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Wife "cheated" on me, and now I feel like the town clown

Marriage & Life Partnerships Debunking the old-ball-and-chain stereotype one couple at a time.

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Old 28th July 2014, 10:43 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by A.Moscote View Post
Sorry if this is just a trivial part of your problem, but is that a 'not related, don't care' statement I read? Do you mean it doesn't matter if your (or your wife's) action contribute to unjust and hurt towards others (that guy's wife)?

I know everyone has their own style, but somehow I always thought the swinging community emphasis so much on openness and respect. That's what I kinda admire about them.

^This is the first thing many should've realize and accept from the beginning.

I meant, I won't worry about his wife. She is his responsibility. No one forced him to do anything. He should worry about her feelings.
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Old 29th July 2014, 1:24 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by texas143 View Post
We moved to this little town in a metro area of texas just a few months ago.
We temporarily stayed in a apartment, before we buy a house.
By the apartment there is this little ****ty biker bar. My wife and I started going there. Mostly her, since I work and she is stay with the kids all day, she often asks for a few hours out of the house.
Going back in time a little, at our previous location, we used to be regulars at a swing club, almost never did swing, but sometimes...
I have been asking her for a couple years allready to have open relationship.
So one day she met this guy at the bar, and called me asking if the deal was still up, bc she met a guy, I said yes.
Problem is, I didnt know he was friends with the owner and the bartenders, belong to the bike club which the bar owner is the president.
And she, instead of having sex once or twice, made a point of making him kinda obsessed for her. She wanted to feel powerfull. The thing dragged so much, it became everyones knowledge.
Me not knowing that (how public it became), I started trying to joing the biker crowd.
Two days ago, she told me that more people know, the bar owner gave her a speech on how she was gonna ruin the guys marriage, yada, yada...

I ask you all: should I be embarrased to hang out there and ride with the bikers? should I feel like im the town clown? Or I am being paranoid? Its ok to ride and hang out there?

If ur gonna be judgmental, please keep it to yourself.

Thank you all!
This is why I don't think open marriages work. I mean what's the point. i'm sorry you're feeling bad I think maybe you should rethink monogamy.
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Old 30th July 2014, 4:03 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Brigid View Post
This is why I don't think open marriages work. I mean what's the point. i'm sorry you're feeling bad I think maybe you should rethink monogamy.
That's is just not what I asked.
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Old 30th July 2014, 10:05 PM   #19
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I agree with setting rules and boundaries you've both agreed upon. Either you're both open and honest about the dynamics of your relationship and expect respect as a couple in the public eye, or you are both discrete about the dynamics and anything related (side relationships of flings, blatant flirting in public in front of others, etc), essentially putting on the airs of being in a monogamous relationship for public presentation.
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Old 4th August 2014, 4:16 PM   #20
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You should be embarrassed. I would be mortified if people knew I gave my consent to be a cuck.

It is clear that she does not want an open ended marriage. Her desire to keep it a secret is because she is getting off on sleeping with other guys with your knowledge while you are waiting in the sides.

Last edited by sabre80; 4th August 2014 at 4:22 PM..
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