Love and Marriage - A positive story for a change

[Steve51]

If I think about living without my wife, I tear up and I do not cry normally. I never cried fighting in Vietnam even when my fiancé cheated on me a few months before the wedding. I did not cry when my next relationship ended when my stoned and insatiable live in girlfriend walked in on me and my friends to ask us to gangbang her. Yet I still believed in love.

 

One day after work I did something I never did before taking subway trains my whole life. I ran for a train during rush time when a train would leave every 5 minutes. Do not know why, but I did. I saw my wife on that train and I talked to her. To make this short I will say that there was stalking involved and the fact that she was 4' 11" at 79 lbs. while I was ripped from combat and stood at 6' weighing 170 lbs. She was also a virgin in all senses of that word and I had about 30 sex partners that I can remember. Three weeks after we met we were engaged and next month we celebrate our 45th wedding anniversary.

 

My wife thinks she is way out of my league and still asks me why I even asked her out on a date much less married her. I was the hot guy in the town, the one girls wanted to date to feel that they were in the same league as the cheerleaders and teen model I had dated. My wife and her friends knew about me and seen my picture passed among their school mates, years before they met me. My wife married the guy that they all wanted and after the life she lived as the virgin who never had a boyfriend, was never asked for sex and who went to her prom with a friend's cousin. She is so greatful for giving her a lifestyle she never dreamed she could have. I keep telling her that I am the greatful one but she refuses to believe it. No matter.

 

My wife never had to work unless she wanted to which was seldom. She is unable to have kids and I never mentioned it, not even if we argued. I had to give up a college scholarship when she became bedridden so that I could pay off some of the mounting medical bills. I never brought that up but she knows and has devoted her life to pleasing me and I did the same. Our marriage was such that we each did what we were best at and no one had final say. Not once did either of us do something that the other was against. We always were able to compromise.

 

Every day I tell my wife that I love her and show her how desirable I find her by word and deed. Even though she is 65 she feels like the hottest 65 year old in the world and having some of her best orgasm of her life. The other day she passed out for a second or two from the sheer intensity. The thing I did that made her love me even more made her devote herself to me.

 

Since my wife was a virgin at 20 and had not went past second base before meeting me, she had never explored her sexuality. She started to fantasize about sex with women but back in our time she would have been labeled a lesbian when that had very serious life altering consequences. No one accepted bisexuality, not even the gay/lesbian community. I suspected this due to various things too many to discuss. My wife struggled with her need to be sexually faithful to me and her need for the love of a woman too. Another long story but my wife did someone as did it that ended up with us forming what we now know is called a poly triad. The girls never had sex with each other unless I was part of it or at least in the room. Never got a satisfactory answer when I questioned them other than it was more fun with me. I think it was because they knew they were not lesbians but the rest of the world did. With me in the picture they were merely acting like porn actresses putting on a show for me. Believe me, I tried by leaving the room only for them to stop what they were doing, start talking about shopping or something, and then continuing when I got back. My wife said it felt like cheating if I did not take part.

 

To tell the truth, I did not ask many questions because every night was a threesome and I am not fool. Many husbands I met in forums for spouses of bisexual women felt that bi or not, monogamy was required. The religious ones felt it was an abomination and forbade their wives to even think about it. My wife is eternally greatful that I accepted her sexuality and let her girlfriend move in with us and be in our life for the next 30 years of our marriage. I believed in putting our marriage first, even before monogamy. Monogamy is something society created to bring order to the world and not our natural state. We built our marriage on the certain knowledge that we would be with each other until death do us part, not on the notion that I owned the rights to my wife's body/sexual pleasure.

 

Despite this we lived a conservative life. I work 3 piece suits and custom made clothes. I was a the picture of a successful business man with a long term and happy marriage. For us, it worked. We looked at a 50% divorce rate and even higher cheating rate and wondered why we would want to follow a marriage model that fails half of the time when we would not buy a car under with those same odds.

 

There is a lot more, a whole book full of things we did and adventures we shared. We relocated 13 times and are living in our 9th house. I just wanted to interject something positive. To tell the truth reading about other people's marriages here was an eye opener. I told myself that the posts must be false as it seemed that people were marrying people in the hope that they would change after marriage. The problems they post about I found difficult to believe in a loving marriage. I assumed that most married people were like us, minus the poly stuff, and love conquered all.

 

One thing I am not proud of. When I was 19-20 and having being cheated on twice, I figured that monogamy was one of those things that you promised with a wink and a nod because you knew it was not true. Much like promising never to lie to each other and that is never the case. Show me a husband who when asked told his wife that she did look fat and unattractive and I will show you a liar.

 

All of our friends and siblings chose to go down with the monogamy ship rather than try something different. What could it hurt as if it did not work out they would be in the same situation as if they divorced. Anyway, this place and TAM have shown me that marriages can be very different much as mine was with the exception that mine was good different while the others were bad different. I love with my whole being so I have difficulty in understanding how people who once loved each other could act as they do. Heck, I was overseas for months at a time but even though I could have guiltless sex with other women with no chance of my wife knowing, I never did. In fact I had two women trying to seduce me tell me to stop talking about my wife.

 

I think that too many marry thinking that people will change after they are married but adults rarely change. The other problem is that courtship love blinds us to the faults of each other. All I know that with two strikes against me in the relationship department, I never gave up on love and marriage. Most men would kill for the life I have. I am one of those people who has everything go his way. Even the bad things that happened to me turned out to be good. My ex fiancé cheated on her husband and is married to a woman for 23 years. The ex girlfriend got hooked on crack, turned tricks, cleaned up and then became a stripper who married a wealthy and much older man who paid her well for lap dancers. I cannot imagine how bad my life with have been had those two women did not cheat on me. Both contacted on my Facebook page about 10 years ago to tell me their sad tale and apologise. Each wondered how different their sad lives would have been if they had remained faithful to me. For me the most interesting thing was that all four women that I have loved in my life are bisexual and yet I did not know that until well into the relationship. We cannot figure out why I attract bi women but did find out why my wife did. Be flexible in your marriage and accept that it is better to seek the safety of a different morality then to drown in the one that is not working for you.