Mapper71 Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 This is SO minor but it SO rubbed me the wrong way! This morning before I left for work I did a little trip around the backyard to look at the garden and refill the bird feeder. I noticed that the birdbath was just about dry. DH had said he dumped out the water that was in there a few days ago and just filled it up a little bit since we weren't seeing much action and he thought it may be too deep. Well I've had birdbaths before and it wasn't "too deep" but you can't tell him that! So I text him at work saying "No water left in the birdbath this morning so birds must be using it!" He replies with "I didn't fill it up all the way". I reply with "I know, but there was just a trickle left". He replies with "Right...probably because I didn't fill it up all the way". I could have replied with something smarmy but just left it. Yes....I get that you didn't fill it up all the way but there was like 2 teaspoons of water left it. Are you saying that you just put 2 teaspoons of water in? If not, then like I said--birds have been using it! He just didn't get the point that there was hardly ANY water left so the birds have used it. He just kept making seem like I was an idiot for not understanding him the first time when he said he didn't fill it up all the way. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Its summer time. Evaporation. Why is this even a big deal? Do you just enjoy drama? 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 Its summer time. Evaporation. Why is this even a big deal? Do you just enjoy drama? Mea culpa, mea MAXIMA culpa for posting my annoyance! Don't like it then don't read it! It kills me how many people say I love drama and have petty issues, but those same people are the ones who can't help but read my ridiculous posts and respond again and again to them...telling me how ridiculous they are. I just picture everyone chomping at the bit with the popcorn at the ready for my next response that they can shoot down!! It wouldn't matter what I wrote as some people will find a way to turn it against me no matter what. Carry on good people! Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 So if everyone is telling you your issues are non issues, who is the one causing the problems? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Was the whole topic something that could have waited until later? Maybe he was annoyed at being interrupted at work for such a trivial concern? He replied 'I didn't fill it up all the way' because he'd already told you as much a couple of days ago. And yes, I'm sure he repeated it one more time just to show that he obviously didn't think you were 'getting it'. You admit you 'could have replied with something smarmy', while his responses sound like the ultimate in patience with you. What does that tell you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 So if everyone is telling you your issues are non issues, who is the one causing the problems? Um.........could it be me??????????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 (edited) Was the whole topic something that could have waited until later? Maybe he was annoyed at being interrupted at work for such a trivial concern? He replied 'I didn't fill it up all the way' because he'd already told you as much a couple of days ago. And yes, I'm sure he repeated it one more time just to show that he obviously didn't think you were 'getting it'. You admit you 'could have replied with something smarmy', while his responses sound like the ultimate in patience with you. What does that tell you? Just like I enjoy being interrupted with a text at work from him saying "My game finally showed up in the mail" or "The Tru-Green guy is here working on the lawn" or "The radishes are finally coming up in the garden" or "The cats are enjoying the sun"! Couldn't live without knowing those details while I'm trying to work! I don't give him any smarmy response to that and say "That's great" and carry on.He can live with getting that text from me! Edited July 3, 2014 by Mapper71 Link to post Share on other sites
babedoll91 Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Okay I'm not trying to be rude...it's a bird bath! There are more problems in relationships and actual serious ones than this. He smarted off to you because he probably got irritated that you were making a deal about a bird bath....come on nobodies perfect people forget things all the time and don't do what you want all the time. You need some real problems to complain about. Link to post Share on other sites
haribogumsnickers Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Best advice I can provide is: you handle refilling the water. I hear and totally get what you're saying. But don't let it rub you the wrong way next time. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 (edited) Okay I'm not trying to be rude...it's a bird bath! There are more problems in relationships and actual serious ones than this. He smarted off to you because he probably got irritated that you were making a deal about a bird bath....come on nobodies perfect people forget things all the time and don't do what you want all the time. You need some real problems to complain about. I realize this is nothing which is why I said in my wording "This is SO minor but it SO rubbed me the wrong way!" So does this mean I can smart off to him when he sighs and refolds his clothes because I didn't do it "right"? Or be smarmy because he took the hose out of my hand and watered the garden because I'm not doing it "right"? Damn straight there's more problems in this world to get upset over than birdbaths, clothes being folded and gardens getting watered! Edited July 3, 2014 by Mapper71 Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 I hope you refilled the birdbath all the way! Show that bastard of a husband...tsk tsk. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 I hope you refilled the birdbath all the way! Show that bastard of a husband...tsk tsk. Of course I did! I wasn't "showing" him anything. The whole text was meant as a friendly "Oh at least they are using the birdbath because there's no water in it" It was never meant to be a slam on him, but he made it out like I was an idiot because I didn't understand that the water was gone because he didn't put much in. Which, if he would have thought about it for 5 seconds, meant that the birds HAD been using it! Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Your texts him are the ones that come off as confrontational, and then you get mad.at his responses. You are trying to argue with him about how much water he put in there. This is a really stupid thing to be upset about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 Your texts him are the ones that come off as confrontational, and then you get mad.at his responses. You are trying to argue with him about how much water he put in there. This is a really stupid thing to be upset about. Arrgh! Maybe I am not explaining the whole thing correctly! My text was SUPPOSED to be a friendly text saying that the birds must have finally found the birdbath as it is empty. I never meant for it to sound confrontational. He responds with saying he didn't fill it up all the way. Okay I get that. However I assume that by him "not filling it up all the way" means he put more than the 2 teaspoons of water in it because that is all that is left. Hence, the water being gone must mean the birds are using it. He once again reiterates that the birdbath is empty because he didn't put much water in it. No, the birdbath is empty because the birds have been flapping around in the water you put in there and now it is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Note to self: fill hummingbird feeders tonight after work. I'd text husband to do it, but it won't get done right. OP, anytime it's pointed out that I'm not doing something right, I hand it over to him, 'it's yours from now on'. It's actually gotten me out of quite a few tasks, LOL! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 Note to self: fill hummingbird feeders tonight after work. I'd text husband to do it, but it won't get done right. OP, anytime it's pointed out that I'm not doing something right, I hand it over to him, 'it's yours from now on'. It's actually gotten me out of quite a few tasks, LOL! See my explanation above! It had NOTHING to do with him not doing it or doing it wrong! It was SUPPOSED to be a friendly text as an "oh by the way, the birds must be loving the birdbath as the water is gone. I am going to fill it up" Why is everyone seeing this as me chastising him for there not being any water in it??!!! Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Of course I did! I wasn't "showing" him anything. The whole text was meant as a friendly "Oh at least they are using the birdbath because there's no water in it" It was never meant to be a slam on him, but he made it out like I was an idiot because I didn't understand that the water was gone because he didn't put much in. Which, if he would have thought about it for 5 seconds, meant that the birds HAD been using it! Unless you actually saw the birds in it, you can't assume they are. Because it was only half full, and as Keenly pointed out evaporation happens during the hot summer months... Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 (edited) This isn't really a big deal...but we're humans and I do get being annoyed and upset with your SO over little tiffs. I've definitely been there and I particularly hate texting with my bf sometimes as I feel like misunderstandings are more rife through that medium. Which seems to be part of the problem that you meant it "friendly" but it didn't come off that way. Chalk it up to text not being that great of a way to communicate sometimes. It happens. However....this really isn't a big deal, so let it blow over and move on. This isn't really anything worth fighting over. Since you seem like the bird expert just ask him without being snarky to put a certain amount of water or however you'd like for him to do it or better yet, do it yourself and leave it at that. Edited July 3, 2014 by MissBee 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 I realize this is nothing which is why I said in my wording "This is SO minor but it SO rubbed me the wrong way!" So does this mean I can smart off to him when he sighs and refolds his clothes because I didn't do it "right"? Or be smarmy because he took the hose out of my hand and watered the garden because I'm not doing it "right"? Damn straight there's more problems in this world to get upset over than birdbaths, clothes being folded and gardens getting watered! Hey if my H did that, I wouldn't fold his laundry again. I'd let him water the garden too since it wasn't done to his liking. Mapper, I feel your frustration and I hope you're able to laugh it off, shrug your shoulders and let it roll off your back. Your H is anal and he's a control freak. Either accept him for who he is or start making a plan on how to leave and divorce him. Everything you are upset about adds up and bit by bit takes way the love you feel for him, leaving behind resentment and puts you on edge, expecting the worst from him. Hope this makes sense to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 See my explanation above! It had NOTHING to do with him not doing it or doing it wrong! It was SUPPOSED to be a friendly text as an "oh by the way, the birds must be loving the birdbath as the water is gone. I am going to fill it up" Why is everyone seeing this as me chastising him for there not being any water in it??!!! Is it possible that you were reading into his text because of the dynamic between you two recently? Your irritation and how he words things? Or was he really trying to make you react, pushing your buttons? You know him, we don't. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 See my explanation above! It had NOTHING to do with him not doing it or doing it wrong! It was SUPPOSED to be a friendly text as an "oh by the way, the birds must be loving the birdbath as the water is gone. I am going to fill it up" Why is everyone seeing this as me chastising him for there not being any water in it??!!! I wasn't talking about the bird bath. I was talking about the clothes folding and him taking the hose out of your hand. I saw your explanation. Frankly, I think you need help if you're bothered by trivia, and can get upset with anonymous strangers on the internet. Maybe some chill pills. How's your blood pressure? Let me guess, it runs high. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 While, I agree with everyone else that you are a crazy person, it seems you're misunderstanding your husbands text too. - Let's say a full birdbath is "10". - You have been seeing no action. - Husband empties birdbath, fills it to 6. - Husband theorizes that 10 is too much, but 6 will attract birds. - You notice that birdbath is at 1. - You tell husband that the birds have found the birdbath. - Husband says, yeah... because I filled it to 6 instead of 10. - You lose the plot. - ??? - Post on Loveshack 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 While, I agree with everyone else that you are a crazy person, it seems you're misunderstanding your husbands text too. - Let's say a full birdbath is "10". - You have been seeing no action. - Husband empties birdbath, fills it to 6. - Husband theorizes that 10 is too much, but 6 will attract birds. - You notice that birdbath is at 1. - You tell husband that the birds have found the birdbath. - Husband says, yeah... because I filled it to 6 instead of 10. - You lose the plot. - ??? - Post on Loveshack :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Hey if my H did that, I wouldn't fold his laundry again. I'd let him water the garden too since it wasn't done to his liking. Mapper, I feel your frustration and I hope you're able to laugh it off, shrug your shoulders and let it roll off your back. Your H is anal and he's a control freak. Either accept him for who he is or start making a plan on how to leave and divorce him. Everything you are upset about adds up and bit by bit takes way the love you feel for him, leaving behind resentment and puts you on edge, expecting the worst from him. Hope this makes sense to you. Finally someone who talks sense in this thread... Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Damn straight there's more problems in this world to get upset over than birdbaths, clothes being folded and gardens getting watered! And yet, those are the things you are getting upset over... While, I agree with everyone else that you are a crazy person, it seems you're misunderstanding your husbands text too. - Let's say a full birdbath is "10". - You have been seeing no action. - Husband empties birdbath, fills it to 6. - Husband theorizes that 10 is too much, but 6 will attract birds. - You notice that birdbath is at 1. - You tell husband that the birds have found the birdbath. - Husband says, yeah... because I filled it to 6 instead of 10. - You lose the plot. - ??? - Post on Loveshack Indeed - why did you jump to the conclusion that when your husband said "I didn't fill it up all the way", he was contradicting your observation that the birds were using it? As Enema points out, he originally "didn't fill it up all the way" in an attempt to create a better attraction for the birds. You tell him that you think they came and he says "probably because I didn't fill it up all the way." He might just as well be agreeing with you, but your default is to assume he's arguing: "he made it out like I was an idiot." Is this escalating irritation a common pattern for you? Or does it only come out in written communications, like texts (and forum postings)? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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