Rockdad Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Ever read stories of how one day a guy comes home and finds an empty house and he was clueless that anything was wrong? Or one day out of the blue it's announced they are leaving? I never want to be that clueless guy. Once in a while I will ask my wife if she is truly happy and if everything is OK or am I missing something. Does anyone else do this or something like it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 I phrase it a bit differently, asking what he likes best about our marriage & sharing my favorite parts. Then I try to make sure he gets a steady dose of what is working for him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Out of curiosity, how do you phrase the question? I'll also add, when reading the most of these "clueless" posts, the vast majority have ignored three red flags, six warnings and nine high alerts... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 LOL. Yes, I periodically send a request for production of documents to her lawyer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Out of curiosity, how do you phrase the question? I'll also add, when reading the most of these "clueless" posts, the vast majority have ignored three red flags, six warnings and nine high alerts... Mr. Lucky There are some people who aren't very insightful and there are people who don't want to know, too. Link to post Share on other sites
MetallicHue Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 I’ve caused some problems recently so I prefer not to check in myself. It seems that things are ok for now though. My wife generally lets me know when I’m in trouble anyway. But if you’re getting mixed signals/unclear maybe good just to simply ask what can I do better and offer feedback the other way too. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 I've seen this a couple of times. A guy would be deployed, he gets back to find his common law wife gone. If you ask me, that's really low. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 In my experience, if a woman is unhappy, she will complain ad nausesm. Almost to the point, I can mimic her words verbatim. I've never seen a woman not complain if there is a problem. If a guy comes home to an empty house and had no clue that his wife was unhappy, I'll bet you dollar to doughnuts that she was having an affair with some new guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 We can read each other like an open book for the most part. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rockdad Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 In my experience, if a woman is unhappy, she will complain ad nausesm. Almost to the point, I can mimic her words verbatim. I've never seen a woman not complain if there is a problem That made me laugh Link to post Share on other sites
Betrayed&Stayed Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 In my experience, if a woman is unhappy, she will complain ad nausesm. Almost to the point, I can mimic her words verbatim. I've never seen a woman not complain if there is a problem. If a guy comes home to an empty house and had no clue that his wife was unhappy, I'll bet you dollar to doughnuts that she was having an affair with some new guy. Some women complain ad nauseum, while others are conflict-avoidant to different degrees. I agree with your doughnut bet. Up until my wife's affair she was happy and we had a very active sex life. Within one month we went from having passionate sex on the side of the road to her not being able to look me in the eyes. Of course I asked her many times what's wrong. All of her responses were non-answers. My wife fell into the extreme conflict-avoidant group. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 We can read each other like an open book for the most part. My mom also used to say this about my dad, and conclude with "... and trust me, it's a long, boring story". I think she was kidding... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Yes. But we are only engaged not yet married. He tried holding things in/bottling it up but it tends to explode. When things are on our minds -- if we are not living our best lives and it is because of each other, we do not want to stand in each others way to living our best versions of our lives, basically. We do not want to be an unhappy couple. So we try and resolve issues as they both us/arise. I did a few sh*tty things recently and I felt things were "off" after... When I enquired a few times he admitted that he had doubts over my behaviour and was re - ssessing proceeding with the marriage anytime soon. It sounds morbid. It is. But we both felt a huge weight lift off our shoulders.... Often times, people know when something is off. It pays to just be honest, irrespective of how hard it is to hear:( Link to post Share on other sites
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