My wife wants to go to a strip club!

[justmarried]

We just got married not to long ago and my wife wants to go to a stip club because she has never been. I told her that is what a bachelorette party is for. I really don't want her to go. Is there any reason I could tell her, so she won't go?

[baby_A]

If she has never been, tell her even though she should have done it before you got married, as long as its a one off its ok by you, but that you would be uncomfortable with it if it turned into a regular occurence.

 

Many women get the urge to do something like that

 

Usually has something to do with them gaining self confidence at some point in their life and being able to act on their once in a lifetime desire to be reckless and daring.

 

Some carry on doing it, but its better if they are still single

 

I don't advise you forbidding her.

[HokeyReligions]

I don't go for the "usually its a confidence building" thing.

 

Why does she say she wants to go? By herself? With a group of friends?

 

If my husband forbade me to do something, well, I would be so angry that I'd do it anyway! But if he came to me and said that it would upset him and hurt his feelings, I wouldn't do it.

 

If its a special occasion w/ her girl-friends, or just because she's never gone before and suddenly now has the opportunity, then unless it really upsets you for her to go at all, it probably won't be a big deal & she'll get it out of her system.

 

Or you could ask her how she would feel if YOU went to a strip club and maybe she'll see it differently.

[Thor]

Or you could go along with her. That is, if she wants you to go and if you can stand going. My wife comes with me to the female strip clubs when she wants. However, if you still don't want her to go then just let her know how you feel. Just don't tell her what to do.

As Hokey mentions, some folks out there will do the complete opposite of what they are told not to do.

[Oxydol]

Tempest in a teapot. It's not your right to give your permission for anything she does.

 

I agree with baby_A. Let her know that you are uncomfortable with the idea, but that you have no objections to her going. Hopefully she will be attending with a friend or friends. It was also suggested by another poster that you accompany her. If you choose this route, propose it to her explaining that it would be a hoot to attend because you've never been. Or you might suggest it might be a tremendous turn on to observe her watching men peeling themselves. I cannot imagine you being shocked by such surroundings because you yourself possess the equipment, you are familiar with it.

 

Be very careful that you do not give your dear wife the impression that you do not trust her. You don't want to start something you are not prepared to handle.

 

I don't know you, but I expect you're feeling insecure that you're not enough excitement for your bride. And NO, I'm not suggesting you have reason to be insecure. You're just human with real human feelings...whether they are valid or not.

[sharpy]

I have a question for any women on this forum. My wife of 8 years recently started going to a strip club in canada

She has been going with a group of female freinds , and they go about once a month , this is the third month in a row that her and her three friends have gone. She says that she goes only for the novelty of it , and that she is just there to get a laugh and have some fun. Should I be worried ? I trust her completely , am i just being insecure ? Any information would help.

 

Sharpy

[Owl]

Hmmm....interesting how many posts there are on here that say you shouldn't tell your wife what NOT to do...or wives saying I'd go anyway just to spite my husband if he flat told me not to go. Then you look at all the other posts on this forum telling wives to tell their husbands NOT to do something because it makes them feel uncomfortable in some fashion.

 

Not judging...just an observation. It says a LOT about our society when you stop to think about it. We've done a complete turn around from the 20's-60's where men were completely in control, to now when it seems like the women have all the power. Not saying that anyone should be in complete control...but you wonder where the balance is sometimes.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I guess it depends on the circumstances. Is she going alone, or with friends? Is she meeting someone there? Talk to her about it. You can let her know that it hurts your feelings, but give her a chance to explain why it is she wants to go. It sounds like good old fashioned curiosity to me.

 

Maybe you two can work something out.

[Pocky]

Hmmm....interesting how many posts there are on here that say you shouldn't tell your wife what NOT to do...or wives saying I'd go anyway just to spite my husband if he flat told me not to go. Then you look at all the other posts on this forum telling wives to tell their husbands NOT to do something because it makes them feel uncomfortable in some fashion.

 

There's always a double standard to everything. When you take a society that is taught that "I" is the most important word this is what you get.

[sylviaguardian]

I don't see going to a strip club as a major threat, although I wouldn't want to do it myself. It's not like your wife is going to have a relationship with the stripper is it?

 

When you asked what people thought about it, does that mean that you are really not happy with the idea or are you not sure if you should be unhappy about it.

 

I would see the major problem being that if you are really unhappy about it, that your wife would still choose to go. You can't forbid her but make it clear what your reasons are for not wanting her to go and leave it at that.

 

At the end of the day, it probably is just a bit of fun for her but if you really hate the idea and she still chooses to go it's going to turn into an issue.

[250r]

If I were in your position this is what I'd prolly do:

1) Tell her that I'd be happy to go with her since all she really wants to do is "go and see what it is all about". She is married to you so she should not want to be doing anything behind your back. I'd even buy her a lap dance - Id hate it but I'd do it.

 

if #1 was shot down by wife, then..

 

2) I don't feel comfortable with you going to see strippers, especially now that I know that you don't want me around. I would ask her that she not go.

 

if #2 failed and your that serious about her not going (which I would be too):

 

3) If you go then I'm gonna be pissed. This type of behavior is not what I am looking for in a wife and I will not tolerate it. Be prepared to deal with the ramafications if you choose to go. You do have a choice, #1 or my attorney will contact you with option #4. The way I look at is something is more important to her, either going to a strip club alone or our vows. If she picks astrip club over you there wasn't much there to begin with - might as well end it now.

[TMCM]

I agree with those that tell you not to make any selfish demands for her to stop going to the strip club, no matter how noble the cause because they will only backfire. I suggest that you ask her the name and address of this strip club. If she asks you why you want to know, say to her that you will but AFTER she tells you the name and address of the strip club. IF she does give you the name and address of the club, answer her question by saying to her that you now feel better because she cared enough to give you the information without becoming defensive. Let her know that just as you trust her to do the right thing in places not known for people to do such, it is good for you to know that she trusts you as well. BUT if she becomes defensive and refuses to tell you and demands that you answer her question first, then a HUGE RED FLAG has just been waved in front of your face. In that case, you say to her that she demands that you trust her in a seedy place, with friends who may/may not support marital fidelity and alcohol flows freely, but she does not trust you to give you the name and the address of this strip club, which tells you that in the marriage she is the only one worthy of trust but you are not. If after this, she apologizes and gives you the name and address, tell her that you trust her in honoring her marital vows from those influences which are its enemies. By telling her this, you have told her that she should be on her guard in not letting the bad influences [alcohol, promiscuous 'friends', and available men] seduce her into doing something she will regret the rest of her life.

Good luck.

 

TMCM

[Catalinapilot]

Heck, if that's what she wants, then make a date of it and go together as a couple. That's why you got married, isn't it? It should count as a very cool evening, shared with some beers at then end and a fruitful night. I'd say, do it as a "couple."

 

Catalinapilot

[Nocturnalkitee]

Originally posted by Catalinapilot

Heck, if that's what she wants, then make a date of it and go together as a couple. That's why you got married, isn't it? It should count as a very cool evening, shared with some beers at then end and a fruitful night. I'd say, do it as a "couple."

 

Catalinapilot

I don't see a problem. If you go with her or not, at the end of the evening she is still coming home to you.

 

I use to think that males strippers were so exciting and sexy. I think differently now.

 

Several years ago a friend of mind hired a male stripper for my Birthday party. At first when he started his routine, I was all excited and acting like a person that had never seen a half naked. As time went on a naked man. After about two minutes I was disgusted. I will not describe with when on. Maybe I felt the way I did because I was married.

 

I feel if a person is already satisfied with their partner, no outside forces break that bond.