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Drama between my parents and wife.


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Old 23rd December 2017, 5:26 PM   #31
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You don't start standing up and protecting your marriage you won't have one for long.

Better wake up and grow up.

Do you like living at home with your mom and dad?
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Old 23rd December 2017, 10:28 PM   #32
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You don't start standing up and protecting your marriage you won't have one for long.

Better wake up and grow up.

Do you like living at home with your mom and dad?
I couldnít agree more. Plus, stand up once and you likely will have established the boundary. You wonít have to keep doing it. Give in now and theyíll never take no for an answer.

Be nice but firm. They can get angry but your immediate family is your wife and your children. They come first. Always.
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Old 24th December 2017, 2:25 AM   #33
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First, my parents are judgmental, always bully to get their way, and immature.
This is something my wife has had a hard time dealing with.

We seemed to get over this problem over the last year but now we have a new problem. My parents want to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. My mom has already planned a vacation and booked a house for August of 2018. The dates worked fine for us because it was right before our son's first day of 1st grade. However, the school just updated the calendar for next year and the 1st day is one week earlier then normal. This means we will have to leave the vacation three early of a 7 day vacation and will miss the celebration on the 18th which is their anniversary.

My parents think it is crazy to do so. They won't re-book for a week earlier. They want him to miss the first two days of school. My wife on the other hand is dead set on our son going to the first day. Kindergarten is only mornings and 1st grade is all school day. It will be a large change for him. Therefore, my wife says he has to go to the first day. However, if we don't stay for the 18th, the celebration my parents will go nuts. I am stuck in the middle and need advice. Thanks
Your wife and kids are your first priority period. You are married to your wife and not your parents, she comes first.
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Old 24th December 2017, 2:29 AM   #34
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Thanks Davey. I think you are right to back the wifey on this one. Short frequent visits are also a good idea. When kids are old enough I will take them by myself too.
Wrong thing to do. If your parents canít be nice why should your wife have to pay the price.

If they canít be nice to the wife they canít see HER kids. Sorry but you need to stand up for your wife, that is your job as a husband.

Would you allow others to treat your wife like your parents have? If not why are you letting them treat her that way.
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Old 24th December 2017, 9:30 AM   #35
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You can delay the start of the trip and bring your
family for the last weekend and make the party.

Kid does not miss the first days of school. You just
have the kid miss Friday the 17th. You get a flight
for Thursday evening, if not available you get a flight
early Thursday.

I would not go as originally planed and send wife and
kids back home alone and you stay there. No no, no,
and to make myself clear to you I said: No.
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Old 24th December 2017, 9:58 AM   #36
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Looks like drama is not over. Parents are not talking to me now. Throwing an emotional fit. I guess not talking is good. Better then talking to them.

For them to not see how their petulance will adversely affect their grandchild, you may be better off with them not talking to you.
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Old 24th December 2017, 10:17 AM   #37
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Looks like drama is not over. Parents are not talking to me now. Throwing an emotional fit. I guess not talking is good. Better then talking to them.
My goodness. They really are big babies! Is it both of them, or just one of them who influences the other?

If this was 5th grade, I'd say just skip the first couple days of school. Not much happens anyway. But it's first grade! And, like you said, the first time he'll be going to school for a full day. It's very important. You're making the right decision.
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Old 24th December 2017, 10:57 AM   #38
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Looks like drama is not over. Parents are not talking to me now. Throwing an emotional fit. I guess not talking is good. Better then talking to them.
Yeah, I have found that older people get unreasonably sensitive and offended for very odd things. I guess it's comes part and parcel with getting old. My parents are the same way. Sometimes you need to walk on egg shells to figure out how not to get them mad.

Not sure how you should get out of your predicament. But I am sure they will get over it and start taking to you again.
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Old 24th December 2017, 11:12 AM   #39
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..the first time he'll be going to school for a full day. It's very important. You're making the right decision.
^^ this! Its a big day for your kid in his life at this stage.
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Old 24th December 2017, 1:02 PM   #40
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50 years!
50 years!
and you, their son is thinking of missing their celebration all for the sake of some child who will not even remember his first day of school.
Your parents will be heartbroken if you are not there.
Why on earth would you even think of asking them to move the date...?
smh

If they are celebrating 50 years they are not young, this may be the last year you even have parents...
Think on...
At first I thought it wouldn't such a big deal for the child to miss the first couple of days of school but then I thought about and I remembered all the many times my mother moved and put me in new schools. I know it's not the same thing exactly but it's similar.

If the OP's child misses the the first few days of school it will be just like he is the new kid, walking into a class where everyone else knows more than him. The other kids will already know where they're supposed to sit, where their stuff goes, what they do in the morning, what they do in the afternoon, etc. It sounds small and insignificant to adults but I remember so well being that kid who has to go into a class where everyone is a stranger, strangers who know the routine and I don't even know where the bathroom is. Sounds dumb to adults but it's scary and intimidating to a little kid.

This isn't for the sake of some kid, it's the OP's flesh and blood child and he has to put the well being of his child ahead of his parents. The parents anniversary is no small event but when you marry and start a family that family takes priority over parents. I also don't agree that the child won't remember. I remember my first day of first grade very well. I sat beside a girl with long dark hair in pig tails. Her name was Heidi and on the first day we became best friends for the entire year. In second grade my mom had moved and I had to go to a new school and I never saw my friend Heidi again. I also remember everytime I had to start over again in a new school and how scary it was. I went to 3 different schools in grade 2 alone. I'm in my fifties now. Memories don't get erased at a certain age. Anything that is painful or stands out from run of the mill days is remembered.
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Old 24th December 2017, 5:03 PM   #41
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Looks like drama is not over. Parents are not talking to me now. Throwing an emotional fit. I guess not talking is good. Better then talking to them.
This is manipulative behavior which is meant to control you.

Don't give in. Let your parents pout and give the silent treatment like little kids.
In time, they will learn that the family you have created with your wife is your top priority.

Merry Christmas! Enjoy your son's first day of school!
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Old 24th December 2017, 5:25 PM   #42
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My parents would move the date, as they woudnt want any grandchild yo miss the first day at school.

The first day is A BIG DEAL.
__________________
'Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to'
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Old 26th December 2017, 5:32 PM   #43
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Finally spoke to my mom. She used a lot of emotional manipulation. Saying how she cries for a week. Whar did she do to deserve this? Looks like this will cause a huge shift in our relationship. I know I cannot back down which I didnít but just stressed out.
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Old 26th December 2017, 5:38 PM   #44
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I would also be stressed, because I like harmony and having a good relationship with my parents is important.

But, on the other hand, her behavior is so melodramatic and over the top... I would also be most amused. Stick to your guns. You can't reward this kind of behavior. It is downright ridiculous and not very becoming of a grown woman...
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Old 26th December 2017, 6:27 PM   #45
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You MUST back your wife on this. No question. Don't be manipulated and don't be afraid to express how you feel this is manipulation and emotional blackmail.
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