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My wife's "sick love" for animals is damaging our marriage


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Old 21st February 2018, 12:18 PM   #16
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I'm not jumping in this rabbit hole
What do you mean? You really think she'll try to save chickens?
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Old 21st February 2018, 12:18 PM   #17
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Don't do it, Kenji. You'll wind up with a rescue calf in the pasture like I have.


Although I'm still plotting to fill my freezer this fall, if I think I can get away with it.
Last thing I need is a rescued cow
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Old 21st February 2018, 12:19 PM   #18
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Last thing I need is a rescued cow
You really think she'll do that, not just stop eating them?
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Old 21st February 2018, 12:20 PM   #19
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What do you mean? You really think she'll try to save chickens?
I don't want to find out , but I don't think so...she already tried being a vegetarian and even a vegan, but she couldn't keep up with the diet.

Although she does support vegan/vegetarian people, her main issue is with animal abandonment, and not eating them.
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Old 21st February 2018, 12:23 PM   #20
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I don't want to find out , but I don't think so...she already tried being a vegetarian and even a vegan, but she couldn't keep up with the diet.

Although she does support vegan/vegetarian people, her main issue is with animal abandonment, and not eating them.
Then gently point that out to her maybe. Their living conditions are equally as awful as any pet you'll adopt.

It may give her some perspective.
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Old 21st February 2018, 12:25 PM   #21
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I'm not jumping in this rabbit hole

Wise man. I went through something not-quite-as-extreme-but-still-not-pleasant with my wife when we were first married. Adopt a stray dog? Check. Bring home a litter of day-old puppies from the lab animal research and resource center she worked at as a student? Check. Daughter who volunteered for a wildlife rescue and brought home possums, rabbits etc.? Check. Same daughter who's now a vet tech needing a home for the afore-mentioned calf who was orphaned and unwanted by the owners? That too.


I put up with it to a point because we have room, but I had to put the brakes on my wife early on when we were both students and barely had room for us and yes, she resented me for it. But I was a resentful mess myself and had to stand my ground. Your position is reasonable. Stick to it.
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Old 21st February 2018, 12:28 PM   #22
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I thought you were just kidding GT.

That's awesome you saved a calf! What's it's name?
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Old 21st February 2018, 12:30 PM   #23
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I thought you were just kidding GT.

That's awesome you saved a calf! What's it's name?

Rocky, although I've heard it's a bad idea to name animals you're plotting to turn into rib eyes.
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Old 21st February 2018, 1:02 PM   #24
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Does your wife have any issues related to hoarding?
I'm asking because sometimes hoarders love to collect animals as well.
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Old 21st February 2018, 1:16 PM   #25
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Does your wife have any issues related to hoarding?
I'm asking because sometimes hoarders love to collect animals as well.
That's what scares me the most...

She does not show signs of hoarding with regular stuff, however with animals...hadn't I put my foot down a couple of times, our house would be a kennel...
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Old 21st February 2018, 1:45 PM   #26
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That's what scares me the most...

She does not show signs of hoarding with regular stuff, however with animals...hadn't I put my foot down a couple of times, our house would be a kennel...
I've met a few hoarders in my volunteer work/ when my daughter was pet sitting for a lady .

Their hearts are in the right place but in the end, they often do the animals more harm than good. One person can only do so much. Just my uneducated opinion, but from what I have seen , it seems to stem from a combination of issues with past abandonment/loss with certain traits of ocd and a compassionate heart.
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Old 21st February 2018, 3:23 PM   #27
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I've met a few hoarders in my volunteer work/ when my daughter was pet sitting for a lady .

Their hearts are in the right place but in the end, they often do the animals more harm than good. One person can only do so much. Just my uneducated opinion, but from what I have seen , it seems to stem from a combination of issues with past abandonment/loss with certain traits of ocd and a compassionate heart.
Exactly, yet they refuse, or cannot, acknowledge they are not doing any good for the animals.

This is how most of the shelters work in our location...animals living in a terrible situation and "animal protectors" trying to help.

They are good people, but honestly don't do my wife any good.
The more time she spent with them, the more animals she wants to bring home.

I also have to say my wife takes medication for her anxiety issues, forgot to mention that.

Last edited by kenji_t; 21st February 2018 at 3:24 PM.. Reason: forgot to add information
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Old 22nd February 2018, 1:52 PM   #28
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I don't think your selfish. Many times couples without kids will transfer their emotions to pets. Once kids come, the pets become secondary. You didn't mention if you have children. You need to be empathetic towards her abandonment issues. Hopefully her therapist is helping her with this. If you're thinking about divorcing because of this, I'd advise for you to seek a counselor, pastor or therapist to receive wise counseling. Please don't move down this path due to jealousy.
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Old 22nd February 2018, 3:17 PM   #29
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Rocky, although I've heard it's a bad idea to name animals you're plotting to turn into rib eyes.
Give you a hundred for the skin? I'd like to tan it and make it into some boots.
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Old 22nd February 2018, 3:27 PM   #30
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Give you a hundred for the skin? I'd like to tan it and make it into some boots.

You may have seen my FB post about getting that calf. My daughter was going to keep the hide for something, but if you're serious I can ask her if she'd sell it to you. It won't be for another few months though.
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