betrayedninja Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 My other half and I have been together for 16 years now, we're not married as could never afford a wedding, we are both shy people so there was never any lovey dovey shows off affection anyway but as the years have gone on I have come to notice something is missing, we seem to be more like friends than anything, I don't like to raise the subject incase I am totally wrong but even more scary is what if I am right? There is just little things that occur that lead me to this conclusion, for example last year her grandmother passed away, I remember at the funeral as they lowered the body to the ground all the couple were standing around holding hands etc, I made a move to hold her hand she put her arm around her brother, I mean in such at such an emotional event you go to the person who maters most to you and well that wasn't me, or even this week we had a family birthday party, all the couples were sitting around together chatting to other couples, she was stood at the other side of the room all night talking to anyone and everyone bar me while I sat like a plonker by myself all night. Thats just a couple of things but there a countless others that leads me to my conclusion. Do you think I am overthinking? We have also not slept in the same bed for about 2-3 year, she sleeps with our son, that started when he used to play up in the middle of the night its a habit that stuck, she probably could get out but choses to sleep in there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 No relationship is older than one day. They need to be refreshed every day, with a new investment of love, commitment, and passion. If they aren't, they either die, or become stunted from a lack of feeding. Sometimes people just forget to invest. To be blunt, I think your relationship is neither alive nor dead, but undead. I'll say no more now, because I just wanted to give you something to think about. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SunnyWeather Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 curious, when was the last time you asked her out on a 'date'? romance seems to be the first thing to go in a marriage, especially when kids show up. you mentioned how you miss affection. when was the last time you showed her any? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 curious, when was the last time you asked her out on a 'date'? *romance seems to be the first thing to go in a marriage, especially when kids show up. you mentioned how you miss affection. when was the last time you showed her any? *If you read the OP's other thread, you'll see that it's not clear that there was any there in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
SunnyWeather Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 *If you read the OP's other thread, you'll see that it's not clear that there was any there in the first place. " we are both shy people so there was never any lovey dovey shows off affection anyway" I read this more as not a lot of PDA, but you could be right that it includes no romantic gestures either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 " we are both shy people so there was never any lovey dovey shows off affection anyway" I read this more as not a lot of PDA, but you could be right that it includes no romantic gestures either. People tend to naturally express the feelings that they have. It could be that these people are expressing their indifference, or absence of feeling. Every behaviour is some kind of communication. Even our silence, when we are alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 My other half and I have been together for 16 years now, we're not married as could never afford a wedding Why not ask her to marry you ??? The answer would tell you quite a bit... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 My other half and I have been together for 16 years now, we're not married as could never afford a wedding, we are both shy people so there was never any lovey dovey shows off affection anyway but as the years have gone on I have come to notice something is missing, we seem to be more like friends than anything, I don't like to raise the subject incase I am totally wrong but even more scary is what if I am right? There is just little things that occur that lead me to this conclusion, for example last year her grandmother passed away, I remember at the funeral as they lowered the body to the ground all the couple were standing around holding hands etc, I made a move to hold her hand she put her arm around her brother, I mean in such at such an emotional event you go to the person who maters most to you and well that wasn't me, or even this week we had a family birthday party, all the couples were sitting around together chatting to other couples, she was stood at the other side of the room all night talking to anyone and everyone bar me while I sat like a plonker by myself all night. Thats just a couple of things but there a countless others that leads me to my conclusion. Do you think I am overthinking? We have also not slept in the same bed for about 2-3 year, she sleeps with our son, that started when he used to play up in the middle of the night its a habit that stuck, she probably could get out but choses to sleep in there. weddings cost very little...you can have a civil ceremony...and if it was important to you..that's exactly what you would do. So do not try to feed us this crap of I could not afford it. You can afford what is important....this was a decision made by both of you...no marriage...but lets have a baby...... It does sounds like you have both settled into a platonic relationship...so what is it you are looking for from Loveshack? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Gemma1 Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 Sounds like you haven't put your foot down and demanded a real relationship. There's no way my husband would ever tolerate me sleeping with our son, away from him, for any long period of time. I hope it's not too late for your relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 There's always going to be something missing. You have to get over that. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 A marriage costs nothing if you go to courts and sign the papers. Its an excuse to not get married. There is probably resentment on your gf's part for not being married and settling into the routine. Every relationship that suceeds, needs effort on daily basis. Let it go easy, then see it let it go as well. You need to reflect on yourself.When or how did it comes to this stage? If you dont give attention to your wife/gf , someone else will. Then the only person you could blame is yourself. Hold the reins when you can. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts