ILuvAJ4Life Posted June 8, 2003 Share Posted June 8, 2003 Two years ago I was at a club with a friend and we ran into a man that I had met before. We'll call him tony. About 5 years earlier friends tryed to hook me and tony up but I didn't have high regards for his friend and figured he wasn't worth it. So 5 years later we meet at the club. There is instant attraction between the both of us. He asks me out and I say yes and we date happily. We fall in love. Then six months down the line I find out he is married. I find out from his wife who found out about us. I told her I didn't know he was married and I never intended to hurt anyone. That is the truth. I also told her that I love him and I believe him when he tells me that he loves me. His wife and myself have had conversations and she tryes to make it seem like they are so happy together when I know they are not. Anyways I did end the relationship for a short time but was miserable without him. We got back together and we are still together today. We are very much in love and his wife is still in the picture for the reason that they have 2 children together. I am not writing this to get advise for I am the one who has to live with myself and set an example for my child. I am curious to see how many people are so quick to judge. I honestly believe all is far in love and war. If two people are truly in love there is nothing that should keep them from being together. Everyone has the right to be happy regarless of what they may have thought they wanted in the past. I have fought with myself and spent long sleepless nights debating on whats right? and whats wrong ?and what if?. I am comfortable with my decision to be madly in love with a married man. And if I am wrong than I am willing to take that chance because I feel so strongly that my intuition is correct. I have great faith in my ability to percieve this whole situation. I hope this has helped someone. DON'T EVER LET SOMEONE ELSES OPINION OR POINT OF VIEW MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. HAVE YOUR OWN MORALS AND BELEIVE IN YOURSELF. PUT YOURSELF IN SOMEONE ELSES SHOES BEFORE YOU ARE SO QUICK TO JUDGE. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmyboys Posted June 8, 2003 Share Posted June 8, 2003 So who are you trying to convince that being with a married man is okay as long as it feels right? Us or yourself? No one is judging here from what I can see. I only see opinions on the subject. I'm sure nobody really cares if you are seeing a married man or not, so why the defense? Hey, whatever makes you happy. I just know that I sure wouldn't want to be the other woman if only for one thing...he probably is sleeping with his wife too....ewwww! Not to mention that the excuse of staying together for the kids sake is pretty lame. There are plenty of families that do just fine, if not better after a divorce because the screaming and the tension is finally gone. But, that's just my opinion, not judging. I fully believe that there are some people in this world who just weren't the type to be married, and perhaps he's one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted June 8, 2003 Share Posted June 8, 2003 We are very much in love and his wife is still in the picture for the reason that they have 2 children together. Time to "get real." The reason his wife is still in the picture is because he wants her to be. You're being played for a fool. Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted June 8, 2003 Share Posted June 8, 2003 You sure are mighty defensive for someone who's so sure that what they're doing is the right thing for them. You need to wake up and smell some reality. It's the oldest line in the book; a married guy telling his mistress that he's only staying in the marriage "for his kids." He's staying because he's got the best of both worlds: his wife who you can bet he has regular passionate sex with, and you....his fun little escape on the side/a diversion from the reality of life (chores at home, bills to be paid, lawn to be mowed, kids to contend with, etc). I always thinks it's tremendously sad when anyone, man or woman, feels they are worth so little that they can find ways to justify why they're allowing themself to be someone's "side-dish." Why would you want to be with a man who's no doubt tremendously hurt his own wife? The mother of his children who he previously stood before family/friends/God and made marriage vows to? He is even more of an a**h*** because the truth is out, she knows about you, he knows she knows, you know about her.....yet he couldn't care less. This is the kind of man you want in your life? To be around your child? I don't know how old your child is but she's no doubt going to grow up having a very f*cked up view of relationships and marriage and fidelity. In addition, she'll likely get to the point where she wonders why her own mother would settle for being some married guy's side-dish. Just curious......doesn't it bother you to think about your guy lying on top of his wife, making mad passionate love to her.....? Oh, if you're going to tell us that he tells you they "haven't had sex for years" then I've got a bridge to sell ya. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 If two people are truly in love there is nothing that should keep them from being together. Everyone has the right to be happy regarless of what they may have thought they wanted in the past. true. My question to you is, If you and AJ love each other so much and are obviously meant to be together, what's he still doing with his wife? He'll still be a dad whether he stays married to the mother of his children or he divorces her. Frankly, I think he's blowing smoke up your •ss, because he's still keeping his wife in the picture because if "nothing should keep the two of you from being together," he'd be getting out of his relationship with her so he could be with you without any impediments. Why are you settling for a bad imitation of love? Link to post Share on other sites
iluvaj4life Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 I was wrong to think that he would leave. I am wrong to want him to leave. I feel like I can't control the love I have for him but I can control what I do about it. I have made the desicion to leave him and I hope with everything I have inside that I am strong enough to follow through because I have tried before. I will just have to focus on something else. I apologize if I offended anyone. I realize now how stupid I was, or am. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmyboys Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. You're not stupid, you're just stuck and are finally seeing the light. Now you need to stick to your guns and take pride in yourself for doing the right thing. You are so right, you can't control how you feel or think, but yes, you can control what you do about it. Stay strong and good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts