Husband is hurt i wont talk to his mom

[adna89]

My husband gets hurt when i do not greet or want to talk to his mother when he calls her ,She and i never got along while we lived with her and he knows it..Now when we moved she pretends we are all just fine and asks about me and he now says i should do the same.Is he right to demand that from me?

[CarrieT]

Yes. If she can pretend than you can too.

 

It is this sort of thing we do for our spouses; we make the peace to soothe ruffled feathers.

 

Besides, what does carrying all that angst on your shoulders get you? Take the high road....

[basil67]

I agree with Carrie. Put the past in the past and put on a facade of niceness.

[Toodaloo]

Yes.

 

You are being petty.

 

He is not asking you live with her again and for his sake the least you could do is be civil to the woman.

[BaileyB]

Yes, he's not asking for anything more than a polite and social greeting. If she can do that for you, then you should offer the same.

[elaine567]

If you love your husband then you need to politely speak to his mother on the telephone, it is no big deal really.

He will be feeling horrible, as after all it is his mother and you are his wife and he is stuck in the middle.

It will only take you minutes and the brownie points you gain from both, I guess will be worth it.

Resentment kills marriages, if he builds up resentment over you fighting with his mother, then it will not end well for you.

Better to bury the hatchet here.

[road]

Problem is MIL wants to bury the axe in the ground.

 

 

You still want to bury the axe in MIL's back.

 

 

If your H calls his mom it is his call and should not expect you or others to participate.

 

 

Now if your MIL rings the phone and you are first to the phone you should pick it up and give a cordial hello and then say let me get your son.

 

 

If MIL gets in a quick how you doin' before you get to tell let me get your son then you simply good, hope you are doing well let men get your son.

 

 

Remember she is always going to be his mom AND she is going to be the grandma one day.

 

 

Be the bigger man has always been good advice.

[flowerdream]

I had the same issue with my SIL, ,my bf had a talk to his sister and she got to understand that if he ever has to pick and choose one it's not going to be her so she started to be nice to me (which I despised actually) and every time I actually have to talk to her I feel like a hypocrite because I hate her but still make a smile, but hey sometimes you have to do that when you are in love with someone.

 

I still make a point in not sharing ANYTHING about my personal life with her. She sometimes asks stuff about me to her brother but he doesn't answer because honestly it's none of her business and that way she gets to know who's still in charge. Me. When she dares to ask anything I don't reply because I don't have to nor want to.

[Satu]

We have to at least try to cultivate good relations with the in laws.

 

It makes things easier for all concerned.

 

 

Take care.

[BettyDraper]

Yes. If she can pretend than you can too.

 

It is this sort of thing we do for our spouses; we make the peace to soothe ruffled feathers.

 

Besides, what does carrying all that angst on your shoulders get you? Take the high road....

 

I agree. I do not like my MIL because she is an ignorant and jealous woman. I refuse to stoop to her level when she insults me or throws tantrums. I am polite and kind to my MIL because she is my husband's mother.

 

My husband also bites a hole in his tongue around my mother out of love and respect for me.