DH123 Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Been with my girlfriend almost a year. It's been rough I've been dealing with relationship issues regarding her past and how it made me feel but I'm trying to move past it and I'm starting to wonder if the reason why I can't get past it is because I don't find her attractive enough or I don't love her enough. She's kinda chubby and has hormone issues and has more hair than normally. Most of this still hasn't always bugged me but when it does it does. I don't know what is holding me back from being okay and moving on. Looking for ideas. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 DH123, I'm going to assume - and hope - you're fairly young. Because with maturity and experience comes the awareness that, behind that "kinda chubby" and "more hair than normally", lies a real person. And you either connect with and care about that person, or you don't. Since you seem to find her to be lacking in the qualities you want, why are you still with her? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 This relationship isn't working for you. End it. Go find somebody who floats your boat & leave her to go find a more compatible partner who can be her greatest cheerleader too. When you break up with her do not mention any of the reasons you shared here. There is no need to hurt her feelings more. Rely on the clichés: It's not working for me; we're too different; it's not you, it's me etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 If the issue you can't get over is about people she slept with in her past then there is nothing to do, you better break up and move on. Younger men rarely are able to move past these types of things. Be nice, no need to be nasty with her, just tell her you're not feeling it anymore and she deserves someone that is 100% into her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Agree with d0nnivain. End it, nicely, don't say anything unkind about her physical appearance (Chubby, Hair, etc.). There's someone else out there with whom you'll click and not have to struggle with dealing with the past, and with whom you won't be thinking about physical aspects of her that turn you off. And there will be someone out there for her who will be ok with her past and her physical aspects, maybe even like them. Be kind to you both and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 Tip. The past is always the past. Life doesn’t offer mulligans. You don’t need to know “the number”. And she doesn’t need to know yours. Hell, when you hit my age, you’re happy if you can accurately remember your own number. As for specific acts, don’t ask. Just offer. If she turns you down, she’s either not interested or has been there and didn’t like them. As for the hair issue, I suspect she’s not Wolfman whose hair grows wild with the full moon. The hair was always there. You seem to be using it as a reason to break up. Ditto for the weight. You don’t need these excuses. Don’t lay these on her on top of the trauma of a break up. It’s just cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
OneParadox Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 I hope you realize than by staying in this relationship you are not only hurting yourself but you are also hurting her. You should not lead her on anymore. She also needs to move on to find someone who truly treasures her. Win-win for everyone. Have the courage to call it quits ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
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