CentoStelle Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Hi Everyone, I'm throwing this in to see what anyone who has ever ONCE doubted their relationship seriously thinks..... "IS IT POSSIBLE TO SUSTAIN ATTRACTION - deep meaningful (yes, even amazingly passionate) attraction for years due simply to WORKING ON ONESELF ?" (This is assuming you have attracted a partner whom also works on his/herself to start with. AND ALSO, attracted you partner to begin with on the basis of physical, mental, emotional chemistry with the potential for spiritual chemistry) Link to post Share on other sites
AlmostMarried77 Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 I think its important that both sides recognise the importance of keeping the physical attraction going. Fact is if your working on yourself (I'm guessing you mean exersice and working out aswell) then you are also staying healthy. People like their partners to be healthy and healthiness in itself is attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 I think that people decide at a certain point in their lives that they've done enough growing of all sorts, thankew, and spend the rest of their days on earth coasting or sliding downhill. If your'e the sort of person who is a firm believer in lifelong learning and the constant quest for self-improvement, probably it's better to look for someone who feels the same way. However, there are a lot of people for whom introspection is about as attractive as being caught in a bear trap and I doubt that the idea of sustaining attraction by working on themselves would be of any interest to them. Too, if someone's wrapped up in an exhausting job (physically or mentally), it can rob them of the energy and peace of mind that one really needs to do that sort of introspection even if one is positively inclined to that sort of mental exercise. Link to post Share on other sites
SILLYRABBIT Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 I've been married for 5 years and when we met we were both fit, young, healthy and could not keep our hands off each other. I guess I felt recently that my wife was not as attracted to me sexually. We both had gained about 20 pounds over the years. Hers through pregnancy and mine through career change behind a desk all day. I miss her petite, perfect body but I am still overwhelminly attracted to her. My love for her plays a big part in that and I don't believe that it could change no matter what.. I have been "working on myself lately" and have lost 10 pounds and have noticed a slight interest from her lately. I promised that I would never let myself go, you know what I mean? As for her, she just had a baby 4 months ago so she is not satisfied with her looks right now. I still want to pounce on her every night but because of her dis-satisfaction with her body she is not excited about sharing herself with me yet. Patience is hard but worth it because it will be new again when it is time. Best regards Silly Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Working on yourself is half of it - such that your partner can keep that idealized version of you in close line with the reality version of you. When those two veer too far apart, attraction declines as the partner finds him/herself longing for that ideal and shunning the reality of it. The other half is how willing the other partner is to be flexible on that distance between ideal and reality. Link to post Share on other sites
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