thefilmguy24 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost 5 years and just recently she told me that she wanted some space and time to focus on herself and to reflect on our relationship. She hasn’t told me that we are broken up and believes that it hopes that the space will make our relationship stronger. She does love me and is just tired of me being a “man child”(I’m 33, she’s 36.) I’ll admit that I was being immature, lazy, and not being an adult by growing up and becoming the man of our family as we do have a daughter together. She feels like I’ve taken her for granted and I don’t appreciate what she does for us as she does sacrifice a lot for us as she just took a part time job along with her full time job. She told me that she wants to try this for at least 3 months and she has told me that I can contact her for our daughter and her as well. I do try not to contact her as much but I do facetime with my daughter almost every night. I have been trying to get a plan together to prove to her that I can be the guy she needs by growing up myself and saving money so we can get a place of our own( we live with her parents at the moment) and trying to get a job closer to home as I work out of town. Even though this space is killing, what hurts the most is that her birthday is coming up and few weeks and then mine is a few weeks after in August. I want to spend time with her on her birthday but I don’t want to disrespect her boundary of the space. Even then, I would want to spend time with her on my birthday. She did tell me that she’s not doing anything for her birthday and she has told me that she doesn’t want anything for her birthday. My question is, should I just ask her if I could spend her birthday with her and the same thing with mine or should I just call her and say happy birthday and leave it at that? Also would it be wrong for me to get her something for her birthday? Please let me know as I’m lost. I’m trying to be strong and grow myself but this space is tearing me up inside as I want to be with my family. Thank you for your repsonses. Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Women with minor children seldom leave the father...IMHO, somebody is waiting in the wings, and she is just doing the slow breakup... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Even though this space is killing, what hurts the most is that her birthday is coming up and few weeks and then mine is a few weeks after in August. I want to spend time with her on her birthday but I don’t want to disrespect her boundary of the space. Even then, I would want to spend time with her on my birthday. You're focused on the new paint color for the walls while the house is burning down around you. With the laundry list of issues you're facing, birthdays are pretty insignificant. Given you're in your 30's and living with her parents, I'd make getting your financial act together Job 1. Second, I'd be an actively involved co-parent. Both goals will be about overcoming obstacles (including your own inertia) and making the progress she's hoping to see. Actions will speak louder than words. If it makes you happy, call or send a simple card. Keep it low-key and low pressure... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Quite honestly, I don't blame her for 'needing space' from you. Any so-called man in his 30's who causes his girlfriend to have to work TWO jobs while she's ALSO raising your daughter all on her own - while living in her parent's house - should ask for 'space.' And lots of it. Like for the next 60 years or so. And your silly post about Birthdays - like THAT'S your biggest issue - just PROVES why she's choosing to be alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Do you have a job? Link to post Share on other sites
LastAcorn99 Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 You mentioned in your post that your girlfriend is tired of you being a man child, that she feels taken for granted and unappreciated for all her sacrifices. I believe that therein lies the clues to make your relationship work. Your girlfriend sounds like a reasonable and hardworking woman, and she is giving you time to man up. I would suggest that you do your best to prove to her that you can provide and take care of her, and your daughter. May God give you wisdom and guidance. All the best! Link to post Share on other sites
GreyKitten87 Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 After everything you just mentioned, you are worried about spending your birthdays together? This is why she needed space - you need a reality check. Why would she care about her birthday when she doesn't have a supportive partner pulling his weight at home? I'm having a really hard time comprehending that you are this concerned about a birthday when the entire relationship is in ruins??? Sounds like the mentality of a 10 year old (sorry if rude, but that's the truth). If you really want her to be happy on her birthday (and any day moving forward) you would get your act together ASAP and do your part to be a better partner instead of a man-child. Link to post Share on other sites
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