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Are we expecting too much from marriage?

Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 26th July 2018, 2:06 PM   #16
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Some people today really treat marriage unfairly.

They expect spouse to make up for everything they don't have in their life, and that's a lot of responsibility to place on someone's shoulders.

I don't know of any other relationship that can have so much pressure to succeed, and that, in and of itself, can often lead to failure.
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Old 26th July 2018, 3:17 PM   #17
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We're living together so no, we don't expect too much from marriage since we already know what to expect.
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Old 26th July 2018, 5:52 PM   #18
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Redheaded-squirrel, it sounds like you don't really want to marry him. If it's not what you really want, don't do it.

There is such a thing as expecting too much for marriage. There's also the opposite problem of trying to put up with more than you should have to handle.

For me, I can honestly say my marriage makes my life easier than it would be otherwise. That doesn't mean things are perfect. We get annoyed with each other from time to time. We have sex less often than most couples. But when we get annoyed with each other, we've always been able to work it out in a fairly short amount of time. Despite not having sex that often, we have other hobbies that we frequently enjoy together in our free time. That's enough for both of us.

We like the life we have together. Even if marriage didn't exist, we'd want to continue until one of us was in the grave. Marriage was simply a way to get the social recognition for the commitment we would have had made to each other anyway.

You make marriage sound like it's an institution everybody needs to enter just because they once fell in love with someone. They must have sex so many times a week. They must have 2.3 kids. They must purchase a single-family home with a white picket fence in the suburbs, and so on. My husband and i don't want kids, and as I mentioned before, we don't even have sex all that often.

The nice thing about marriage these days is that you are free to create whatever life you want together. And if the life you would be creating with somebody is not the life you want, you are free to say no to marrying them. It is no longer the 1910's where just because a girl gets romantic notions for a man who can provide for her financially, she must become a proper housewife to him.
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Old 2nd August 2018, 12:38 PM   #19
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Marriage is "becoming one" with another person. It's hard enough to become one with yourself, let alone a totally different person!
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