Career before time together?

[lonelygal2014]

Hi All,

 

I am a professional woman and have been married for 5 years. So far I have been very career focussed and therefore I was largely okay with my husband's hectic work life which allows for little personal time. He is a consultant and constantly travels which leaves me to my own devices pretty much most of the time. We love each other but I feel quite a bit depressed because its kind of like living on your own. We don't have any children yet since I have just completed my MBA a year back.I can't even ask for much support from my parents or in laws as they are ageing and live in different cities. I do want to have children but I am scared in a lot of ways. If I conceive, I feel that I would pretty much have to work through it on my own. I work for a smaller organisation now and scared of losing my job at times....although my performance has been great so far. I don't have emotional security although I am financially independent. I have discussed this with my husband but he says that the probability of monetary success is higher in his job than others. I have seen the world as well and I try to tell him that there are definitely other jobs which are equally well paying if not better. Obviously I cannot advise him on his choice of job/career which is different from mine. But in my opinion he doesn't want to change what he is doing although he is burning out there. He makes decent money although not a whole lot at least considering the amount of effort he gives and the sacrifices that we both have to make.I have been contemplating about buying a house but I know if I don't work tomorrow, he won't be able to pay for it on his own.All these things have been causing a lot of stress in my life lately. I have been trying to focus in my job, but the loneliness and thoughts about future really worries me. Can't I ask for a little better work life integration? Please advice.

[d0nnivain]

You have to work out an arrangement that words for you. Married or not, I always said I didn't want to be a single mother. My husband's idea of his role in parenting would have left all the responsibility to me so we aren't having kids.

[dichotomy]

If I may ask - how old are you?

 

I see you are in India, I am not sure the culture there on dad's involvements in the kids raising. In the united states there is a recent cultural shift to expect dads to be pretty hands on.

[pink_sugar]

I honestly couldn't be with a man who doesn't understand work/life balance. It's very difficult to have a relationship with someone who's never around IMO. I know sometimes it happens. My husband works a schedule opposite mine, but it's fine until he finds a better job. Things happen and you do what you need to in the meantime, but long term, you and your H need to find a way to make it work. It sounds like he isn't making enough for this to be worth it.