siankat Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Hi all My partner has two children and we hope to have one of our own. I've always felt at times that he prioritises our relationship in subtle ways such as taking holidays together without his kids as well as with, which while I wasn't sure I agreed with, it made me feel that he appreciated our relationship as an entity in itself. However, there have been several instances where I'll ask him to do something such as swap a shift with a colleague as in this instance, it would've saved us $300 and a day on travel arrangements for a trip we both agreed to make. He said he wouldn't ask that one colleague as people always asked her for favours and she was a pushover and he didn't want to take advantage. I said he could offer to do any other shift she wanted, or ask in a way like she didn't feel at all pressured, but he said he wouldn't even ask. There have been other similar circumstances. I don't like feeling that he prioritises and considers the wants needs feelings predicaments of a co-worker in this way. I'd understand if he didn't want to ask if for example, I just wanted him to take the night off to go to the movies and she had a christening to go to or something. Then I'd understand. But I worked hard around his and my schedule to sort the trip so I feel like his priorities on this and other similar occasions are skewed. I wonder does he just want to be seen as the good guy to others or himself at work and needs that? Any insights welcome, thanks Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 This isn't him being seen as a good guy, this is him being a good guy. It was respectful of him to not ask a favour of someone who's known as a pushover. I think it's also good to work your travel arrangements around his shifts and not ask others to swap. You sound like you have a good man. Appreciate him 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Anderlie Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Yeah he sounds like... a good guy? He looks after you, he looks after his kids and he spreads that to others as well. He sounds empathetic. Next time as Basil said try and arrange your travel so it's less dependent on uncertainties and he's not put in an uncomfortable position. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I see nothing wrong with his actions at all. You just need to make plans around his shifts without expecting him to swap. He sounds like a decent guy... you should appreciate a guy that doesn't like taking advantage of others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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