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How to Feel About Wife Sleeping on Co-Workers Couch After Drinking


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Old 17th January 2018, 4:14 PM   #61
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Barging into someone’s house is a good way to get killed in Texas. We got guns down here. Don’t do that.

Find another way to deal with it. But, don’t run up in nobody’s house. You might not be walking out.

Don’t know where OP is, but that wouldn’t be good advice ‘round these parts.


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Old 17th January 2018, 5:19 PM   #62
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You know better than that...

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Originally Posted by MidKnightDreams View Post
Barging into someoneís house is a good way to get killed in Texas. We got guns down here. Donít do that.

Find another way to deal with it. But, donít run up in nobodyís house. You might not be walking out.

Donít know where OP is, but that wouldnít be good advice Ďround these parts.

More that likely they should ask you in. If you had a woman in your house, married, your gonna shoot her husband????

I that situation, your going to jail even with the castle law. Even if you got off in the end, it would cost you a fortune. And you may not get off. I am familiar with these types of cases. If it is a known thug doing a home invasion, no problem.

Kill a husband looking for his wife, your are going to jail at the very least.

And yeah, I live in Texas, born and raised.

I am not saying start a fight. I'm saying assertively invite yourself in.

But that aside, you know as well as I do if your wife pulled something like this you would be down there unannounced in a heartbeat.

If it really was innocent, the situation I mean, you can cool down when you verify it. Your wife would know not to pull that crap again.

But this guy is just letting it go on under his nose. We both know this was a ploy to gas light him while she was screwing this guy. A grown married woman, that is not screwing around, would have used uber home, or told her husband to come get her, or not gotten too drunk in the first place.

Super weak.

And for everyone that says I am jumping to conclusions... guaranteed that if OP plays it cool, does his detective work, he will find out that she is sleeping around...
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Old 17th January 2018, 5:38 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by ICEMAN69 View Post
Why would his wife have to even tell him where she was at if she wanted to do this guy? She could have made up a dozen other stories if she was hiding the fact that she was screwing this guy. Doesn't make sense to me. My guess . . she's trying to get you to think and it's probably a jealously move. She wants to see if she can get you to notice her for some reason. Perhaps she doesn't think you notice her enough, or perhaps she feels overlooked or taken for granted. I've been around women who play games and this is right out of their playbook. And before the ladies start berating me, yes . . I'm aware that guys play games as well.
I'm a huge fan of how you left out 95% of what was written, most of the circumstances surrounding this and a bunch of other things so you can come up with an explanation that makes very little sense and is even more outlandish. Given you also wrote like five responses in as many posts, all of whom could have been written as a single one, that's some dedication.

Why? Because giving half truths, especially if someone has a spouse as unwilling as OP to even consider such a thing is way safer. This way, when he hears something, anything really she can just brush it off and tell him she told him so. The best lies have a kernel of truth in them to give them credibility and make them hold up to scrutiny.

OP appears to do have some doubts, some tiny voice in the back of his head telling him something is wrong, a lingering bad feeling but he simply does not want to consider this. This isn't exactly the first time this has happened, he was here before. He appears to love this woman very much and thus is mostly seeking for reassurance and other explanations for her behaviour to calm himself.


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And for everyone that says I am jumping to conclusions... guaranteed that if OP plays it cool, does his detective work, he will find out that she is sleeping around...
Thing is, nothing here fits together. People did the timeline of events and it is dodgy to an extreme degree. They've been inquiring about some points such as his wife knowing that with the kids at home he couldn't make it out when she extended her invitation.

OP wont do his detective work, because ultimatively OP doesn't want to know. He doesn't even want to consider this. We have another thread of his where his wife did similar things. Apparently she's runnin roughshod over him for quite some time.

It really feels as if giving her a free pass for such activities as long as she does not tell him might just be the easier solution at this point.
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Old 17th January 2018, 5:56 PM   #64
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OP

In case this has not been mentioned enough times, your wife is CHEATING ON YOU! I don't care that we only know 0.001% of your relationship, she's CHEATING! You can take that to the bank!

Furthermore, I don't care that cheating is not the topic of your thread and you asked a very specific question regarding the appropriateness of a wife spending the night over a co-workers house--I'm going to make this about infidelity. She's totally cheating dude. How do I know? Because she just is.

Sorry, but if you do not like to hear the chorus of indictments of her infidelity ad nauseam, then I suggest you start your own thread and ask a very specific question unrelated to her infidelity... oh wait
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Old 17th January 2018, 6:23 PM   #65
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Again, I know no one wants to accept their being cheated on, but that really was not my concern, just more that she is too trusting of other people in a situation like that and that she could have been taken advantage or worse.
We're in agreement, someone "is too trusting of other people in a situation like that". Except it's not your wife...

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Old 17th January 2018, 6:25 PM   #66
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Originally Posted by BluesPower View Post
More that likely they should ask you in. If you had a woman in your house, married, your gonna shoot her husband????

I that situation, your going to jail even with the castle law. Even if you got off in the end, it would cost you a fortune. And you may not get off. I am familiar with these types of cases. If it is a known thug doing a home invasion, no problem.

Kill a husband looking for his wife, your are going to jail at the very least.

And yeah, I live in Texas, born and raised.

I am not saying start a fight. I'm saying assertively invite yourself in.

But that aside, you know as well as I do if your wife pulled something like this you would be down there unannounced in a heartbeat.

If it really was innocent, the situation I mean, you can cool down when you verify it. Your wife would know not to pull that crap again.

But this guy is just letting it go on under his nose. We both know this was a ploy to gas light him while she was screwing this guy. A grown married woman, that is not screwing around, would have used uber home, or told her husband to come get her, or not gotten too drunk in the first place.

Super weak.

And for everyone that says I am jumping to conclusions... guaranteed that if OP plays it cool, does his detective work, he will find out that she is sleeping around...
Nah.

Iím different from most men. One thing Iím absolutely certain of is that I can get another woman. The only women Iíd risk my life for are blood related - my daughter, mother, sisters, and maybe my nieces. A wife that decided to deceive me to be with another man? There is no way Iím breaking into another manís house trying to prove anything. She made a choice. Iíd just chalk it up to the game and move on.

My life is too valuable to risk it over a woman who chose to be with someone else. Iíve never been that desperate.
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Old 17th January 2018, 6:26 PM   #67
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Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by OneLov View Post
OP

In case this has not been mentioned enough times, your wife is CHEATING ON YOU! I don't care that we only know 0.001% of your relationship, she's CHEATING! You can take that to the bank!

Furthermore, I don't care that cheating is not the topic of your thread and you asked a very specific question regarding the appropriateness of a wife spending the night over a co-workers house--I'm going to make this about infidelity. She's totally cheating dude. How do I know? Because she just is.

Sorry, but if you do not like to hear the chorus of indictments of her infidelity ad nauseam, then I suggest you start your own thread and ask a very specific question unrelated to her infidelity... oh wait
OP lead readers to a pervious thread, one in which his wife cheated and left him for the other guy. Now, he is here asking if that same woman is inappropriate in spending the night at yet another man's house. He lead this thread into cheating.
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Old 17th January 2018, 7:16 PM   #68
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OP, I realize we don't know you or your wife personally. I truly get that, but I have to ask, is there a reason you obviously avoid the topic of your wife potentially cheating? I am guessing that the past has put a big scar on you and this is just too difficult to address.

I have in the past suggested a phrase such as:

"Honey, I know you want me to have the utmost trust and faith in you. I also think we both agree that your decision to sleep over at the OMs house was a very poor decision and creates a lot of stress on us. I am thinking that since you're sure it was just a drunken sleepover on the sofa and no interaction occurred, I would like to have a polygraph scheduled to help give me the peace of mind that I know you want me to have. You okay with that???"

See what she says...if she does anything other than jump at the opportunity, there's more that what she's telling you. BTW, I would ask about more than what went on with that one guy but make it more general as in "since you've been married, have you have any sexual interaction with any other man other than your husband?" This would include the co-worker and her boss....
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Old 17th January 2018, 7:25 PM   #69
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Really donít understand why she wouldnít have ubered home, or why you didnít go pick her up.
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Old 18th January 2018, 10:19 AM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ICEMAN69 View Post
Why would his wife have to even tell him where she was at if she wanted to do this guy? She could have made up a dozen other stories if she was hiding the fact that she was screwing this guy. Doesn't make sense to me. My guess . . she's trying to get you to think and it's probably a jealously move. She wants to see if she can get you to notice her for some reason. Perhaps she doesn't think you notice her enough, or perhaps she feels overlooked or taken for granted. I've been around women who play games and this is right out of their playbook. And before the ladies start berating me, yes . . I'm aware that guys play games as well.
OP already knew where she parked her car, it was at this coworkers apt.

If she was able to drive to a female friends place, she could drive home.
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Old 18th January 2018, 10:22 AM   #71
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Originally Posted by ICEMAN69 View Post
Maybe she's a lightweight? Maybe "too hammered" for her is 4-5 drinks over 3-4 hours. There are a lot of variables here and a lot of people jumping to conclusions. OP obviously knows his wife and he's not jumping to all these irrational conclusions.
She remembers quite a lot for being hammered drunk. She has answered everything OP has asked her.
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Old 18th January 2018, 11:18 AM   #72
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Have you actually asked her if she did anything?

Why when she returned your text did she not ask you to came get her?

She actually stated that Josh was helping her and that she might need to crash here, why did you not respond to this?

Were you giving her permission by not responding?
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Old 19th January 2018, 11:24 AM   #73
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Hi Folks, from what b2121, has written in his OP and subsequent posts it is apparent that he is not overly concerned as to whether his wife is cheating or not. He is, however, very concerned that his wife looks above reproach based on the way she appears in the eyes of others. At face value she must appear chaste irrespective of whether she is actually so or not. I am basing this on his cool and unruffled reaction to some rather provocative posts by others virtually stating his wife is cheating on him. Guess the OP is reconciled to his wife sleeping around as long as she does'nt rub it in peoples faces. If that be the case then I guess all the prophets of doom on here have been wasting their time.

What's that saying again 'You can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink'? Best wishes to all.
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