lilmoma1973 Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I made an appt with counselor about my daughter and her attitude. Some of you know the way she has been giving us trouble with her attitude and we was at our wits end so we brought in a couselor..I have an appt on Monday at 11am . Counselor returned my call about my daughter and he wanted to know a little background on the family .. He asked questions about my h and asked me if my h was showed anger like my daughter. I told him yes and explained some things that happened in the past.. The counselor then asked me if only me and my daughter come to the first visit and h will get my h in another time.. So i called my h and told him that i had appt and told him the time an h said he was going !! So i told him that he only wanted Haley that was it and he still continue to say i will go!! Do you think the counselor will be mad if i bring h? Hopefully he will have to work and can't get off ... Opinions on what you think . Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I think its great you are going to try and seek some help for her and for you all so you can find out what may be going on. I think its a little odd that a family counselor wouldn't want both parents at the visit, but maybe he just wants you and your daughter there for the first visit because you're the one with her more, not sure though. Since the counselor said he just wanted you and her there, if your husband is adamant about going, you might want to call the counselor back and at least tell him your husband wants to come as well. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 I think its great you are going to try and seek some help for her and for you all so you can find out what may be going on. I think its a little odd that a family counselor wouldn't want both parents at the visit, but maybe he just wants you and your daughter there for the first visit because you're the one with her more, not sure though. Since the counselor said he just wanted you and her there, if your husband is adamant about going, you might want to call the counselor back and at least tell him your husband wants to come as well. Jade Thanks for the reply...Yeah i thought so too.. Maybe he isn't going to even talk with me !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I took your post to mean that the counselor only wanted to talk to your daughter at the first session. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 He can go, but trust me, that therapist will NOT allow him to be part of the session. If he makes a huge stink, let him do just that. The therapist can handle your husband. Him and his ego. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 I took your post to mean that the counselor only wanted to talk to your daughter at the first session. Yes Touche i am assuming so ! Not sure though.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 He can go, but trust me, that therapist will NOT allow him to be part of the session. If he makes a huge stink, let him do just that. The therapist can handle your husband. Him and his ego. Yeah that is what i was thinking too WWIU .. H just said he thought we both should be there in suuport of her.. I understand that and all have a feeling this counselor will probably step on my h's toes like the marriage counselor did.. H never wants to acknowledge he has a hand in anything .. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 It's fine if he wants to go, sit in the waiting room...I thought you meant he wanted to be in the room...Which then made me think WHY he would want to do that, unless it was to protect himself from anything she might say that he could be doing that has made her act out. I do hope for all the best and the therapy will help your daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Yeah for you! I'm glad for the update. Thanks! Is the therapist going to talk to you as well as Haley? Or just Haley? I'm confused. Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 A lot depends upon the age of the child, the problem and how it affects the family. We've had counselling for our older son a few times, sometimes the counsellor would meet with me first and then just my son, sometimes with both me, my son's Dad and my son - come to think of it, it's been different each time but the behavioral problems varied too. WWIU is right, if the counsellor decides s/he only wants to meet with your daughter, the two of you will wait in the waiting room. Better prep your hubby for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 A lot depends upon the age of the child, the problem and how it affects the family. We've had counselling for our older son a few times, sometimes the counsellor would meet with me first and then just my son, sometimes with both me, my son's Dad and my son - come to think of it, it's been different each time but the behavioral problems varied too. WWIU is right, if the counsellor decides s/he only wants to meet with your daughter, the two of you will wait in the waiting room. Better prep your hubby for that. The counselor said he might talk with me but not my h so i don't know what will happen.. My h admitted tonight that he played a major part with the way our daughter the way she acts ,I was really shocked when he told his son this.. So hopefully he will open up when counseling start because he won't go back to marriage counselor because he had his toes stepped on and im sure that will happen with the counselor.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 Yeah for you! I'm glad for the update. Thanks! Is the therapist going to talk to you as well as Haley? Or just Haley? I'm confused. Thanks for the advice and glad i decided to go with the counselor...For the first visit he said we will discuss the issues at hand .. i did talk to him on the phone for 30 mins and he asked me questions about the things going on and asked did my h have a temper and how he handled it!! pm if you will like and i will tell you more ... Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 I am glad you a geting help for your dd. I think the counselor might think if H is there you daughter might not be able to speak freely. Don't you wish you could just hold them and make all thier problems go away? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 I am glad you a geting help for your dd. I think the counselor might think if H is there you daughter might not be able to speak freely. Don't you wish you could just hold them and make all thier problems go away? Thanks, Hotgurl and appreciate all the advice given by you all on LS:) .. Don't know what i would have done if i didn't have a place to vent about my issue with her and h !! Thanks Yeah i sure do wish that would make all the problems go away, but it won't and now i have to deal with it and get a third party point of view professionally . Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 chin up moma, It will get better. But sometimes with counseling in the begaging it can get worse before it gets better because it stirs the pot and a lot of repressed feelings etc are brought up but once they are dealt with things get so much better. My daughter is similar she sometimes expresess her hurt as anger. Link to post Share on other sites
clandestinidad Posted January 14, 2006 Share Posted January 14, 2006 I'm so glad it worked out w/ insurance and what-not!! Looks like its headed in the right direction, and should be a very positive/helpful time for Haley! I wish you all the best on Monday, and thereafter too.....this will really be good for yall!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted January 14, 2006 Author Share Posted January 14, 2006 I'm so glad it worked out w/ insurance and what-not!! Looks like its headed in the right direction, and should be a very positive/helpful time for Haley! I wish you all the best on Monday, and thereafter too.....this will really be good for yall!!!! Thanks Kat and hopefully it does ..When i talked with the couonselor he told me he would have her minding and all and a different child withthin 6 mths guaranteed !! I hope it is shorter, patience is really wearing thin don't think i can wait a half of year of this ,been a month or two and frustrated ,since her acting this way.. H says he is going to work on that Monday so he can get a better check instead of going and said would that be ok.. I said yes he is only going to talk with her anyways . I am so glad ,cause if he went he would be mad cause im not holding back nothing!! Link to post Share on other sites
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