how long until its considerded not on the rebound

[taurus5]

I have been seperated with my wife for a little over a month (she had a guy friend whom have been friends with for a long time and she started to develop feelings for him) and then she says she wants to seperate she needed space to evaluate us and focus on her career so I gave her her space and about 3 days later after our seperation they mutually brake things off.

 

He was developing feelings also and didn't want things to go any further because she was married and since she was married she didn't want to feelings the get any stonger so we continually have talks about getting back together and I thought we were going to work things out until I was looking at her phone and one of her text messages she had written to the guy that she wanted to **ck she had a bad day and for him to call her.

 

At first I couldn't find my breath I was in such shock but later was really pissed off but not really hurt but felt betryed and lied to I guess because I knew they had been together already so I guess I expected it so now I don't talk to her at all I can't even look her in the eyes

 

Now I am the type of guy who is the rebound type when I feel a little heartbroken I look for someone to replace the one I have lost I try to find someone to replace them as fast as I can to help the feeling go away so I have found someone and I have liked her for a long time but because I was married I never talked to her but since I am the rebound type I have started to talk to her but really have no feelings for her I just like to be around her because she makes me feel safe it has been 3 weeks since I talked to my wife so I was wondering do I really have feeling for her or is considered a rebound

[Scott S]

 

[sNIP]

 

I have started to talk to her but really have no feelings for her I just like to be around her because she makes me feel safe it has been 3 weeks since I talked to my wife so I was wondering do I really have feeling for her or is considered a rebound

 

Each of us is different, of course, so the length of a rebound period varies widely between individuals. This can be anywhere from several months to several years. A lot depends on the nature of the former relationship. A love relationship of many years (such as a marriage) will almost always entail a longer recovery.

 

I do feel safe in saying that after only 3 weeks you are still in a rebound period. What you are feeling right now is a need to fill a void in your life. Nature abhors a vacuum, and human emotions are no different.

 

What happens at this time is this need, plus the novelty of a new relationship. These combine to make for very strong emotions, which can result in making poor choices. Which is why rebound relationships are not noted for their success.

 

Hope this helps!

 

______________________________________________

If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be. - Yogi Berra

[whichwayisup]

Yes, I believe this is re-bound. Unless you have no feelings for your wife anymore and you aren't emotionally invested in the marriage anymore, then I would say she isn't a rebound...BUT, I know just from reading your words that you're in pain - And that is what you're reacting to - You need to feel needed, loved and desired.

 

Scott S has wise words, listen to what he has said.

[carmaenforcer]

I am not against "the rebound relationship", I think it's a needed part of the recovery process for some and just has gotten a bad wrap. To be fair to the other person just tell them that you just got out of something serious and want to take things slow, but don't mention the past other than that and be sure to give the new person all the respect and affection they deserve. Be careful not to make the new person pay for the others mistakes. Your Wife was obviously a liar and a cheat and doesn't deserve taking up any more of your life, cut her off like a gangrenous limb and consider yourself lucky to be done with her.

[luvtoto]

I have been seperated with my wife for a little over a month (she had a guy friend whom have been friends with for a long time and she started to develop feelings for him) and then she says she wants to seperate she needed space to evaluate us and focus on her career so I gave her her space and about 3 days later after our seperation they mutually brake things off.

or that's what they wanted you to think.

 

He was developing feelings also and didn't want things to go any further because she was married and since she was married she didn't want to feelings the get any stonger so we continually have talks about getting back together and I thought we were going to work things out until I was looking at her phone and one of her text messages she had written to the guy that she wanted to **ck she had a bad day and for him to call her.

Ouch! & yea, that's just nasty.

 

At first I couldn't find my breath I was in such shock but later was really pissed off but not really hurt but felt betryed and lied to I guess because I knew they had been together already so I guess I expected it so now I don't talk to her at all I can't even look her in the eyes

You don't feel the hurt right now cause you are in shock. I know how it feels, trust me.

 

Now I am the type of guy who is the rebound type when I feel a little heartbroken I look for someone to replace the one I have lost I try to find someone to replace them as fast as I can to help the feeling go away so I have found someone and I have liked her for a long time but because I was married I never talked to her but since I am the rebound type I have started to talk to her but really have no feelings for her I just like to be around her because she makes me feel safe it has been 3 weeks since I talked to my wife so I was wondering do I really have feeling for her or is considered a rebound

You definitely need to talk to someone! You would really benefit yourself later on to try living alone for awhile. Try facing your "scared to be alone" demons!

 

Also, a relationship is a rebound relationship when the core of your union is based solely on the pain you are currently going through. You two become obsessed with talking about *her*. You become dependent on your rebound person to listen to your problems.