Ripples Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Ok, bit of background first off. I've been with my partner for four years. It's been pretty tough for both of us, on and off. We've both made pretty huge mistakes and it's been hard for both of us to let go of resentments. I feel I've made pretty huge inroads to my own issues in the last six months and we've been coasting. It's been pretty damn good. However, seems like some men won't change if they don't directly benefit, won't 'fix' something if it appears to not be broken. You know how it is. Well, in the last week I've been feeling that he's not being doing as much as I would like him to. He hasn't shown me the level of commitment I've wanted and needed. So, I said (among other things), two days ago, that I felt he was waiting for me to be perfect before he made a another step, and I felt that that was unfair and unreasonable. I then moved all my stuff back to mine, and made no contact. I did this calmly and without drama. He's just called me, told me he's thought about what I've said, that he agrees, and he wants to marry me. I can honestly say that, although I'm pretty level headed now and tend not to fly off the handle etc. I wouldn't have been able to handle the situation in quite such a calm way, nor would I have been able to maintain no contact (ok, so it was only for two days!) without having read some of the posts here and the very sage advice given. So, thank you, guys. Link to post Share on other sites
wantedbetter Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Congratulations! Please, please go in with both eyes wide open!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Congrats, Ripples! Not just on your upcoming nuptials, but on your personal growth in managing relationship issues. I must admit, though, part of me is crushed. I mean, I haven't yet been to Oxford... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ripples Posted August 23, 2006 Author Share Posted August 23, 2006 SC, thank you so much. We'd both welcome you to Oxford anytime. WB, I'm kinda past doing things out of naivety now Link to post Share on other sites
luvstarved Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 You go, girl! When I was dating my husband, he gave me the "not looking for anything serious" speech. I told him, "in other words, you're just looking to get laid and have ruled me out for long term consideration. I had not ruled you in or out...until now. Buh bye." 3 months later, we were married. Sometimes you just have to decide to take a risk rather than take less than what you want. I am glad you were able to refuse to settle and trust your open practical and forthright approach will serve you well in your marriage. Best wishes! Link to post Share on other sites
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