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I don't have a very good support system, so I don't have anyone that I can talk to about my situation. I really need advice...

 

I have been married for 2 years now. When I met my husband, he had a job, had a car, and was living with his friends. He wasn't the most responsible person, but he managed. Soon after getting married, he quit his job which resulted is us having to move in with my parents (I have a child from a previous relationship and needed to rely on my parents for support). He has quit about 5 jobs since his first one. He spends most of his time going to play pool with his friends, spends whatever money he makes with odd jobs on doing this and drinking beer. He never buys diapers, food for the house, nor does he provide money for bills, etc. He recently got pulled over and got his car impounded for driving with no insurance and driving with an expired tag. I just feel lost. I have asked him time and time again to get his life together, but his response is to blame everyone else for his issues. This has been happening for over a year, and I just don't know what I should do. I want a divorce, but my friends keep telling me to stick it out...I just don't think I can anymore. He tells me that I'm overreacting.

 

My question is, should I continue to stick it out in hopes that he will get his life together, or is it pointless? I don't think I love him anymore. I don't like him touching me, we never have sex, and I'm starting to notice other men....

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Hi Amy,

 

I think that you have made up your mind about it and you just seek for approval since your friends don't give it to you.

From what you describe it looks like you have many reasons to leave him. But I have a few questions.

Firstly why do you believe that your friends don't support your decision? Do they know the whole story?

Moreover, do you truly want to fix your marriage? Because I think that inside you you have already decided.

If the answer is yes, then you need to sit him down for a serious conversation. Not pick a fight but present him with your arguments and communicate your frustration about the situation. Explain to him that you are a family and his actions affect everybody. Tell him it's time for him to own up to his actions and responsibilities. But ask him questions. Does he like the situation? How can you change the situation you are in? If he's not willing to try why is that? What do you think has led him to that kind of behavior? What does he think?

You have some serious work to do.

On the other hand I think it would be good for you to do some soul searching as well. Are you holding up to your end of the "deal"?

From what I read you have financial problems so I wouldn't suggest that you go to marriage counseling but you can make your own research on the web for ways to resolve issues of miscommunication, trust and responsibilities.

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