cwashi04 Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 (edited) My husband and I have been married for 7 years and we have 2 beautiful children together. Lately, I have been feeling a little broken. I am currently a stay at home mom, I just had a baby 6 mos ago. He is an excellent provider and we want for nothing. But I feel abandoned most of the time. Long story short, he stopped including me in get together because me and his sis in law fell out. She is difficult to deal with and everyone knows this, but I get excluded for saying something to her when she disrespected me. Now he pretends to invite me bit its more of an after thought. He has a super hard time communicating. He will not allow me to talk to him about anything. His Snapchat name was inappropriate for a married man and I let him know that I thought it was inappropriate. He tried to insult me intelligence, like he always does, by telling me that I didn't see what I know I saw and tried to turn the tables. He ask me questions and i answer them but if I ask him, he shuts down or calls me insecure. He says that I shouldn't ask him anything because he goes to work and comes home, which he does, but he is in his phone constantly. He makes it seem as though he can't deal with me. I have dealt with him coming home and not saying a word to me for 2 years, him acting like he did not care when I lost my mother, my finding inappropriate messages to another woman, trying to get him to open up to me, trying to get our connection stronger, etc. But when he has to put in a litgle work, its almost like im not worth it and that hurts. He says that I'm crazy but doesn't seem to care that his lack of communication, disloyalty and lack of accountability are huge issues for me and I have no outlet because I can't talk to him about it. These are just a few scenarios. He is a good guy Otherwise but I don't think that he understands what his wife should mean to him and I don't think he cares. I am so conflicted because I don't want this to end my marriage but it's not fair to me either. I just need some advice. Edited August 1, 2016 by cwashi04 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 I think you have reached a point where he either agrees to marriage counselling and fixing your relationship or you seperate. He doesn't respect you and he is deaf to anything you have to say. It also sounds like he is a likely candidate to cheat on you. He seems to view you as a hinderance or an obstacle getting in his way. It's damaging to you and not likely to change until you do something to change it. Before you take action though you have to be prepared to stick to your demands and to accept the outcome, which may be divorce. It's a tough position to be in and I wish you luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 You've got yourself an arrogant, self-entitled serial cheater. My FIRST priority would be to get myself STD tested. It would be the height of naivete to think this guy isn't out screwing around when he leaves the house. His complete disdain for you and his constant contact with women speaks volumes - and NONE of it good. My next step would be brushing up my resume. You've allowed yourself to become financially dependent on this serial cheater and that will leave you with no options. Like most women in your type of situation, you'll just stay because you HAVE no other choice. Don't be one of those victims. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 He tried to insult me intelligence, like he always does, by telling me that I didn't see what I know I saw and tried to turn the tables... This is gaslighting. Google it but here is a summary. Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a victim is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception, and sanity He ask me questions and i answer them but if I ask him, he shuts down or calls me insecure. He says that I shouldn't ask him anything because he goes to work and comes home, which he does, but he is in his phone constantly... He says that I'm crazy but doesn't seem to care that his lack of communication, disloyalty and lack of accountability are huge issues for me and I have no outlet because I can't talk to him about it. This is emotional abuse. Link to post Share on other sites
SaveYourHeart Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 Honey, we're going through somewhat similar situations. The biggest thing is the gaslighting, it's disorienting and makes you feel like a crazy person. Do what I'm not brave enough to do. Leave. Link to post Share on other sites
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