The OM is toxic toward that relationship

 

All too often I read that the children will work through this. Bull! In almost every case the children are damaged in one way or another. Please do not get the impression that I advocate the two of you sticking it out for the kids. What I am saying is that you have to own up to the fact that your actions have damaged them.

 

What is unsaid, is how often the children, once they reach adulthood, will look back at their broken home life, and turn on the cheating spouse, whether it is the husband or the wife. All of the blame of the pain goes directly to the cheater.

 

What is also unsaid is how often once they reach adulthood, they will cut the cheating parent totally out of their lives. If you are looking forward to some day being able to spoil your grandchildren, there is a chance that you will never be able to see them much less spoil them

 

The chance that this might happen seems to increase if the cheating spouse trys to forge a relationship with their paramour. Absolutely forget trying to blend the two families.

 

Two of my fellow co-workers made this mistake. They even got partial custody of the kids and married the OM. Ten years later the kids grew up and totally cut their mom out of their life.

 

There are grandkids involved. Neither one of my friends have ever been able to so much as hold their grand babies. The one friend was able to sneak a peak of her first grandkid, while everyebody else was gone while she was still in the nursery at the hospital. My friend has not seen her grandaughter since and she is now in her 20's and rumour has it possible going to marry in the near future.

 

My other friend, in order to see her grand kids, has to sneak down to their schools, and hopefully get a glimpse of them when school is out.

 

The both agree that their biggest mistake was getting involved with the OM. But right up there was their marrying the OM. As it turned out years later it totally ruined their lives.

 

Please do not misunderstand, that I am trying to say you should stick it out for the kids. What I am saying is that you are taking a big risk of totally losing the respect of your kids in the future if you continue with a relationship with the OM. If you must divorce, divorce, but then build a new relationship with another man, not the OM.

[whichwayisup]

When it comes to money, you have yourself to rely on, not your parents. Let them cut you out of their will. So what if you don't inherit their money.. You're doing fine without it now, right?

 

It's obvious that you're not in love with your husband. I'm sure you do care about him and have affectionate feelings because he is the father of your children, but your (continuous) actions show that you don't respect him much.

 

I agree with the others, divorce him. Your kids know things are not good between you two now, so living under one roof with all the turmoil going on isn't good for them. They can be perfectly happy (with help from family counselling - ALL of you go together to help make the adjustments easier) in two houses. You and your H have to still co parent so you both might as well put the kids first, no matter what.

 

As for the OM, leave him alone until your life is straightened out. Then when the timing is right and if he is still interested you two can date and get to know eachother in a more proper way rather than cheating and having an affair.

[wayward 99]

Thank you all for your advice so far, although I am glad you are not adjudicating my custody trial, Black Jack. I have no intention of giving up full custody if we divorce. We have both agreed to 50/50 if it comes to that and he does not "deserve" full custody because he is a BS.

 

Kidd, I am really thinking about your comments and how to get over resentment. No matter what happens, it is poisoning me. I have found it difficult to forgive him as the lying has been a problem for the duration of the marriage.

 

None of that justifies my behavior; it is terrible and I know I have inflicted terrible betrayal on him. I will say in response to a post that I did tell him I wad unhappy with his behavior and cried, pleaded, begged and threatened him to change for 10 years before cheating.

 

Do I really want to be with him? No, I don't think so. What makes me want to stay and see if there is anything to salvage is for the kids and their intact family.

 

Meatballmom, those stories are awful!!

[standtall]

He is divorced and was when I met him with three children of his own, and he wants very much for me to be free and marry him. .

 

The irony of that statement is funny. Like marriage means much according to your past.

So let me get this straight, you've had multiple affairs and you've lost respect for him over lying about bad credit/debts? IMHO, I think you have no respect for him because he allows you to treat him like a doormat by tolerating you after your un-apologetic affairs.

 

Anyways, get off the ice and hang up your skates, you burned your marriage to the ground.

[Chi townD]

Well, you need to divorce. And that's saying a lot coming from me. But, if the relationship is resulting in physical altercations, it's time to end things.

 

But, I do feel sorry for the kids. They are never going to have full time parents ever again. They are going to be bounce back and forth for years to come and one day they'll find out the real reason why.

 

I hope the OM's were worth it.

[Black Jack]

Thank you all for your advice so far, although I am glad you are not adjudicating my custody trial, Black Jack. I have no intention of giving up full custody if we divorce.

 

Oh don't I know that. Not surprised you'd say that.

 

We have both agreed to 50/50 if it comes to that and he does not "deserve" full custody because he is a BS.

 

Of course you feel that way. You think you deserve it all.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Thank you all for your advice so far, although I am glad you are not adjudicating my custody trial, Black Jack. I have no intention of giving up full custody if we divorce. We have both agreed to 50/50 if it comes to that and he does not "deserve" full custody because he is a BS.

Kidd, I am really thinking about your comments and how to get over resentment. No matter what happens, it is poisoning me. I have found it difficult to forgive him as the lying has been a problem for the duration of the marriage.

None of that justifies my behavior; it is terrible and I know I have inflicted terrible betrayal on him. I will say in response to a post that I did tell him I wad unhappy with his behavior and cried, pleaded, begged and threatened him to change for 10 years before cheating.

Do I really want to be with him? No, I don't think so. What makes me want to stay and see if there is anything to salvage is for the kids and their intact family.

Meatballmom, those stories are awful!!

 

I'm just not really sure what to say to you. I feel bad for you... but at the same... you are intentionally hurting everyone around you. What kind of person hurts their own kids?

 

Clearly you don't love your husband... What on earth could have caused so much resentment?

[standtall]

I don't know, but since the OP is brand new with 2 posts, has unapologetic, rotten behavior, has a lot of drama..including everyone physically assaulting her, and threw herself out here to be crucified, I'm smelling a troll.

[wayward 99]

No, I am not a troll. Sadly every word I shared is true.

 

I appreciate some of the thoughtful advice, but I get it. If you are the cheater here, it is black and white and you = villain and bad mother.

 

 

I am glad the courts in my area do not share you viewpoint on custody.

[2.50 a gallon]

ww99

 

Listen to meatballsmom.

 

Twenty years ago I moved into a new apartment complex, where one of the long term residents was a older lady the kids all called Grandma M. Grandma M loved kids, and her apartment was so located that every day when the local kids got out of school they walked right by her patio and every day she was out there talking to them.

 

Grandma M was rather strange in that although she lived alone she had a two bedroom apartment, the second bedroom was for her grandkids when they came from out of state to stay with her. She was totally into her grand kids. When you entered her apartment her walls were plastered with large blow ups of them, all of whom lived out of state.

 

Then after living there a couple of years I went down to the local school to catch some Little League games, where luck would have it I ran into an old high school buddy that I hadn't seen for about 30 years. He and his mom were watching his grandson play.

 

He caught me off guard when he said something about the whore living around here, as Grandma M drove by in her convertable with the top down. That is when I found out that the nice lady whom I had known as his mom was actually his step mom and Grandma M was his real mom. She had cheated on his dad and dumped him to marry her rich man boss.

 

None of my friends sister and brother wanted anything to do with Grandma M. And as for her grandkids living out of state, other than one brother, his other brother and sister were still living in town. Once a year at Christmas one of the siblings would send her a Christmas card with a picture of the grandkids, always postmarked out of state. It was these pictures that she had blown up to decorate her walls with.

 

She had just driven by a school one block from her apartment with out knowing that one of her great grandkids, whom she had never seen was playing ball.

 

She spent the last 50 plus years of her life living alone, thinking her kids and grand kids had relocated out of state. She passed away a couple of years ago with out ever seeing any of her grandkids and not knowing that her first great great grand daughter had been born less than two miles away from her apartment.

[standtall]

I appreciate some of the thoughtful advice, but I get it. If you are the cheater here, it is black and white and you = villain and bad mother.

 

 

 

Post on the OW/OM forum. Even though it is technically not your case, there are more sympathetic ears there.

 

BTW, you made it yourself out to be the bad guy in your original post, and asked for posters opinion of you and your situation on a forum predominately posted to by BS's.

I guess my question is, how awful of a person am I? Does this marriage sound like it has any shot in hell of working

 

Hence my word "crucified". What exactly to you expect to hear?

[Chi townD]

Well, here's the rub. More guys are getting recongized by the courts for their rights as fathers ( and thank God for that!) Your husband will have visitation rights to those kids. So, unless he gets busted with 20 crack pipes and needles sticking out of his arm, he's going to get some kind of visitation. Point is, you will NOT have your kids all of the time. There will be weekends without them and prephaps even an entire summer without them. (I've seen cases where the father has them for the entire summer break and the wife gets them two weekends a month..just kinda gets reversed so the 50/50 split happens evenly.) SO, just be prepared for that!

[wayward 99]

Again, I appreciate thoughtful words, especially given from people who have been hurt from infidelity.

 

At the same time, what is the sense of chasing people off because you refuse to see things as more complicated than there being a "bad guy?"

 

At any rate, I have consulted with two lawyers and a mediator in the past, and know that we would each get joint physical custody (50/50). No judge in our area is going to hand the children to the father because he is a BS. My husband and I actually agreed that if we divorce we will write up a mediation agreement where we can seek to co-parent amicably. He told me that I am a good mother (and he is a good father) and he would not try to go for full custody (which he would not get anyway, the fight would just cost a lot of money).

 

It is because of issues like this that I have paused 10 times a day and re-thought and thought again divorce:

 

But, I do feel sorry for the kids. They are never going to have full time parents ever again. They are going to be bounce back and forth for years to come and one day they'll find out the real reason why.

 

I hope the OM's were worth it.

 

After going through the anguish of wondering if I can choose to be happy or to stick it out for the kids, it is kind of hard to swallow posts that say I am INTENTIONALLy hurting my children.

 

I also wonder where you read that I was unapologetic for my behavior. I think I've mentioned numerous times that I know h does not deserve it and it is terrible. I've also mentioned my struggles with guilt, attempts to end things, and remorse over first A.

[Betrayed&Stayed]

 

It is because of issues like this that I have paused 10 times a day and re-thought and thought again divorce:

 

After going through the anguish of wondering if I can choose to be happy or to stick it out for the kids, it is kind of hard to swallow posts that say I am INTENTIONALLy hurting my children.

 

I also wonder where you read that I was unapologetic for my behavior. I think I've mentioned numerous times that I know h does not deserve it and it is terrible. I've also mentioned my struggles with guilt, attempts to end things, and remorse over first A.

 

Yes you are intentionally making the lives of your husband and children hell. Let's recap:

 

1 - 6 month affair; you felt so terrible about your "mistake" that in less than 2 yrs later you had a

 

2 - 4 year long affair with different man; again you felt so bad about it that have broken it off "30 times" and hope that this time it "will stick".

 

3 - You are upset that your husband lied about finances many years ago, but you've had two affairs and lied about them.

 

4 - You feel that your husband should be the one feeling resentment. Oh, he is now overflowing with resentment.

 

5 - Seems like you think divorce is a much bigger evil than serial adultery.

 

My questions are:

 

Why didn't you just divorce the guy is he is such a horrible husband?

 

Why do you think that a divorce will be more damaging to your kids than serial adultery. You have spent almost a total of 5 years screwing another man that is not your husband. What will your kids think about that?!

 

You are unapologetic! You're actions clearly show that you don't care about anyone but yourself. It's all about you. not your husband, not your kids, not your parents, and not your church.

[standtall]

At the same time, what is the sense of chasing people off because you refuse to see things as more complicated than there being a "bad guy?"

 

 

Without explaining to the readers here why you're so resentful of your husband while portraying him in a light other than he has some honesty issues, and describing your multiple affairs and abandonment of your marriage, then most people can only make a opinion based on what you've told. You made yourself out to be the bad guy.

 

I also wonder where you read that I was unapologetic for my behavior. I think I've mentioned numerous times that I know h does not deserve it and it is terrible. I've also mentioned my struggles with guilt, attempts to end things, and remorse over first A.

 

Well, you haven't apologized for the 2nd affair....the important one..the one that you're leaving your marriage over....hence, un-apologetic. Feeling guilty is irrelevant.

[Ninja'sHusband]

Agreed with other posters here.

 

 

Actions > Words

 

 

I wish my WW understood that