Daisies93 Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Hi people, I would like to share my story since I am mentally broken for years trying of finding myself. So a little background about me. So all my childhood I've been growing up basically with my mother and we have moved from my motherland to a new country where ive recieved medical care so basically always been moving and living in rented places.. my mum found her new husband and Ive been always 'unwanted' since I was always alone never had friends and always tried to find my other half.. my relationships never lasted long as well. Till I found someone from another country. And he seemed to be everything perfect I could ever imagine. When we've got married and I moved to his country - left everything behind.. left studying, left my little family and basically moved for a new life.. started of studying the language to create my new life here with him. In my opinion since weve got married he just forgot about my existence and never was mentally there for me. Time was passing.. I was thinking that is absolutely normal.. but I always found him stuck on his pc playing video games. When mornings we were waking up it ended up always with him wanting to have sex with me and then again forget for the rest of the day about my existence.. time has passed and it become something I hate doing with him and felt absolutely like no one besides I am absolutely alone in this country anyway. When we were sleeping at some point I was just over his back crying and never told him about how I feel since he is really robotic and never was mentally supportive, or even romantic.. I just found later on excuses to avoid having sex with him. Everything become emberassing with him.. to be honest I feel like I have did a huge move with my life when I have left everything behind me because of his false promises, we are almost 5 years together but unhappy. Not long ago he told me he want to divorce since I am not happy and he told me that he wishes to have a family (with someone else) bevause he "gets older", it hurted me the most since he have promised to me the same thing and I felt like I have wasted my time with him.. I told him we can divorce when I get on my feet since alone I can't go anywhere yet without having a normal job.. ( Ive been working as cleaner for more than half a year right now) at some point I will leave the house get divorced and will need to go on my own..and I just felt like left again - no needed.. it leads me to constant depression from being useless in this planet, I would never have a successful job life, happy family, beloved and everything seems just crashing in front of me.. I am not sure what I want to hear I am really hopeless and just wanted to open my heart here since I am really lonely.. I wish someone will just give me some advice or just warm words. Thank you for reading this. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 lonely? well, there are usually clubs such the Polish Club in London. Clubs for people from overseas. I hope you can find one for your countryfolk where you are living, or even start one in the nearest major town/city, if there is not one already Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Can you move back to your home country and resume your studying? Perhaps that would be the best choice so that you will have the education to get a good job to support yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 You have never really built a life for yourself with friends & people you can rely on. Your husband is not providing that for you so you have to start from scratch. Step one figure out whether you want to do that in your native country or where you are. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Well, you needn't feel useless. He's the one checked out of the marriage and apparently only in it for sex between video games, very immature and childish. By all means, give him a divorce and move on. This isn't about you being worthless. You are brave and came from a situation that wasn't very good and you have made changes trying to improve your situation, and that is all anyone can ask of a person. Get divorced, move to wherever you want to move to and get two jobs and a roommate and be on your own and I bet your self-esteem grows. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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