turnstone Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I've made some bad choices in my life. Some really bad choices. I've worn some hideous clothes in the name of fashion, I've attended the most boring events in the name of networking, I've even been filmed wearing, wait for it, no make up but by far the worst choice I've made has been to marry a certain man. So now after these past few weeks of hell and torture, now I have the chance to make a really good choice, but I'm so unsure of what is right and for the best, I no longer trust myself to chose wisely. My nearly ex has agreed to pay damages in part recompense for infecting me with an STD. What best to do with the money? Not only am I financially independent anyway, I do not wish to benefit from this what feels like, blood money. But I do wish it to do some good, somewhere. I have considered various charities, I have considered putting it into trust for his son, whom I always got on extremely well with and who has tried to give me his support in this godawful situation we find ourselves in, perhaps I should spread it about? Your thoughts on this are gratefully received, although I have access to great financial advice, I have sparse resources when it comes to morality, humanity and foresight. They've been sucked out of me. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 How about putting in trust for the son or give it to charity for research for std and their affects. I am sure you will do what you feel is right. It sounds like your heart is in the right place, I am sure you will do what you think is best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author turnstone Posted December 7, 2009 Author Share Posted December 7, 2009 Yeah, I thought about those two things, as I said. The son is already very comfortable, his father is a multi-millionaire, and he will be even more wealthy once he finishes his PhD next year. So, would that be the best use? It may be a great thing for me to do, emotionally, but I'm not sure of the ramifications never mind putting it to better use elsewhere.... I don't know.... Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Take your time to make the decision. I also wonder about taking care of AIDS patients. I know in rural areas of this country and in third world places could use some extra help in caring for indigent people. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Battered Women's shelter/program..It would help other women in horrible situations who may otherwise feel trapped due to their financial circumstances. Also wanted to say I admire the way you are handling this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author turnstone Posted December 7, 2009 Author Share Posted December 7, 2009 Oh hey Phoenix, thank you. And that's a great idea. In the past I've been quite good at researching various charities before donating to them because I want to know the money is going to help those that need it rather than line the coffers of the various do-gooders who are getting their thrills from controlling, I mean *helping* the disadvantaged. So at least I know I'm equipped to check out what's what's needed. I have to admit that this is NOT purely altruistic, much like those busy bodies I alluded to, this will give me enormous satisfaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Oh hey Phoenix, thank you. And that's a great idea. In the past I've been quite good at researching various charities before donating to them because I want to know the money is going to help those that need it rather than line the coffers of the various do-gooders who are getting their thrills from controlling, I mean *helping* the disadvantaged. So at least I know I'm equipped to check out what's what's needed. I have to admit that this is NOT purely altruistic, much like those busy bodies I alluded to, this will give me enormous satisfaction. Turnstone, I love your idea and I love Phoenix's suggestion for it! I often think of all those women who have to put up with intolerable behavior to keep a roof over their childen's heads. I also think of myself, how liberating to have enough F U money to NOT have to tolerate anyone's bad behavior. Sadly, many women do not have this choice, and it all boils down to the almighty buck. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Excellent idea. I love it. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I think Phoenix's idea is a great one! Or maybe if there is enough to spread around, you could split it, and send half to the battered woman's shelter of your choice, and get down right personal with some of it... personally meeting and choosing one woman and helping her move OUT of a shelter and back on to her feet (help with housing ie pay several months rent, transportation, whatever is holding her back from being independant again.) Perhaps the personal touch will put you back in touch with your feelings of humanity that you say you have lost touch with. Hands on help and being able to personally witness the changes your kindness can affect in someone's life may be just what you need to reconnect with that lost part of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author turnstone Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Well, I'm in the process of checking various Women's Refuges and I have a meeting set up with the CE of one of them to discuss what's needed. I'm also talking with The Johns Hopkins Malaria Research Institute, something I should've considered from the outset as I worked with them in Africa for a long while. Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
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