MaddieR Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 My husband and I have been together 3yrs, Married for 2 of them. I love my husband with every bit of my heart but he can be quite jealous and hot headed at times. I have worked at my job the last 4yrs and only recently he has met our Managing Director who is a really good looking, well to do guy and my husband didnt like him. When I first started my job he asked me out but I wasn't interested as I didn't want to mix business with pleasure but he has always let it be known to me that he is attracted to me and still does even though we are both married now, My boss and I always had sexual chemistry. I will admit he is attractive and he lives a pretty flashy life but I love my husband so much that im not into the material things, My hubby is a cop and we do have a volatile relationship but I wouldn't change it for anything. A few times when I would be leaving work and I'd be talking to my boss he would 'joke' and say things like "if he had his way he would have me bend over his car right now", Other times i'll catch him staring at me. I laugh it off but I will admit I like the attention from him. I feel ashamed to say that last night when my husband and I were having sex I ended up fantasizing about my boss and I feel so dirty ever since and I feel like I've done my husband wrong, In work I have made a point of avoiding my boss at all costs and I plan to do the same from now on because if my husband knew about any of it he would kill him and me. Am I horrible to have fantasize about someone when having sex with the man I married? I need advice and how can I stop being lured in by my boss? Please help? Link to post Share on other sites
ZMM Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Here is my advice - definitely keep this little nugget to yourself, as well as the other stuff. You love your husband, continue on with your life. It will be interesting to see if the normal advice regarding TELL YOUR SO everything is handed out. Obviously, in this case that would be a huge mistake. And I am sure you are smart enough to know that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Most people fantasize about others occasionally. It's normal. Keep it to yourself, though, continue to keep good boundaries at work (maybe distance yourself even more, avoid being alone with him, etc.), and you'll be okay. Otherwise, it's a slippery slope, and if you find yourself increasingly fantasizing about your boss, it could create problems in your marriage. I think the reason - if it matters - is that your boss is attractive and finds you attractive, and he is in the position of an alpha male at work, whereas your husband may not be alpha at home. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OpheliaSong Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 What your boss is saying to you is sexual harassment, and highly inappropriate. Fantasies are fantasies but they do let us know what we are desiring so be very careful because you are on the edge of doing something astronomically stupid. If you want to have a healthy marriage and relationship, plan a preemptive strike where you find another job, stay away from your boss, call him out in being sexually aggressive and sexually harassing you and do whatever it takes to remind yourself of the reasons you fell in love with your husband in the first place. Marriage isn't something you can toy with. If you don't know that, look in the Infidelity sections where people,like Sophie, are trying like mad to get their spouse back after cheating with someone they work with. Link to post Share on other sites
Fer_jo Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 How would you feel if it was the other way around and it was your husband allowing his hot female boss to sexually harass him and he fantasized about her? What a poor low self esteem cheap thrill seeker narcissist you must be. Look up the words you don't understand 'special k' Link to post Share on other sites
Sparty97 Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 There is nothing abnormal or particularly wrong with fantasizing about someone else during the act of sex. We all do it. Your mind and thoughts are yours, your spouse has no right to them unless you wish to share them. Now, the talk and looks, the leading on (on your part btw), that is crossing a line. Stop that business with your boss. You may not feel guilty about it because it predates your relationship with your husband, but it is far more inappropriate than any thoughts you might be having. Link to post Share on other sites
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