Stuck in a rut

[Selfishwife]

Im currently in the process of trying to diagnosis whether i have ms or not! I have had a mri and its about 90% that I due have it but that was at hospital and now just waiting to get in to see nuerologist to confirm it with most likely more tests. Anywho... Im going through a lot as is my family! Its stressful for us all and scary too. I have crazy mood swings that affect my family! Im depressed, quiet and sometimes cold. I just feel like i cant get right.

 

In the meantime my husband is being great but he drives me crazy with his "trying to help". I sound like a horrible lady but I just wish I could do this alone and at times wish hed leave me. I hate that hes so sweet and I'm not appreciative. But I can't seem to snap out of this. I know a friend who has MS and she said the mood swings and etc are normal but I need to tell my dr so I can treat that.

 

Hes such a good guy but I feel sorry for him hes stuck with me. I want him to be happy and helping me when Im ill ir hurting and not able to walk is dragging him down. I guess I'm selfish but I want to be alone! I just dont know how else to deal with this and maintain a good happy marriage and be the wife he deserves!

[Ronni_W]

Wife,

You're being the OPPOSITE of "selfish"!

Selfish people do NOT have any great sense of their impact, negative or positive, on others.

 

I am a generally independent, self-reliant person, so I can only speak from that. I don't like feeling that I'm being a "burden". BUT. If we look at it from the perspective of people who actually do love us and want to care for and comfort us, then we are as much a "burden" to them when we're not 100%, as they are to us, when they're not. (For me, I feel useful and good to know if/when I can help, and make things easier for those I love. We can suspect that they feel the same...when I give up my own 'stuff' and allow them to help me, that is.)

 

It will be selfish to not speak with your doctor as your friend suggested, and get whatever assistance for also your mental-emotional state. It will be selfish to not keep open the lines of communication with your husband and share your feelings. You can help him realize that he may need to find independent, third-party help/support also.

 

But it's NOT selfish to accept his love and caring at this time. It's NOT selfish to give him the opportunity -- he may even see it as a privilege -- to love you and care for you...as he promised you, as his bride, that he would.

 

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. I do know that it's scary, stressful...and a whole range of other non-positive things, as well.

 

Hugs.